Research Paper On Codependency

Relationships play an important role in one's life. They are formed on the basis of love and understanding. Relationship helps various people in every aspect of life and assists them in being a better person. Such a relationship was found in the novel

Love is unique in its striking ability to be a driving force in dictating interpersonal relationships. It patterns behavior and orients individuals towards their distinct, unique attractions. According to Velleman, love penetrates deeper than one’s qualities; it extends to one’s rational will, or the essence of a person. To him, though love appears to have particularity, it is also a moral emotion. Kolodny subscribes to the relationship theory, asserting that an ongoing, interpersonal, and historical relationship with a relative is a part of the reason for love. In Kolodny’s view, the existence of the true self is irrelevant, as is the morality of love. Both Velleman and Kolodny disprove the quality theory; however, their perceptions of love and its morality differ. I believe that Kolodny is correct in his view that morality is irrelevant to love and that there must be factual reasons for love. Although it is enticing to believe that one is attracted to the essence of another, the essence is not motivation enough for love. The relationship theory takes into account the motivation needed to love a particular person from a historical, interpersonal, and ongoing perspective.

Fairy tales tell us that once upon a time a girl met a boy; they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Reality is not that simple. Long-term relationships force couples to become more acquainted with each other, include themselves in each others’ worlds and eventually develop further connections. However, a relationship can come to an end point and therefore one will try to come back in the other’s life. This type of relationship is remarked in Fran Kimmel’s short story “Laundry Day”. The author suggests that getting rid of unhealthy relationship leads to happiness, the author uses the protagonist’s transformation, contrasting characters and symbols.

The human idea of love is quite possibly the most misunderstood in today’s society. Love can be between a man and woman, mother/father and their kids, or even really good friends. However, these relationships of love go through many interactions and stages to start and progress. Many psychological events must occur and be worked through in order to be successful. All relationships must endure the five perspectives of human behavior. These perspectives are biological, learning, social and cultural, cognitive, and psychodynamic influences.

The Complexity of Human Relationships Human relationships are complex and diverse and are generally major aspects of the life of a person. They can have resounding positive as well as negative impacts on a person’s life that are felt no matter where the two people in the relationship are. They also tend to fluctuate, as they have their brighter moments along with their not so favorable moments. Finally, a relationship is expected to be reciprocal, and generally the actions of one party in a relationship will dictate the reactions of the opposing party to such treatment. Furthermore, in a hierarchical relationship such as the relationship between parents and children, the inability for group in lower order within the relationship,

When I first thought of the word codependent, I immediately thought to myself, “That’s definitely not me. I am an independent person who doesn’t need someone to be happy.” As I turned each page I realized that I was completely wrong. Beattie’s definition of codependency on page 36 is where I first recognized that I was absolutely a codependent person. She states, “A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior” (Beattie, 1986, p. 36).

B1/A2/A*1-John Bowlby’s attachment theory is a positive aspect to this transition as the child are likely to gain secure attachments with their key worker which enables them to work closely with each other, this then allows the child to be more comfortable with any support they receive throughout the process, however the child may become too attached to their key worker and may face issues later when the times comes for them to separate therefore it is important for children to spend time with other members of staff. Children can be attached to other practitioners other than their key worker so it is important for both to communicate to ensure that the key worker knows everything about the child and keep on track with any paperwork they have to complete about the child and keep track of the child’s progress and development. I think that Bowlby attachment theory is important within this transition as the child going into care needs a secure attachment to someone as the attachment to their parents will be disrupted and the child needs someone for support especially a child of this age. The child can make an attachment to their foster carer however this also may be difficult if the child is in temporary foster care and are removed from care, this may cause the child distress as all the attachments they have made are being disrupted. There are many criticism of Bowlby’s theory, one of these are that Bowlby believed that ‘Bowlby suggested that a child would initially form only

Girme, Overall, Simpson & Fletcher (2015) has proven that they respond negatively when given support by their partner and, Feeney and Noller (1990) report that they express mistrust of others during their life. Feeney and Noller (1990) had an experiment that measured subjects scores based on their response to the background questions about their love experiences on Ludus, Loving and Romantic Love Ideals scales, and the Avoidance of Intimacy scale. The results were high on Ludus and low on the Loving and Romantic Love Ideal scales and the Avoidance of Intimacy scale for the avoidant subjects (Feeney and Noller, 1990). The results for the avoidant subjects differed than those that were secure and anxious-ambivalent groups as the Unfulfilled Hopes, Self-Conscious Anxiety, Avoidance of Intimacy, and Personal and Social Self-esteem of the avoidant subjects were the important features that were determined (Feeney and Noller, 1990). The secure subjects were high in self-confidence and were trusting in their relationships however, the anxious-ambivalent subjects were dependent and had a strong desire for commitment in their relationships, their response to love was neurotic rather than companionate (Feeney and Noller, 1990).

Loyalty and devotion make up the base of a healthy loving relationship. Love can be a beautiful thing and in media today, we see it all around: music, books, movies, TV shows; anything at all can be traced back to the central idea of love. It’s all about happy endings, and we eat it up. Just as love is beautiful, it can be dangerous, even deadly. “Romeo and Juliet”, “Pyramus and Thisbe”, “Duty”, all of these love stories have but one thing in common: death. Love is blinding, and it often misleads people to make rash decisions that may end up being their last.

Many of us approach life in different ways; sometimes we are painstaking and other times we delve into circumstances or create events or situations, without having full understanding of what might be involved. This human imperfection is apparent in the love styles and love addictions of many characters depicted in Rowland Miller’s Intimates Relationships and John Moore’s Confusing Love With Obsession. Whereas many people enter and maintain healthy relationships where mutual respect and care thrives, there are some who are obsessed with their partners to the point of destroying the relationship on which they have come to depend. They cannot walk away from such destructive relationships, and misconstrue the unhealthy attachments as love.

For both participants, their sense of security in longevity of the primary relationship is significant. When the relationships were taken away, they experienced profound loneliness. The void they experience in a response to their loss of primary relationships, were not easily fulfilled by other people in their lives. This finding is consistent with Dahlberg’s (2007) postulation that a sense of companionship cannot be fulfilled by any one person. A companion needs to be someone significant to the individual. Furthermore, the finding of this study and the literature (Dahlberg, 2007) indicate that the individual also needs to feel that he or she is significant to one’s companion. Loneliness increases and is experienced as problematic when loss

There has been some recent argument against the current understanding of the place of relationships in psychotherapy. While most theories argue that relationships are important or even essential to good mental health, other theorists claim that the way relationships are conceptualized in these theories is insufficient (Slife & Wiggins, 2009). Most of these theories conceptualize the individuals first, and then talk about the way these individuals relate. Relationships are often understood as two or more independent self-contained individuals interacting (Slife & Wiggins, 2009). An alternative way to look at relationships is offered by relational psychoanalysts and other theorists, though again it should be noted that

(3) Does culture have an impact on their decision? These findings connect in a meaningful way to other matters of importance such as dating and the need of a companion and how it affects their daily life. Given that there is limited studies on interdependency, this study gives more reinforcement to the subject. In other words, this study can be well linked to many future actions. For example, (a) interdependency to being with someone while completing special task (e.g., the gym); (b) interdependency in relationships; and (c) Domestic violence and vulnerability. These scenarios can be linked to one another and with further research there can be a better understanding of female dependency with simple daily

Another point for Peck is that love is not dependency. He defines dependency as “the inability to experience wholeness or to function adequately without the certainty that one is being actively cared for by another” (Peck 98). For Peck, people of passive dependency lack self-discipline and cling to withering relationships for the sake of attachment. They spend so much energy in seeking others to love them that they have none to love others. In this, dependency is a form of antilove, is only one-sided, and does not foster growth.

For many of us who are in a relationship either by marriage or simply as mates can relate to the feelings they are exhibited within and around one when they are with or simply thinking about our mates. This feeling of security and belonging tends to increase our love towards each other, especially during times of pain and death. We begin to see the world of insecurity and being alone, a world of being abandoned and feeling useless. There are those who don’t posses a “soul mate';, and nonetheless they too feel an increase of love; the love of having a mate of being wanted and loved, and the feeling of not being alone.