He was a whirlwind. A terribly beautiful hurricane of chaos, drawing from the strength of the sea and moving swiftly through lives, taking what he needed and leaving meager gifts in turn. We all just felt blessed to receive a visit. People like that- charismatic, manipulative, powerful- will make you feel that way. Their critical, discerning gaze falls on you, and- if they decide- you become more beautiful, more special, than ever dared dream. I was ready to be shaken. To be rocked. To be swept up in something bigger than me, bigger than the life I was living practically by rote: work, school, study, party. Repeat. Always the same conversations at the same bars with the same people. Yes, I like music. No, I didn’t see that movie yet. …show more content…
The storm swept in and I let myself be carried. We had sex the first night. We were “a thing” within the weekend. He asked me to move to his city in two weeks. He loved me, madly, in a month. I was lost in him. I wanted so badly to be loved, desired, respected, by someone like him. Someone special. I wasn’t full, so I let him fill me. I couldn’t see the good in myself, so I let him project himself onto me. And just like that, one day, he started to take it away. The cycle isn’t new, and it’s not glamorous. It was a pattern of me saying something “irrational” or “being crazy” and he would explode at me, raging hours, reducing me to blubbering apologies and desperate pleas for a second chance. Anything to keep his love, his regard. If my words weren’t carefully thought out, delivered in the right tone of voice, at the right moment, he lost it. From telling him I struggled with an eating disorder to not wanting to pick the restaurant for dinner to doing the dishes incorrectly, if it wasn’t what and how he wanted to hear, his temper blew. I went from being a cool, groovy yoga teacher and promising in my academic field to being scorned: yoga was stupid. Those people are crazy. You need to get a better job. You need to work more. Your dreams are less than. You have problems, you know that, right? You’re lucky that I love you enough to stay with you. He withheld physical affection and would shove me
There are times when you will argue with your partner. It is important to learn to apologize for your wrong doings in the relationship. Be sincere and genuine when you’re saying sorry. It is important to maintain your individuality in the relationship. If your spouse or partner says something to hurt your feelings, be open and talk it out. If you need more help with communication in your marriage you can seek counseling. It can be beneficial.
‘’...he was on the verge of real love. I thought it would be nice for me to be in love
In this relationship, I felt like I couldn’t speak my mind; if I did, I felt like I would get punished for it in one way or another. I walked on eggshells and quickly learned to tiptoe around issues or concerns within our relationship. I felt like my feelings, thoughts, and opinions were never validated, no matter how I tried to communicate; conversations, texts, letters, I tried everything but I was still brushed off most of the time and never had his undivided attention, no matter how important the issue was to me. I couldn’t talk about my feelings, if I were to bring up something regarding how I felt, he would quickly become upset and this would manifest itself in many different ways, whether he’d be combative, judgmental, dismissive, frighteningly aggressive, or
So, it’s hard for me to listen to him. But I really should because the things that he was bringing to my attention are those that need to be fixed and address. Instead of listening to him, I got mad and shut the door. It caused fight. So, that’s the mistake of not using useful feedback.
All my accomplishments flashed in front of me and it appeared none of it matter. Kanye West has a line in one of his earlier songs that say, “…Even in a Benz (Mercedes), your still a ****** in a coupe” meaning no matter your accomplishments, to some people you will always be inept. Sadly, this is true and the reality we all must deal with. I know my friends meant no harm, but uniquely wanted to gain insight on a topic they assumed I would be an expert on. We can define that as stereotyping, but like I said earlier, that is a touchy subject for people who would dismiss your feelings and say times have changed, creating more challenges. There has been million instances identical to this; this event being the most
Bit by bit, you started breaking him. Bit by bit, you tore him down. He didn’t realize it at first, but you were slowly destroying him inside. You aren’t that person who is viewed as a hero who overcame obstacles, there was nothing there; no wall blocking you out. When his guard was let down, he let you in -- opening, about everything. So why did you think it was necessary to rub salt into open wounds or scratch scars open again? Have you ever stop and consider his feelings or were you high on being righteous, truly believing that every thought spoken out loud was honorable? You are no hero, king, nor a prince charming. You didn’t sweep him off his feet, you cut the ground out from under him. Where is, he supposed to stand now? Where will the
We often had arguments that were senseless and achieved nothing, I remember specifically we had an argument over shimp at one point. We went from being able to go through hell together to not being able to even eat near each other. This hit him and I in different ways.
It wasn’t until I was exposed to reality that I took a close look at what I’d been missing,
We stayed together for another 2-3 months after this, everything was good. Then some girl started liking him at his school, she was so pretty and nice and just better. He ignored her surprisingly. I was happy again. We were happy together. Then he did something stupid Sandip we broke up, this was recently. He told me that he needed to change, he needed to get better then me and him could be happy, of course being me I didn't trust him, I don't trust anyone. I told him he was lying just like he used to and I stopped talking to him. Once in awhile I would send him long paragraphs about how I was the only person that cared and I would never leave him. He had major family issues so sometimes me and my family was all he had. I liked to draw I'm
adored him, I really did. It got so intense. And I just wanted to tell
We talked for about 2 weeks until one night he asked me to be his
And then move on to a better way of thinking and acting." And I like what Richard said, "I'm beginning to think there is more to this than I thought. I like the idea of letting go of old behavior instead of letting go of the relationship. Repeating the same behavior will just get you the same results." I have always thought that that is the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. If it isn’t, it’s pretty close.
I felt stalked and desired at the same time. Nobody had paid so much attention to me before. He showed up at my house with expensive gifts, at my workplace with food I loved, and generally pushed himself to be a needed and wanted fixture in my life.
We dated for a long time–high school sweethearts. I THOUGHT it was love, because he was the first male I
He was a ride. It was the best way to describe him, from the first time I heard of him to the last time I saw him. He wasn't,t gorgeous. There was never anything gorgeous about him. When we made love the first time in the field when we were drunk, especially me, and I didn't really know what was happening, only his weight and wanting to get sick@ I felt terrible after it, scared and soggy, guilty and