Self Reflection

Decent Essays

When I stare at a blank page of paper today, I am able to visualize the many possibilities of its potential use a much more than compared to when I was younger. When I was about elementary/middle school age, black sheets of paper brought the expectation of notes in classes such as Ms. Chilikoff’s history and language arts, Mrs. Williams’s math class, and Mrs. Apodaca’s science lectures. It brings memories of procrastination and hesitation as to how to begin my essays on trivial topics that didn’t particularly leave a lasting impression on my learning experience. I just remember the anxious feeling of trying to be “perfect” on the first try, trying to force myself to start long projects so I wouldn't stress as much, and the therapeutic doodles as I constantly get sidetracked from my work. Outside of the academics, I wrote letters of apology or goodwill when I truly hit my highs and lows. In public, I always felt I needed to compose myself and appear unfazed by the troubling aspects going on in my life but to paint a pretty picture even in front of my family and friends. I rarely let people get so close, due to societal pressures and judgement, so I am not accustomed with getting in touch with my deeper feelings. There is still so much farther I have to go, in order to become in touch with my inner conscience. Writing provided an escape from this facade and being able to make sense of how I am currently feeling. I felt that I didn’t have as much of a connection with

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