Sex Lies And Conversation Deborah Tannen Analysis

Deborah Tannen and William Lutz both discuss the difficulty of communicating. Their point of views may be different, but their conclusion is the same. Men and women have difficulties of communicating. Not because the two genders want to be complicated but simply because we don’t realize how or what we’re doing when it’s happening.

Interpersonal Communication is a very important ingredient in making strong, healthy relationships. Communicating is how we get a better understanding of one another’s perception of things, as well as how we help someone to better understand ours. We need to express our feelings in relationships and know that they are reciprocated. Not communicating leads to problems and misunderstandings. People need to learn to understand what the other person is trying to communicate. Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information, feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages: it is face-to-face communication. It is about what is said, how it is said, and the use of non-verbal communication through

The methods in which men and women communicate are eminently different. This being so, their external state is an indicator of their inner state, but men and women have different external states to express themselves. This is especially evident among children and individuals in relationships, and altered between a couple who tries to adjust their behavior. Deborah Tannen, the author of “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” argues that boys are girls are taught to have a differ inner state, that males and females usually have the same inner state but express them differently when communicating, and that individuals in romantic relationships can alter the way they present their outer state to represent their inner state in a way their partner can relate to.

In “Sex, Lies and Conversation” Deborah Tannen argues that the problems of men and women in marriage are caused by a misunderstanding rather than lack of communication. Throughout the passage she discusses theses misunderstandings and reveals the solution to the problem.

The articles “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it Hard for Men and Women to Talk to each other” by Deborah Tannen and “Speaking Different Languages” by John Gray are about how men and women often misunderstand each other which causes conflicts and or arguments. When a woman says something it usually has a deeper meaning, but men are usually more direct when speaking; this leads to conflicts and relationship problems. According to Tannen and Gray, men and women can adjust their thinking to minimize misunderstanding by translating each other’s dialect, by understanding their different ways of listening, and different body languages.

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

Information is exchanged between two or more people every day. Talking face to face is the most common form of communication, although it can also be done through body language or electronics. Bad habits, interrupting for example, can irritate the other person and cause friction in a relationship. Deborah Tannen’s “Sex, Lies, and Communication” is effective because men and women converse differently and adapting to one another’s styles can be difficult.

In “Sex, lies and communication” by Deborah Tannen she discussed how men and women are different when they have a conversation; both of them have different type of communication. When men and women communicate they do it different, women tend to give detail when they speak in other hand men go straight to the point. Women and men have a lot of misunderstanding because they are so different when they talk. Women and men are different too because their brain. Their brain is develop and connected different which make them each genre at better thing than the opposite sex. How they communicate is different; also, the way their brain is develop make them better and certain things.

In the article, “Sex Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” author Deborah Tannen, argues that the culture differences in males and females communication, both expect differences in their partners communication which cause damaged marriages. First Tannen mentions, communication in marriage is difficult due to the fact that males and females have come from different cultures. Then Tannen argues, that women expect more intimacy by way of conversation and men share activities in order to gain in their same sex friendships. Tannen also argues that men tend to switch topics often, not concentrating so much on depth as on breadth, not taking turns on same topic; women establish intimacy by diving deeper on a few topics. The author states, male relationships are “agonistic” (Tannen), trying to one up; female relationships are not that way, as they seek equality instead. Finally Tannen, suggests that there are solutions: awareness is key in a cross-cultured communication. (Tannen) While there are some elements to her argument that may generalize too much, in the end, I do find myself convinced by Tannen’s case.

How one communicates is also influenced by gender. Studies show that ones sex can place a person in a gender role expectation. Women and Men communicate differently and because sexual identity is defined through same sex parent or role model, women and men can get into gender role expectations. These expectations influence their perception attitudes and behavior that will result in a communication style. This early self-concept can effect each one's interpersonal relations. Women for instance are much-attached human beings they have very early identification with their mothers, and this can cause an on going pattern of role expectation. It can lead to interpersonal communication skills that are very nurturing and understanding. Women are not threatened by intimacy and communicating at a close range with people. Similarly, men also have an early identification process not with their mother, but their fathers. Men tend to be fairly reserved, and quite. Men are most comfortable when there is a level of separation. This male role will contribute to the communication processes and it can cause communication to

First, Tannen points out that men and women communicate differently. We do not only differ in the way we speak, but why we communicate. Women communicate for intimacy, while men communicate for information. She uses Eleanor Maccoby’s research, a professor from Stanford University, is most influenced by the social structure of peer interaction, which mean that girls tend to play with girls and boys with boys. “I believe these systematic differences in childhood socialization make talk between men and women like cross-cultural communication, heir to all the attraction and pitfalls of that enticing but difficult enterprise. My research on men’s and women’s conversation uncovered patterns similar to those described for children’s group” (Tannen 382). This means that the problem with the communication gap between

Male and female differ in their use of communication because their reasons for communicating are different. Men

There exists a disparity in the communication phenomenon between men and women. This disparity according to scholars can be attributed to the male dominance in the society today and relationship tensions between couples. A study on cross-sex conversations showed that, when men and women engage in a friendly conversation, they do so as equals but they do not play the same roles in the communication. Women tend to ask more questions and likely to utter utterances that encourage responses from the other speaker. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to interrupt their partner’s conversations and make direct opinions and facts to control or dominate the conversation. Thus, the communication phenomenon between men and women is strikingly distinct.

Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of

Men and women have different ways on how they express their words. Women can be saying one thing but their emotions feel another, known as the hidden message. Men can be speaking upon something based on lies with a straight face and would not be questioned. Undeniably, men are ofetn good with words but women put the meaning behind the word. Therefore, there is always miscommunication between the two. Women talk to connect and fit in, while men talk about their manhood. The mindset that embedded in society says the status quo for men is to be masculine and the women to be feminine. That status quo pushing each gender to a cruel role in society.