Stepchildren's Communication Accommodation Theory

Divorce is common in the United States; remarriage is just as common. As a result many marriages result in a blended family. A family in which both of the parents have children from previous marriages. Often the blended family shares a permanent residence. Clair Cartwright and Kerry Gibson state in their 2013 report, The effects of co-parenting relationships with ex-spouses on couples in step-families, that in the United States in 2008, around 9% of households and around 12% of cohabiting households were blended families ( Teachman & Tedrow, 2008). A blended family is an excellent place to observe symbolic interaction theory.

What evidence can you gather from observation or your own personal experience or both to show that stepfamilies (a) may be more culturally acceptable today than in the past and (b) remain negatively stereotyped as not as functional or as normal as first-marriage, nuclear families?

The family dynamics in Max Apple’s “Stepdaughters” and Amy Tan’s “A Pair of Tickets” displays some of the issues that parents, stepparents and teenagers may or may not experience. A mother’s relationship with her children has a very unique connection, especially when it comes our daughters. Being a mother or stepmother is a problematical and rewarding experience: nevertheless, a mother’s love is unconditional. How do you except someone for his or her choices on being different? Is it easier for a step-parent to see things more clearly that the biological parent? Every family has its issues. When it’s a blended family with mothers, fathers, stepchildren and other family member, those issues can become more complex to understand.

Because of their utmost devotion to each other, members of a blended family are able to adjust to new situations and be just as functional as a traditional nuclear family. They even have the potential to prosper more so than a traditional nuclear family. I will prove this by examining relationships between children and stepparents, stepsiblings, and the positive benefits that I have experienced being a member of a blended family myself.

Did you know that one third of all children in the United States (US) are expected to live in a stepfamily before they reach the age of 18[helpguide.org 2008]? While some people consider blended families abnormal, they can be just as good as a “regular” family. With blended families becoming more common, there are more studies being done to show both the similarities and differences between “regular” and blended families.

Some of the major concepts behind Communications Theory are clarified in the following five categories: Blaming, placating, computing, distracting and leveling. Satir developed these categories to better understand the dynamics behind a variety of behavioral styles that can be observable amongst family members. Blamer behavior finds fault and has trouble accepting responsibility. This person is usually blaming someone or something else. The blamer hides a feeling of alienation and loneliness behind a tough and complacent mask and is more likely to initiate conflict. On the other hand,

This study’s key variables show that things like relationships with the biological parents, depression, and delinquency prior to a stepfather being introduced to the home will predetermine how stepfathers and step children will get along during that first year while living under the same roof.

The process of family interactions is like the patterns of conversation at the dinner table” Nichols (2014).The structural approach views structure, subsystems, and boundaries as essential components. If boundaries does not exist within each subsystem problems will be precipitated, therefore, boundaries should exist within each subsystem. “From a structural perspective, a family is organized into subsystems. For subsystems to operate effectively it is imperative to keep appropriate interpersonal boundaries between the different members of the family and subsystems” Negash & Morgan (2016).

While the quantity of children living with both biological parents has declined, the quantity of children living in a stepfamily has expanded. With changes in family structure. Amid 2013, 42% of American grown-ups have no less than one step relative in their family; 40% of new marriages included no less than one accomplice who had been hitched before and 20% of new marriages were between individuals who had both already been married (Stepmom Magazine, 2014). All families confront challenges. In any case, stepfamilies experience special deterrents that can represent the moment of truth their family.

Being in a blended family is tough, and it can come with some cons. In this paper, Pros and Cons of Living in a Blended Family, a con is acting out. Acting out could be anything from throwing tantrums, telling the new parent in the new family that you're not their real parent, hitting or bullying other children, or even being listless and withdrawn from everything. Children can act out because it is can a huge change to accept the changes in their life. Another disadvantage is insecurity. Moving to a new house, neighborhood, or city and sharing space with strangers can make children feel insecure. Jealousy and confusion is very common in a blended family. Children may be jealous of the new stepparent taking up their biological parent's love, affection, and attention, or even because of having to share their biological parent with their new step-siblings. Children may feel confused on how to feel about the new family. They may feel guilty about now feeling happy enough for their parent's happiness. A blended family is a struggle, and it comes with some disadvantages, but a blended family can have its perks. Sometimes people don’t know how a blended family is going to

Unfortunately in most of the cases in which a stepfamily is assembled, negative feelings already preamble the relationship. Many children see a stepparent as an attempt to replace the absent biological parent. In order to deal with this, both the biological parent and the stepparent of the marriage, need to make the children understand that the stepparents will not replace any previous relationship; instead, he or she represents the opportunity to build a new positive relationship, which will be based on support and tolerance. Is essential that the stepparent does not try to play the role of a parent at the beginning of the relationship. A 1996 clinician study explained that; “Many stepparents fail to build friendships with their stepchildren before moving into disciplinary roles, thereby creating resistance a negative reactions from their stepchildren” (Schrodt 178). This reactions add up to the already negative perception that the child has about this new stranger that is trying to be involve in their life. If a stepparent wants to have any sort of power over the stepchild, is necessary that the stepparent gradually earns this power.

It is my belief that recognizing any family structure or definition is important, as the traditional version may be skewed in so many ways, without knowing or recognizing the “family” that people we run across may come from. We can also learn from other family definitions to build upon our own themes, rules, and beliefs. Adding stigma and prejudice toward families different from our own not only alienate the members, but can add unnecessary stress upon that family system. Stress in any family system can be seen as either an adaptation potential or a negative force. Many effects on the

In conclusion, as the communication accommodation theory seeks to explain, people in society are generally inclined to adjust their behavior and speaking style to mirror the listener’s. In general, doing so is perceived positively as it shows mutual respect for the other person. However, as seen through previous studies, there is a fine line in intergenerational and interability communication when communication accommodation goes too far and is actually perceived as offensive or patronizing.

Romantic step families, in direct contrast, spend a lot of time in forced camaraderie, and teenagers are especially quick to detect this falseness. These families also break up at much higher rate than other step families (62). Matriarchal Step families As the name suggests, in this type of step family the mother plays the dominant role. These families often occur when a single mom finally remarries. Since she is used to carrying the full parenting load, she will continue to do so. These families are more successful when the new stepfather takes a less involved role, especially if the children are teenagers who are just beginning the process of distancing themselves from parental authority. Problems occur when the new father finds himself into a disciplinary role with which he is unfamiliar (66). A variety of studies have shown that there are a sizable number of step families that are not doing well at all. These studies demonstrate that step kids do more poorly on a variety of measures than do kids that live in a traditional, two-parent home, even with adjustments for income level.They are more apt to repeat a grade in school, have disciplinary problems, and drop out of school altogether (Stewart 7). Studies collectively indicate that stepchildren do about as well as kids who live with a single parent, which remains much worse than kids in traditional nuclear families (Mahony 40). According to

A blended family is when two people enter a marriage when they have children from a previous relationship. These families have been termed blended families because the two new spouses and the children are attempting to blend into one family unit. Blended families are commonly known as step families. Some other terms for blended families are reconstituted, restructured, and remarried families. Blended families are starting to become the most common type of family in the United States. It can be hard to determine the exact number of blended families in existence, but data from 2009 showed there are around 5.3 million children living with a step parent. One problem which faces blended families is that they evaluate their success as a family based on nuclear family patterns. Blended families are very different from the nuclear families and when members of a blended family attempt to structure their family in accordance with a nuclear family, they experience culture shock (Strong & Cohen 2014). The differences between the two family types needs to be accepted, and then a blended family can be successful. In this paper, the relationships between family members will be examined including gender differences, the communication between them, and the boundaries they establish. The paper will also go into the educational problems step children tend to have.