The Four Ways Of Leting Go Explained By Ajahn Brahm

Rationale. Mindfulness skills help a patient to develop awareness and to deal with life experiences in a non-judgmental and accepting manner (Williams, Duggan, Crane & Fennell, 2006). It is important to educate the patient on how negative thoughts and feelings of regret can sustain distress, rather than help to resolve it (Williams et al, 2006). This patient expresses feelings of regret and hopelessness towards previous loses, therefore, helping him to avoid self-judgment and to respond to negative thoughts with kindness can help to build his self-esteem and reduce his risk for self-harm.

Each attachment style is divided along two dimensions – the fear of abandonment and the fear of closeness. Bartholomew and Horowitz define fear of abandonment as the model of self which describes the belief of an individual to be either “worthy of love and support or not” (1991). They also define fear of closeness as the model of other which describes an individual’s

Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space (Bowlby, 1969). Likewise, attachment theory is a psychological model that seeks to illustrate the dynamics of both long term and short- term interpersonal relationships (Waters, E.; Corcoran, D.; Anafarta, M. 2005). Additionally, attachment theory address how people respond within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones, or when they perceive a threat (Waters et al., 2005). Attachment theory is the combined work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth (Bretherton, I. 1992, p. 1). The theory predominantly draws on the ideas from doctrines such as, ethology, cybernetics, information processing and developmental psychology (Bretherton, I. 1992, p. 1). It is considered that attachment theory has revolutionized the way society thinks about the relationship between the mother and her child and the importance of

Attachment refers to the degree to which an individual is close to non-deviant others, including, family members, friends and peers. One’s willingness to conforming to norms and expectations is dependent on how attached they are to others. This element goes on to extends

The writer describes “the means of acquisition” as a life contrary to the Buddhist lifestyle and therefore the followers of Buddhism should “not delight in receiving esteem”. Instead they should seek “another the way leading to Nibbana”. Nibbana, or nirvana, is the final goal of the Buddhist religious quest. This results in the psychological extinction of greed, hate, delusion, and other things. This extinction of vices and suffering leads to nirvana. The lesson goes on to say that “having recognized this” the “bhikkhu who is a disciple of the Buddha” should “cherish disengagement”. A bhikkhu literally means one who begs for alms. Buddhist monks or people of religious orders usually lived on alms provided by the normal society. It was part of the lay society's religious duty to provide for the religious class. The followers of the Buddha sought disengagement or the freedom from detachment. This was done by shunning the life of acquisition and leading a life that led to Nibbana.

Fraley (2002) completed a meta analysis of studies concerning attachment in order to investigate the level of attachment pattern’s continuity throughout life. The study indicated that there was a certain stability of the attachment pattern, and that the stability is independent of time. Even though it is theorized that a secure pattern will be likely to stay unchanged, it is still indicated that experiences such as bad relationships will be able to change the attachment pattern (Fraley,

The poem Even as I Hold You written by Alice Walker takes the reader through a paradox of believing that this idea of wanting this person, loving this person so much. However, with more negative words we find that she is, in fact, letting this person go. Even with all the metaphors and descriptive language referring to what she loves about this person the paradox still occurs as she announces in the last line “I am letting go.” While reading this poem, it is interesting to see Walker’s use of the word hold in the title, the first line and in the second to the last line. When thinking of the word hold it is thought to be in reference to keeping close and on the contrary of what she is addressing, not letting go. Throughout reading the poem, it is found several words that go against the idea of the word hold and truly highlight the paradox the poem is presenting.

An individual’s attachment style is conceived as a personality trait which is stable across the individual’s life span. Attachment is seen as a categorical model where individuals are either securely, avoidant or anxiously attached to others. Several studies have indicated how individuals treat attachment-related thoughts is related to their attachment style and governs how they cope with and express the loss of a loved one. When compared with secure and anxious attached adults, avoidant attachment style adults are less concerned with attachment to others. Anxious attachment style adults are worried about loss and will be hyper vigilant to relationship distress.

“Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space’’

Mankind has a natural urge for attachment. Every living person needs someone to be with, someone to confide in, someone to love. Attachment is a basic human necessity that people will fulfill with the companionship of another person, or a non – living object. But sometimes, humans attach onto other people or objects too hastily. After being with the person or object for a very short amount of time, humans feel they are connected to that person or object at a greater extent than they truly are. Sherry Turkle writes in her book Alone Together, how children get attached to toys very easily, and feel the difficulties of separation from these toys, even if they are not living creatures. Meanwhile, Barbara Fredrickson attempts to define love in her novel Love 2.0: How our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become by attempting to look at the science behind attachment and the reasons humans get attached to people and objects as quickly as they do. Attachment is something humans have no control over. Humans have no agency in the attachments they make because attachment changes how the body works by changing the body’s chemical makeup. Furthermore, humans never know when they are going to get attached to a person or object and find it difficult to let go of their attachments.

His ups and downs throughout his career. He also talked about his plans after retiring. It was an interesting subject because you can really see the excitement on his face while he was telling everybody how he is going to a backpacking trip around Asia. He is a single man, in his 50’s with no children. It’s been an experience to remember, to hear a man of his age to finally be doing the things he wanted to do. He is an inspiration to everybody that age does not matter, through patience and perseverance; you can do anything and everything. His speech was a little bit persuasive though. He was persuading everybody to keep on doing a great job, that everything would be worth it at the end. What I remember the most was “do not let anybody determine your future, be the person you want to be”. It was a very inspirational

As I about the dark side, you might think Dave’s heart was full of hatred to his mum because her mum treated him so badly. But in contrast, Dave teach me forgiveness—the art of letting go. ‘No matter what lies in their past, they can overcome the dark side and press on to a brighter world and turn tragedy into triumph’ Dave said in the book. How come a person can let go of his anger and bring love to her mum and his loving child, that’s Dave. Look at what happened to us, sometimes people or ourselves makes mistakes and the hatred will last in our heart, but actually what’s the point in remembering all those tragedy? Why don’t we move on? Just forgive ourselves and forgive others, your friends, your family. Then, you will find you heart is brighter and clearer than ever, just like Dave.

"Extinguishing all forms of clinging and attachment… Suffering can be overcome through human activity simply by removing the cause of suffering" (The Big View).

All the attachments we have affects our behavior, and our psychological state. It is necessary for our well-being and the maintenance of healthy relationships. The attachment theory proposed by John Bowlby suggests that children are born into this world already “programmed” to form attachments to others. Bowlby argued the following: “Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space” (Bowlby,1969). So undoubtedly attachment is something we all have in common.

Attachment is rooted from Freud’s early theories of love. The attachment theory also known as cupboard love, was first penned by