I answered a question once on a forum where someone asked about fostering independence in their small child. I told some variation of the following story (probably with less colorful descriptions):
When my oldest son was about 17 months old, he decided to start putting his dishes in the sink after he finished eating, just like his mom did. "Mom" -- that would be me.
Well, my father essentially did nothing he deemed "women's work" and my husband was also terrible about not picking up after himself. So since my small child was male and lots of males in the immediate family behaved an awful lot like cavemen, I in no way wished to discourage this behavior. I was concerned that any discouragement would cause him to conclude that males
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The problem is this denies them the chance to exercise their brain. It also teaches them that initiative is a bad thing, and they should only do as they are told. The result is that many children arrive at the age of 18 having had precious little opportunity to practice decision-making or exercising their own initiative.
I had my eye on the long game. This small child's body was changing rapidly. One of the metrics that was changing most rapidly was his height.
But even after his body changed and he grew taller, he would have the same mind and he would remember what he had been taught when he was smaller. It is similar to the principle that you shouldn't let a puppy jump on the couch if you don't want the dog jumping on the couch after they are full grown. It may be cute when they are a small puppy, but a large dog that weighs 100+ pounds jumping up on your lap can actually hurt you. It isn't simply that it stops being cute. It becomes downright dangerous.
Forcing kids to engage in "responsible adult behaviors" like putting away their dishes, but doing it by making them your little push-button automaton is totally the wrong answer. Get out of their way. Let them explore and play, decide and do as they see fit.
I am quite fond of the quote "That government is best which governs least." I think it applies equally to parenting. I mostly interceded enough to stop them from hurting
Youngsters and young people notice and after that subsequently get disheartened and start not to think about instruction any longer.
This however could be detrimental not only to children, but also society. Children cannot take care of themselves, and when left to their own devices, they could very easily make the wrong decision when tempted.
During Jacob’s physical examination and interview I was able to observe many of his physical characteristics and other milestones that he has reached. On physical examination and plotting his height and weight on the growth chart I was able to see that his growth is following the growth curve however he is on the smaller size for his age falling
Children who are successful at this stage feel capable and able to lead others. Those who fail to acquire these skills are left with a sense of guilt, self-doubt, and lack of
Children model their own behaviour on others and if adults can effectively communicate and exchange age or developmental appropriate information with children this can encourage them to behave in acceptable ways. Frustration at their own inability to communicate effectively can lead to behavioural problems.
Parents repeatedly tell their children to brush their teeth, comb their hair, and wash their hands. If parents did not remind the children often to look both ways before crossing the road, more than likely a child would not look and end up being hit by a vehicle. If parents and authorities did not remind children to do homework, children would not do it. This is the same method that should be used in homes and schools to educate and bring awareness to the fact that all drugs even prescription can be dangerous and avoided as much as possible. They should be taught not to misuse and/or abuse prescription or illegal drugs. Kids should be educated starting early in childhood and continuously all throughout school years into adulthood. It is common knowledge that when kids reach a certain age they no longer listen to parents, teachers, or other adults. At a certain adolescent age the kids no longer find information from direct, face to face communication with adults credible. This is nothing to fear. The
According to my observations the physical development of the child was under the 50th percentile. He seem to be much shorter than 54 inches and I estimated his weight to be around 60 to 65 lbs. The average physical growth of a boy that age is 6 to 11 for boys weight should be at least 71.2 lbs. The average height should be at least 54 inches. Anything under that would be consider less than average. However, with him being an African American child. He may grow a little faster than a male child his age with Caucasian descendent. According to Martorell et al., (2013), “African
A hunt is a hunt. Just like a pig is a pig, or a boy is a boy. The target the hunters are going after makes all the difference. Hunters hunting a pig would be a normal occasion but hunters going out to hunt a boy would generate a different reaction. The hunters both hunt in packs, have camouflage, and have one single target but what that target is makes all the difference. Forcing children to grow up faster than than their capability and become independent could cause them to make some bad decisions that they would have never thought of if they could have had more time in the socialization process.
Personally it’s not the best objective for children to be brought up and not know the capabilities of the real world. Due to that, when a child grows up and goes out into the real world they wouldn’t be as efficient on how to handle themselves on their own, due to the protected state of mind that they were taught.
Helicopter Parents As the world evolves and changes, parents become more paranoid that the world is also becoming less safe. Due to this accusation, parents are “babying” their children and thus not allowing them to grow up. This results in children who are less mature than their peers and who don't really know how to get what they need, how to be safe or how to interact with their peers.
When my grandparents were being raised, they were raised with a Patriarchal state of mind. My grandparents were raised to believe that the men are the “breadwinners” of the home,
Children today are much more exposed to adulthood, forcing them to grow up quicker. We now put our children in positions where they must take care of themselves. In today’s society, many families struggle with divorce. This leads to parents fighting, dating other people, and moving around a lot to different homes. This is exposing children to things that taint their views on adulthood, leading to them trying to change it during childhood, losing their own in the process. This
Expectations of human behavior and knowledge have been rising generation after generation. Parents push their children because want their children to thrive and succeed, not being aware of the natural mental development. Not only are the children competing with their peers, the parents are also always competing. They compete with one another as to who has the better child. The peer pressure from both the children and the parents causes the children to be hurried. As one child is hurried to over achieve another, the others must “step up their game up” just to catch up. This pushing effect never ceases to stop or reverses, since the parents are too afraid to let their child fall behind, and too afraid to lose face in the community for not having a “mature” child.
This was a really good post. The type of parenting I think would work the best is Authortative parenting. And I think this is probaly the most common type of parenting we use today. I feel like this is the perfect balance between being a parent and being your friend. But I also believe that it depends on the child as well. Because a child can react to different parenting methods. For instance the type of parenting my dad used on me was uninvolved parenting. Even though thats how I was brought up I never got in trouble at school I stayed out of trouble outside of school and I'm in college so I feel it is entirely on the attitude of the child. I think it depends entirely on the child or children you are trying to raise but from a general standpoint
I enjoyed reading your discussion post, but I would like to detail a few things in which I agree and disagree with it. The things that I would like to agree with are the facts that a child must always respect not only their parents but the elderlies as well, it teaches them responsibility and authority, and it also teaches the child that for every action there is a consequence. The one thing that you stated on your post that I would like to disagree with is “According to APA, some of the other disadvantages include delays in education, and psychological disorders which impact cognitive developments” (Shebab.) Why am I disagreeing with this statement? Sure; this may be a concluded official study by the APA, but the reason on why