The Myth Of Co-Parenting By Hope Edelman

    In their book, Boundaries in Marriage, the authors, Cloud and Townsend, present a theoretical model for maintaining healthy relationships, specifically marriage relationships. This examination of Cloud and Townsend’s approach to maintaining healthy relationships summarizes both the theoretical and theological orientation of their proposed model, compares their approach to the model proposed by Sandra Wilson in her book, Hurt people hurt people, and considers the model in the context of Dr. Hawkins concentric circle theory of personality, and parents a critique with regard to some’ of the perceived strengths and

In the articles “My Problem with Her Anger” and The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was,” authors Eric Bartels, feature writer for the Portland Tribune in Portland, Oregon, and Hope Edelman, nonfictional writer whose work has appeared in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and Seventeen magazine, discuss the roles they play within their family and what the other partner is lacking. They express their discontent regarding their wives and the activities they perform domestically. Wives have an image of what they want their family to be like, but according to the

When most people get married, they go into the marriage with the expectations and hopes that everything will go as planned, that they will always get along, and that the responsibilities will be evenly divided between both spouses. And for two working spouses who have children, they share the expectation that no one parent will be more of a caretaker than the other. Eric Bartels, a feature writer for the Portland Tribune in Portland, Oregon, feels as if he has personal experience as to what it is like to be on the receiving end of his wife’s irrational—or at least in his eyes—anger. Bartels informs his readers of the anger his wife projects

For example, Kingsolver defends the notion that families of nontraditional arrangements do not need to be examined, ridiculed or treated differently with pity or tolerance as traditionally married families when she says, “Arguing about whether nontraditional families deserve pity or tolerance is a little like the medieval debate about left-handedness as a mark of the devil” (Kingsolver 16). By this statement, the author clearly expresses her belief that nontraditional families are just as successful in their roles as traditional or married families, though evidence gathered has rejected Kingsolver’s argument. In an article by Naomi Gerstel and Natalia Sarkisian, the authors present the benefits of marriage as opposed to divorced or single parenthood families. Naomi Gerstel writes that, “advocates [of marriage] such as David Popenoe and Linda Waite assert that marriage is good for one’s pocketbook, health, happiness, sex life, and kids. Both men and women who are married tend to have higher incomes, more wealth, better health, and more property than those who are not.” The article goes on to describe the negative impacts of divorce and nontraditional families by introducing National Census statistics of relationships between married parents and their children compared with

One thing that almost everybody will have to deal with at least once in their lifetime is parenting. In parenting, both parents are needed to make the job easier on themselves, their marriage and their child. In the essay The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was. by Hope Edelman, Edelman tells her experience with co-parenting. Edelman, along with many women, initially believed that co-parenting was possible. She soon figured out, however, that it was not a realistic goal. Some points that Edelman hits in the essay are the gender roles and societal expectations in parenting, being the nurturer versus being the provider, and how poor communication can ruin

In Andrew J. Cherlin’s essay “American Marriage In Transition”, he discusses how marriage in America is evolving from the universal marriage. Cherlin’s definition of the universal marriage in his essay is the man is the breadwinner of the household and the woman is the homemaker. In the 20th century according to Cherlin, the meaning of marriage has been altered such as the changing division of labor, childbearing outside of marriage, cohabitation, gay marriage and the result of long- term cultural and material trends (1154). During the first transition of marriage, Cherlin discusses how in America, Europe, and Canada the only socially accepted way to have sexual relations with a person and to have children is to be married (1154). The second change in marriage occurred in 2000, where the median age of marriage in the United States for men is 27 and women is 25 (1155). Many young adults stayed single during this time and focused on their education and starting their careers. During the second change, the role of law increasingly changed, especially in the role of law in divorce (1155). It is proven in today’s research marriage has a different definition than what it did back in the 1950’s. Today marriage can be defined as getting married to the same gender or getting remarried to someone who already has kids. The roles in a marriage are evolving to be a little more flexible and negotiable. However, women still do a lot of the basic household chores and taking care of the

Marriage is oftentimes praised for all its good qualities, but people tend to avoid discussing the downsides of marriage in order to avoid discomfort. Confronting the problems that many couples face in marriage is hard, and most people find it easier to simply overlook any issues they may face to avoid furthering the problem. In “My Problem With Her Anger,” Eric Bartels elaborates on the struggles he and his wife face and what experiencing the effects of spousal anger feels like from a husband’s perspective. Through emotional appeal and anecdotes, Bartels semi-successfully argues that husbands are too often, and unfairly, on the receiving end of their wives’ anger and stress.

To learn about families from a new perspective, I had the opportunity to work as a research assistant in Today’s Couples and Families research lab, which aimed to better understand modern couples and

While both authors stand on the idea of marriage changing in roles, Hope Edelman in “ The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was,” inserts her view about marriage in her own experience that shows her attitude on marriage mainly through her husband leaving all the responsibility toward her. When parents are not there for their kids, often times kids feel unattached with their parents creating a weaker bond. Edelman’s frustration came from having a dream of marrying happily to having it demolished.

In her article “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was”, author Hope Edelman claims that perhaps the ideal, balanced, and harmonious marriage that many couples yearn for is merely an unachievable myth. Edelman’s anger and frustration drives her essay as she recounts her childhood, analyzes societal gender roles, and narrates her own relationship in order to explore the concept of shared responsibility in a marriage.

In the article “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was.,” author Hope Edelman claims her husband does not put forth effort in their marriage. Edelman discusses the difficulties of parenting with a spouse who is seldom present and her misconception of marriage. In the article “My Problem With Her Anger,” author Eric Bartels claims his wife is angry with him all the time regardless of what he contributes to their family. Bartels discusses how the effort he puts forth in his marriage goes unappreciated and how he thinks his wife’s anger is negatively affecting their marriage. Bartels and Edelman both believe they entered marriage with unrealistic views resulting in dissatisfaction of marriage however, Edelman

Television psychologists and pop culture self-help gurus tell us that marriage is hard work; marriage is compromise; marriage is a choice between being right, and being happy. All of these statements are true. What these experts don’t tell us, however, is that marriage is also about putting on blinders, or looking on the bright side, or one of a hundred other trite phrases to explain the art of self-deception. In marriage, there are times when we may find it necessary to look the other way from our spouse’s faults or indiscretions, in the interest of self-preservation. For if we examine these problems too closely, our darkest, most secret fears may come true. Therefore, it can seem easier to focus on the positive. In her poem “Surprise,” Jane Kenyon uses denial, selective perception, and fear of betrayal to illustrate the self-deception that can occur in marriage.

In the national General Social Survey (GSS), more than one-third of the public agree with this statement: “It is much better for everyone involved if the man is the achiever outside the home and the woman takes care of the home and family.” Thus, the cultural belief of Woman’s Rights is (and is still) being used today. Though with it’s positive actions also comes with its strained bias and social issues. Women are often treated by men as “pure” and should be “protected”

Stephanie Coontz is a sociologist who is interested in marriage and the change in its structure over the time-span as love became a main proponent of the relationship involved in marriages. In her article, “What 's Love Got to Do With It,” Coontz argues that the more love becomes a part of the equation the less stable the institution of marriage becomes. Marriage at one point was a social contract that bound two families together to increase their property and wealth as well as ally connections. Each party entered into the contract knowing their roles and if one partner failed to meet the expectations, they were still contractually obligated to one another and were not allowed to divorce. As love became part of the equation, each partner was less sure of their obligations and often chose to end their marriages if at all possible.

When people commit to each other, they marry each other hoping that everything will go perfectly in their lives together. The hope that they will always get along and believe both spouses will do their fair share of the household responsibilities. For two employed spouses with children, they share the thought that no single guardian will have more responsibility for the children than the other parent. Eric Bartels, who writes for the Portland Tribune in Portland, Oregon, feels he has insight to what it is like to receive his wife’s irrational “rage”. Bartels tells his readers of the horrific anger which his wife puts on him. He feels this anger would be more appropriately dispensed upon other more deserving. While Bartels does a good job