The Negative Effects Of Having Children

We all have two choices in life: to live life joyfully or despondently. The choices we make define our future, which

“When people find it easy to imagine an event, they overestimate the likelihood that it will actually occur” (Gilbert, 2006, p.19.) Gilbert explains that this causes us to be overoptimistic about our futures and thus changes what we do in order to be happy. Young people imagine traveling the world, starting a successful business or becoming a star. Later on in one’s life they may realize that they do not have the funds to travel the world, the talent to become a star, or even the desire to start their own business. Perhaps they come to the conclusion that they would be happier starting a family or writing a book. Humans have an undeniable want to control. The reason somebody imagines the future is so they can do something about it (Gilbert, 2006, p. 21.) We imagine a future better than today so we can take the actions necessary to get to the better tomorrow. I imagined college being a whole lot better than high school. The freedom and the separation from my parents was something I wanted. So in order to get here I studied hard in high school, strove for a good ACT score, and applied to universities. The actions I took in high school were in order to control the future. Gilbert answers the question of “Why should we want to control our futures?” “It feels good to do so-period. Impact is rewarding. Mattering makes us happy. The act of steering one’s boat down the river of time is a source of pleasure, regardless of one’s port of call” (Gilbert,

I partially agree with Pangloss’s statement because we never know what the future holds for us and we can never predict our fate therefor what happens to you today (now) or what you have is the best you can get or have in your live. For example, considering

The way people decide and the actions they do determine how their life goes. The forces outside of our control do all the controlling in our destiny in my opinion. Anything at any given moment, anything could happen to you, whether it's good or bad. The point is that we don't know what's expected, so that means we have no control of what lies ahead of our lives. In ‘ A Lesson Before Dying, Ernest J. Gaines introduces a variety of characters with different ways of life.

A child recreates the mother-child exclusivity and allows women to return to their primary object-love unit – however, it interrupts it for men, who find themselves sidelined in the relationship.

As people always say, “Hindsight is 20/20”, but if we would look forward in time and plan instead of making gut decisions, making better decisions and choices would definitely be easier to do. Robert Frost said it best in his poem, “The Road Not Taken”, when he said, “Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim” (Frost). This shows that when Frost got to a fork in the road, he sat down and evaluated both options before making a selection. He looked at the path on the left and then the path on the right so he would know exactly which choice to make and how that choice would work for him. This applies to everybody. When there is a big choice to be made, we need to evaluate every option and then look into the future to see how the options will benefit us later. If at the time a choice seems perfect, but there is no future benefit, why make that choice? If everybody has a common goal to be the best person that they can be and to be as successful as they can in life, the choice that is made needs to be a thirty day or thirty year decision, not a thirty second decision.

People think that marriage is all about children but it is not. The choice is up to the adults whether or not they want to have children, According to the author. Some people have specific reasons as to why they do not want to have children such as not being ready or not knowing if they have what it takes to be a parent. Also they do not see the need that they should have children when they are already happy with one another as it is. “Childfree by Choice” by Kelly Welch explains it well as to why people do not need to have children.

According to data from the Urban Institute, birth rates among 20-year-old women declined 15% between 2007 and 2012. Research shows that only 1/3rd of couples are choosing to start families. There are many reasons as to why birthrates have decreased. For newlywed couples who are looking to start a family, money and debt may play a serious role. On the other hand, as more women graduate college the need for advancing in their career outweighs the need for children. For others, the idea of kids, in general, may be unsettling. Finally, there is a growing sentiment that having children may be the selfish thing to do.

According to the Department of Health and Human Services (2005), approximately 10% to 15% of couples would experience infertility in some form. Infertility occurs when a couple tries to have children without any success (Chandra, 2005). Though most cases of infertility can be attributed to physiological factors in one or both partners, it still has a psychological impact on the relationship. The psychological and mental effects of fertility are present in both men and women, but there are options to help a couple get through it.

Sometimes they will choose things that will make them unhappy in the end, and sometimes they will choose things that will make them feel great, and either way they will learn that their choices can impact what happens in their life.

The motto I like to live up to is; Things happen, and that’s life. Knowing this I never really have a solid idea of my future. Of course I like to imagine my future and what college I would go to, or what my apartment would look like, or even who I might end up with. But one tiny thing could change a big aspect of life, and I’m okay with that. You definity control your life and future even if you aren’t aware of your actions affecting it.

We all have our own destinies. Whether it's God's future planned for you, or your dreamt future.

I resonated with the idea that there are societal ideals at play in the expectation that couples should have babies. This strong social narrative is imbedded with values such as a “selflessness” that could come from being a parent. The video entitled Just the two of us: Childless by choice provides us with the perspective that some individuals do not feel this is the only way to be selfless. Another value in our culture is the narrative of all the joys of being a mother. While this could be very real, this narrative can bring disappointment to many mothers. The article by the Huffing post entitled Why Childfree Couples Have It All notes that “when a social role like motherhood is difficult, romantic myths need to surround it to keep it in

Every action and decision we make effects our life. Even the smallest paths in life can change the outcome of our future. This is referred to as the butterfly effect. So, how do we know if we are following our destiny and making the right decisions in life? We don’t, and personally, that terrifies me. The one value I live my life by is reaching a so called “nirvana” or a perfect state of happiness and peace with no suffering or pain.

Alicia – Compromises still happens every now and then, but earlier into our marriage is when most of the compromising took place. He’s given up stuff, I’ve given up things, and sometimes we negotiate. I don’t regret it because it was done to help us grow in the long run.