Theories Regarding Parenting Styles, Attachments, Bonds And The Relationships That Ensue

Everyone has an attachment style from which they developed in the first two years of their life. This attachment style tends to stay consistent with each person throughout their lifetime and affects their social-emotional development, and thus relationships with other people. Attachment styles greatly affect the choice one makes in life partners, and how they parent their own children. It is important for everyone to gain insight on their own attachment style if they are to know their emotional limits and how to strengthen their flaws in order to develop a better-self and stronger relationships with other people (Norcross, 2011). It is even more so important for caregivers to be aware of their attachment style and how sensitively available they are to the children in their lives. How the primary caregiver responds to the child’s needs, determines the attachment style the child will acquire. To develop a secure attachment the child needs to establish confidence in a reliable caregiver. In this paper I will be talking about the behaviors and interactions that I observed while watching the film “Babies”, and what attachment styles may be formed as a result of those interactions.

John Bowlby’s work in attachment has been the foundation when determining the attcahments and bonds that a child and parent may experience (Webb, 2011). According to Bowlby, “attachment” is referring to a lasting, mutual bond of affection that is dependent on an individual or more than one person (Webb, 2011). Establishing a secure attachment during infancy and early childhood is an important task of a parent or a caregiver. Not all parents or caregivers can provide their child with a secure attachment at this important in life due to various reasons. Since parents are the main providers in their child’s development of attachment, their lives and history has a great influence on their children’s lives.

' (Haith, 2014b, p. 466) Although a secure attachment does not occur from birth, ‘babies show signs of attachment through smiling, eye contact and crying. ' (Brandon et al., 2015) This shows the child 's main caregiver needs to begin to bond with their child for them to form a secure attachment. Bowlby believed ‘caregivers who neglect their children, bring up avoidant children. ' (Larose, & Bernier, 2001, p. 96-120). ‘Ambivalent/resistant children show negative behaviours to gain attention from others. ' (Kobak et al., 1993, p. 231-245) These statements show children who have an insecure attachment with their caregiver have a risk in behaviour problems. They will also have a less chance of developing their social and emotional skills effectively.

A healthy or secure attachment develops over time because of a caregiver’s consistent, sensitive care that they have towards a young child. Each time a caregiver interacts in ways that focus fully on the individual child, it furthers connections. When a caregiver attempts to read a baby’s cues and tries to respond to the child’s needs and wishes, the baby learns the caregiver is a source of comfort and security. Children with secure attachments learn that their world is a safe place because the people in it are caring and understanding. They also learn that their ways of communicating result in others responding and understanding them. This reinforces their efforts to continue to express themselves to others. Consistent back-and-forth exchanges that happen over time are one of the ways to build positive relationships. Children with secure attachments feel confident in exploring their environment, which allows them to learn. It’s the accumulation of intimacy during these numerous interactions that turns ordinary tasks into a relationship-based curriculum.

Infant attachment is the first relationship a child experiences and is crucial to the child’s survival (BOOK). A mother’s response to her child will yield either a secure bond or insecurity with the infant. Parents who respond “more sensitively and responsively to the child’s distress” establish a secure bond faster than “parents of insecure children”. (Attachment and Emotion, page 475) The quality of the attachment has “profound implications for the child’s feelings of security and capacity to form trusting relationships” (Book). Simply stated, a positive early attachment will likely yield positive physical, socio-emotional, and cognitive development for the child. (BOOK)

Although secure attachment during infancy is the foundation for continued healthy positive development during the lifespan, it is important to understand that other factors can have a significant effect on development later in life (i.e. illness, loss, and trauma). However, research has shown the importance of consistent care giving that is responsive and nurturing and the caregivers’ ability to effectively accommodate more difficult temperament characteristics ,as well as other factors, influence the development of healthy attachment{{64 Bakermans-Kranenburg, Marian 2003}}. Research has also shown that infancy and early childhood is the period of development where scaffolding begins and continues (Vygotsky, 1978; Zhao & Orey,1999).

The majority of developmental theories say that children must develop a secure primary attachment in order to develop in a healthy manner. A secure and strong attachment is clearly essential for healthy future relationships. John Bowlby’s studies in childhood development led him to the conclusion that a strong attachment to a caregiver provides a necessary sense of security and foundation. Without such a relationship in place, Bowlby found that a great deal of developmental energy is expended in the search for stability and security. In general, those without such attachments are fearful and are less willing to seek out and learn from new

Attachment is a term used to describe the dependency relationship a child develops towards his or her primary caregivers. It is first observable during the latter half of the first year of life and develops progressively over the first four years of life. It is most readily observed in the behavior of children when they are sick, injured, tired, anxious, hungry or thirsty. Although early attachment research focused on the mother and infant, it is now generally accepted that children develop multiple attachment relationships. An ‘attachment figure’ is defined as someone who provides physical and emotional care has continuity and consistency in the child’s life, and who has an emotional investment in the child’s life. This can include parents (biological, foster, adopted), grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles, and alternate caregivers (e.g. child-care workers). Given that children are able to form multiple attachments, the question has been asked as to which attachment relationship is most influential on children’s developmental outcomes.

The concept of infant-mother attachment is as important to the child as the birth itself. The effect this relationship has on a child shall affect that child for its entire life. A secure attachment to the mother or a primary caregiver is imperative for a child’s development. Ainsworth’s study shows that a mother is responsive to her infant’s behavioral cues which will develop into a strong infant-mother attachment. This will result in a child who can easily, without stress, be separated from his mother and without any anxiety. Of course the study shows a child with a weak infant-mother relationship will lead to mistrust, anxiety, and will never really be that close with the mother. Without the

An infant with a secure attachment style has a natural bond with their parent, where they are able to trust them, at the same time leaving their side to discover and explore their surroundings. In an insecure/resistant attachment the relationship the child has with their mother or caregiver is very clingy, thus making them very upset once the caregiver is away. When the mother or caregiver is back they are not easily comforted and resist their effort in comforting them. In an insecure/avoidant attachment the infant is, “indifferent and seems to avoid the mother, they are as easily comforted by a stranger, as by their parent” (Siegler 2011, p.429). Lastly, the disorganized/disoriented attachment is another insecure attachment style in which the infant has no way of coping with stress making their behavior confusing or contradictory. Through these brief descriptions of the attachment theory, many researchers have defined the turning point in which each attachment definition can have an influence on one’s self esteem, well-being and their marital relationship.

Unfortunately, inadequate parenting can lead to insecure parent-infant attachments. John Bowlby’s (1969) attachment theory explains how the intergenerational transmission of relationship patterns across generations impacts a child’s ability to develop into a healthy adult. Bowlby believed that the parent’s mental representation of attachment influences the outcome of the infant-parent relationship. (Fonagy, Steele & Steele, 1991). Bowlby believed infants

Caregivers play a primary role in how a child may develop. The daily interaction between the caregiver and child continually changes the pathway in which the child may take. How the child is raised and the parenting style used is a significant influence on that development by affecting the relationship between parent and child. This supports the Attachment theory in which emphasizes relationship between the child and caregiver as a key factor in development.

In the first few months of life, the sole purpose of any child’s behaviour is to survive. This, more often than not, results in actions that reduce the risk of harm and increase the chances of longevity. Of these behaviours, some argue that the most influential is attachment behaviour. “Attachment behaviour is any form of behaviour that results in a person attaining or maintaining proximity to some other clearly identified individual who is conceived as better able to cope with the world”(Bowlby, 1982). Therefore, children will make an effort to stay close to and under the protection of their primary caregiver. According to Webster, “through interactions with their primary caregiver, the child develops expectations and understandings about the workings of relationships. These mental representations of relationships become internalized to the degree that they influence feelings, thought and behaviour automatically and unconsciously” (1999, p.6). Moreover, the response of the identified individual plays a huge role in the child’s perception of the outside world. If the caregiver responds to the child’s needs in a caring and protective manner, the child will feel safe and comfortable in his or her surroundings. If, on the other hand, the caregiver is often emotionally and/or physically unavailable, the child is likely to

Attachment theory is the idea that a child needs to form a close relationship with at least one primary caregiver. The theory proved that attachment is necessary to ensure successful social and emotional development in an infant. It is critical for this to occur in the child’s early infant years. However, failed to prove that this nurturing can only be given by a mother (Birns, 1999, p. 13). Many aspects of this theory grew out of psychoanalyst, John Bowlby’s research. There are several other factors that needed to be taken into account before the social worker reached a conclusion; such as issues surrounding poverty, social class and temperament. These factors, as well as an explanation of insecure attachment will be further explored in

Lastly, avoidant attached infants are untroubled when the caregiver leaves and returns. The infant wants to keep closeness to the caregiver but this attachment style lets the infant maintain closeness to the caregiver even in the face of rejection. In order to control their feelings of distress and to prevent more rejection, the infant may just give up on seeking closeness to the caregiver (Walsh, 2015).