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What Does Something Phony Mean To Me Essay

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My childhood was just like every other average child's. I wasn’t spoiled and I didn’t go on lavish vacations or anything. I was disciplined and I threw fits but never the less, I was loved.
Yes, almost all of my life I have felt like I could just disappear and I still struggle with this every single day. Since the first time I can remember my inner thoughts, I have always felt alone and like I could just disappear. Most my younger childhood, I stayed with my aunt and uncle or Meme and Papa because I got attention when I was with them so I always felt happy when I was around them. Making me felt like I mattered.
Something “phony” or “fake” that completely bothers me is when people act completely different when other people are around, versus
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Spreading joy and compliments gives me hope there is true and nice people left on this earth. I do see this trait in myself because I believe by spreading kindness, I could make someone’s day. You never know what battles people are fighting, so we should be aware of this and boost others up.

Yes, I frequently get caught up in a cycle or pattern of thought. I mean it when I say that is the way my thought process is every single day. Music seems to help me get unstuck, but not always. It makes life really difficult.
Yes I do think there are as many good people as there are bad, I just haven’t come across many. I believe just because of mistakes you have made, doesn’t make you a bad person, but how you change yourself from those determines what kind of person you are. The thing is about human nature that seems to want to make thing worse before getting better is the fact that we feel the need to hit rock bottom, or close to it, to make us realize we need to get up and get our stuff back together. Now digging myself out of a hole, well with my depression last year, I missed a lot of school, and therefore I would fall behind in work, then when i got a really low grade, I would try to work hard to get my grade back up, just like it has to get worse before we make it
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