What Makes A Man A Good Father?

Demographically, over 90% of the participants strongly agreed that fatherhood is crucial in our society. A little over 47% of fathers, that encouragement from the mothers of their children matters because of the obstacles they faced with finance, and their duties on the job. The final results of marital status statistics is over 80% married fathers, nine percent divorced, and six percent never married. One surprising statistic was 90% cohabitate with the mother and focal child (Glenn & Popenoe, 2006).

Fatherless homes in the black community is at 57.6% (NCF, 2017). One of many issues of a fatherless home is children have less structure and lack of discipline; i.e. Chicago. The children suffer the most. I believe children need both parents in the household to be complete (“not all”). I believe if women have father’s in their lives (a positive male figure at minimum) it could help their decision in choosing the right mate will help this issue.

The role of the father, a male figure in a child’s life is a very crucial role that has been diminishing over the years. An absent father can be defined in two ways; the father is physically not present, or the father is physically present, but emotionally present. To an adolescent, a father is an idolized figure, someone they look up to (Feud, 1921), thus when such a figure is an absent one, it can and will negatively affect a child’s development. Many of the problems we face in society today, such as crime and delinquency, poor academic achievement, divorce, drug use, early pregnancy and sexual activity can be attributed to fathers being absent during adolescent development (Popenoe, 1996; Whitehead, 1993). The percentage of

Due to problems arising out of bitter divorces, custody, and support battles fathers are ostracize out of their children’s life. Fathers are often looked at as the bad person when things go wrong and being the blame. Fathers are just as responsible for the child being born as the mother. Over the years fathers continue to fight for equal rights, mothers are looked at as the victims and often make false statements about the fathers to suit their own selfish needs. Accusations of sexual and child abuse by mothers of the noncustodial fathers are often found to be untrue.

Lowe Jr., W. (2000). Detriangulation of Absent Fathers in Single-Parent Black Families: Techniques of Imagery. American Journal of Family Therapy, 28(1), 29-40. doi:10.1080/019261800261798

The stereotype that African American fathers are not there for their children is a common misconception throughout America. The idea of absent African American fathers is fleeting because more people are beginning to shine light on the statistics of the real number of absent African American fathers. In fact, African American fathers are just as present as white fathers regardless of the relationship with the mother. The latest data finds that the stereotypical gender imbalance in this area doesn’t hold true, and dads are just as hands on when it comes to raising their children. For children between the ages of 5-18, 67% of fathers talk with their children about their day daily. This manner of conversation is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

A father’s role in a child’s life is extremely important when it comes to a child’s development. With so much emphasis placed on young black boys needing their fathers during crucial developmental ages, the rate of our young black girls growing up without fathers is staggering and overlooked. What is an absent father? The definition is quite simple; an absent father can be defined as a father who is not present in the life of their child whether it is physically, emotionally, or both. Although the absence of a father is detrimental in any child’s life, the absence of such in a young black girl’s life is even more crucial. The absent father in a black girl’s life leads to, in some cases, promiscuity and teenage pregnancy, poverty, and

1). This study used semi-formal interviews to collect research (Ransaw, pg. 7). The data was based on African American fathers (or step-fathers), between the ages of 18-52, living in an urban community in the Southwest U.S. Two of the fathers were Sunni Muslims, two were Nation of Islam Muslims, one was Catholic, three of the fathers were Methodist, and one was Baptist. The researchers took into account that the sample group may have been biased because religious men turned fathers are more likely to be involved in their children’s lives (Ransaw, pg. 18). Two were single fathers and one was also a grandfather. The majority of the fathers earned between $25,000 and $50,000 per year (Ransaw, pg. 8). They were rated on the Fathering Involvement Scale which is comprised of three components: first, the direct interaction with the child pertaining to caretaking and play. The second part is the ability to be physically and psychologically available for the child’s everyday needs, and the third factor involves being responsible for the child’s welfare and well-being (Pleck & Pleck,

(Smith, 1988, p. 270). High homicide rates, high suicide rates, few job options, high percentage of drop outs, and limited life plan continue to become more common within the adolescent male the belief that he must survive. In today’s generation, adolescent fathers may feel like if he plays an active role in the child’s life, then he will be an adult, but may also feel like he does not need to provide financial support to the mother. Because of an adolescent father’s fixated view of self, influenced by society, would only make sure he is in a “good” position. Social workers often put an emphasis on how the father grew up in a damaged household with little to no motivation to be an active father in the child’s life, whereas they should provide more assistance into helping him be a better person and the best father. With all of these challenges that adolescent fathers face, I begin to question, how much hope does society have for the African-American male and his

In Jennifer Hamer’s book of black fatherhood, she identifies a number of critical factors that contribute to the major increase in live-away fathers. First, there were men who were just not prepared to become a father. Scared with the thought of bringing another person into this world, they did not know what to do nor did they have a clue of how to care for a child. Some men fled immediately after knowing his partner was pregnant. Fatherhood was just something they did not want to be a part of and like all of their other problems in life, they continued to run from them. Unlike these men, some fathers actually stuck around during their partner’s pregnancy and even after the child’s birth. But it did not always last long. Many of these children were conceived while the parents were just dating and living in separate homes. Once they were pregnant, the couple decided to try living together for the birth of their offspring not doing so before. After a few months of having conflicts and commitment issues the relationship between the parents was eventually broken and the male decided that it was his time to leave his family, labeling him as a live-away father. Second, the education level of some black men prevented them from being able to obtain blue-collard employment causing them to struggle to provide not only for themselves, but for their child as well. This left the father feeling as if he were not financially stable to support a child and pushed him into parting ways from

When it comes to men in a family the expectations should be the same either black or white; be devoted to your family, ensure that the children are raised and educated right and learn to love and respect one another and their peers. The man is there for financial support, to protect the family, and show love for the wife and kids as well as encouragement. I think the reason why the role expectations for black fathers differs from white fathers is because the type of environment that each is raised in. More black men grow up in a single family home, most likely with the mother, never having a true male role model in the house. Men more than likely come and go in the house, and as the young become young adults themselves, they pretty much take on the same role as their fathers did. A less percentage of white males grow up in a single parent house, have both parents and a male role model to base their life off. Needless to say, both black and white fathers are capable of leaving their families, black seem more likely to because of jobs, not being able to hold a stable job, gang/drug related problems, true relationship was there so they don’t feel obligated to stay. In search for that “true love” relationship, men jump from relationship to relationship and will take care of the children they are in a current relationship with, thus abandoning the children from their previous relationships.

One individual stated, “There were times I felt helpless; fearing that I could not and would not measure up to the expectations” (Gadsden, “How growing Up Fatherless Can Impact Current Relationships”). Since he did not grow up with a father, he felt like he did not know how to raise a child properly and thought the child could be better off without him. Not only do men feel unfit to raise a child, but some women do too base on certain habits or traits they do not want to pass on to their child. Whether the individual is a mother or father, feelings of doubt in themselves can cause them to give up their

Growing up without a father or strong male role model in the United States is extremely difficult. Fatherless children are disadvantaged in American society and face a greater struggle to become successful in their personal, educational, and professional lives. The decline of fatherhood in one of the most unexpected and extraordinary trends of our time. Its dimensions can be captured in a single statistic: In just three decades, between 1960 and 1990, the percentage of children living apart from their

Becoming a father is a life changing experience. Most fathers will remember that one special day for the rest of their lives, while other fathers say the day their child was born was the day their life as they knew it was over. After sitting down and interviewing three different fathers who had three very different experiences before and after child birth my eyes have been opened to the multiple views, experiences, memories, and feelings these three gentlemen have experienced or will soon experience. Mr. Snyder who is currently awaiting the birth of his first child in the spring of 2015 was the first man I interviewed. Mr. Celso is the second man I interviewed. Mr. Celso and his wife experienced a very emotional and nerve wrecking pregnancy and birth of their two 4 month old twins. Lastly, Mr. Shipley was the last man I interviewed. Mr. Shipley is a father of a one year old boy. Mr. Shipley’s experience of the birth of his child was much different then the other two gentlemen given that Mr. Shipley and the mother of his son are not in any type of relationship, nor were they during their child’s birth. Each of these men shared a lot of similarities as well as an abundance of differences regarding their children and soon to be children.

When a father and a daughter have a healthy relationship, usually it is ignored and seen as unimportant. This is a really critical factor that influences many things in a girl’s life. Three main topics influence a girl’s mate choice. Genes, the ability to provide, and a good father figure are all significant when a woman chooses her spouse (Lu, Zhu, & Chang, 2015). A man’s ability to be a good father is significant because it will reflect the relationship she had with her father. When a girl has a good role model for a father, and their relationship is strong, it is used as a model when looking for a potential father for her children (Lu, Zhu, & Chang,