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BHIND THE SHILED

Decent Essays

BEHIND THE SHILED is a police drama that sends strong messages about the challenges that face law enforcement. The messages are relevant and the events in the script are similar to real life recent events involving civilians and law enforcement.

The story focuses on four cops patrolling the streets with the lead character of O’Donnell being a veteran cop struggling with both professional and personal issues. The script does a good job of showing what patrol officers go through. It’s similar to the film END OF WATCH.

While the messages are well appreciated, the script could use more development.

One concern is the that there’s no real actionable or external goal for the main character of O’Donnell. There’s no strong hook. It’s not until page 86 that the issue or complaint about police brutality is introduced and …show more content…

Remember, the protagonist needs to drive the story.

The dialogue has strengths and weaknesses. The dialogue nicely conveys the message about the lives of police officers. It does push an agenda, so be careful of sounding too preachy. Sometimes there too much dialogue. On page 98, the dialogue needs to be broken up vs. long passages. It’s a bit challenging to believe that O’Donnell would also be so sarcastic towards the DA when questioned. He’s a veteran cop, so he probably wouldn’t be so disrespectful.

Finally, there are numerous formatting errors and some misspellings. These issues to affect the read and the pace. The formatting isn’t properly aligned or spaced. There should be no space in-between the character element and the dialogue. There are too many spaces between the narrative descriptions and the character elements (example page 1). There are several missing scene headings when the characters go to a new location or get out of a car, (page 2). Introduce a character properly (i.e. age) when first introduced. There’s wrong dialogue formatting on page

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