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Creative Writing: A Day At The Drug Bridge

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I am met by a spectacular parade of freaks: the clowns, the ninjas, the naked, the hatchet-men, the demons. I stare directly into the faces of the outcast and misunderstood and they don’t give a fuck, only a “Whoop! Whoop!” Days earlier, I boarded the ferry to cross over the Ohio River into Hogrock. It offers amnesty from chaos that lay ahead. “Where you’re going,” the Captain said, “there will be twenty thousand or so, of the most misunderstood and hated people on earth. It’s an anything-goes island of debauchery, speed-rapping, demonic clowns, copulation, and drugs. It’s Shangri la.” Instantly I question my assignment. This will prove to be one of the last coherent conversations I have for the next five days. From this point on–almost …show more content…

One makeshift sign declares, “I’ve got the shit that killed Michael Jackson”. The atmosphere is part Farmer’s Market, part illegal drug concourse. According to my observations, roxy, oxy, LSD, mushrooms, hash oil, hash, weed, Special K, cocaine, meth, mescaline, ecstasy, molly, opium, morphine, Vicodin, and Percocet are free to sell it all without penalty. Mayne picks up cocaine, and roxy. And LSD. The megaphones are deafening. When asked why there is no police presence at The Gathering, Sherriff Thomas Slayman issues the following statement: "Would you want to take five people into that campground and start making drug arrests? I was raised very conservative and I am a Christian and that’s who I am. I also believe in America and the Constitution and that everyone has rights. Including the right to gobble hallucinogenics and wander around naked.” The Love Train, filled to max capacity, passes by and disappears around the bend. “Whooooooop! Whooooop!” “You know what that is, right?” Mayne …show more content…

The accused, Phantom is on trial for committing one of the most serious offenses under Juggalo law, theft. Phantom has allegedly stolen Hemlox’s (with an x) lawn chair. Both cases are delivered, and both sides rest. Following a short deliberation by a jury of their peers, a verdict comes in. “Guilty”, declares the judge. “Whoop! Whoop!” The bailiff leads him off to the Wheel of Bone, to determine his punishment. Unsatisfied, the mob madly chants, “Fuck His Car”, “Fuck His Car”. I find myself wanting to fuck his car too. The Wheel of Bone ignored, we move wildly for the exits in pursuit of a red Chevy Lumina. Tennessee plates. The Illinois Post will later run a story that includes the following: people punched, pockets picked, children missing, rappers shot, ninjas stabbed, and one fucked Chevy Lumina. I can only attest to the Lumina. We take the remaining LSD atop the Ferris wheel. Suddenly the ride stops. Starts. Stops. Sixty feet below, a girl has simultaneously taken PCP and acid. She commandeers the controls for her own personal game of PONG. Once down, we decide we are ready to follow the gravel trails to the main stage. We make our way through the

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