Essay Cynical Classification of Sexual Partners

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Cynical Classification of Sexual Partners


When any thought of cynicism arises, it conjures an image of bitter thirty something divorcees, single alcoholic fathers, or disillusioned old maids. However, this disease is rampant now among "Gen X'ers", and it is certainly no surprise with the miasma of food, cars, money, drugs, and of course sex that assaults early twenties men and women with the frenetic pace of a moving el-train. Yet there is no better example of the reason for American youths cynicism than the meager choice of sex partners in the nineties. The problem is not quantity, but most definitely quality. Sexual partners, especially for women fall into three categories: the mechanical, the sensitive, and the "Oh (My God What Have
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His lovemaking is as choreographed as a broadway musical. He takes exactly three minutes time on each major erogenous zone, removing clothing with each step, yet somehow deftly removing his own clothing as well. He can unhook any type of bra, blindfolded, in the dark with just his teeth. Now comes the inevitable penetration which always lasts exactly fifteen minutes. There is no, "Did you ?" because he naturally assumes, "of course you did." Afterwards he talks for exactly two minutes then falls asleep on your pillow. When you wake in the morning there is no evidence of his presence except a rose on your pillow with a note that says, "talk to you soon," but don't count on it. In fact, the only time you ever hear of him again is when you find out he was with your best friend the previous weekend.

Next on the list of losers is the sensitive man. You meet Mr. Sensitive at a private gathering; he wouldn't be caught dead at anything as gauche as a club. He has careless hair and an air of " what's the point" about his appearance. He is not necessarily beautiful in a conventional sense but he is immediately intriguing. Mr. Sensitive hasn't much to say, he is rather bored with the whole contemptuous affair. His gaze makes you feel as though your emotions and thoughts are written on your forehead in neon. Goaded by a sick sense of self-destruction, you can not help but attempt to draw him out repeatedly(and…