Expectancy and Role Conflicts Illustrated in Everybody Loves Raymond

Like Stephen R. Covey once said, “most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply” (Stephen Covey). Most people do not try to see things in the point pf view of others, they like to jump to conclusion. Conflict is an interaction between interdependent people who perceive that they have contradictory goals or scare resources. The more important the relationship is, the more important the conflict is.

What is conflict? Even something as basic as a universal definition for the word conflict seems to vary from source to source. A literature review focusing on conflict defined it as “the interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatibility and the possibility of interference from others as a result of this incompatibility” (Brinkert 2010). Often times the disagreement results not from a concrete difference, but rather a difference in perception (Ellis & Abbott 2012). One of the most important factors effecting conflict management is the resolution style used. The most often used tool for classifying how conflict is managed is the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (Iglesias & Vallejo 2012).

Communication in conflict can be both constructive and destructive. Those who communicate constructively, or productively, emphasize both themselves and

We blame ourselves, and then we start to question our likability, and we wonder why we don't have that fantasy group of friends that everybody else in the world must have. Conflict is a process in which people disagree over significant issues, thereby creating friction (Lulofs & Cahn, 2000). This is not a simple occurrence, but there needs to be various factors included for it to be considered a conflict. Both parties must have opposing interests, thoughts, perceptions, and feelings, and they must then recognize the existence of different points of view (Lulofs & Cahn, 2000). In addition, the disagreement is not just a one time event but something that continuously occurs. Though it can be destructive it can also be beneficial, for example a relationship with little to no conflict leads to complacency but a relationship with too much conflict can lead to dysfunctional behaviors by both

Comparing relationships to unicycles seems strange or unlikely, however the constant strive for balance against opposing forces is a perfect description for relational dialectics theory (Griffin, 2009). Barbara Montgomery, an interpersonal communication scholar, describes riding a unicycle as a task of contradicting forces, constantly pulling against each other in a tug-of-war motion. The best way to control the wheel is by the constant changes in movement, adapting one way or the other, to maintain control over the fall (Griffin).

This has been an interesting week of personal reflection as I have been introduced to the concept of conflict. It is not that I was unaware that conflict exists but I cannot say that I have given it much thought other than how can we avoid it in our family. While reading about the escalation cycles of conflict in the textbook I was taken back to the patterns that developed between myself and my ex-husband. I found the description of one’s health often being compromised due to conflict to be an accurate assessment of the effects long term conflict had on me personally during my first marriage. I can see looking back now how the daily conflict regarding every conversation and decision negatively impacted my health and left me on blood pressure

From the intimate relationship book by Miller the outcomes of conflict are as follows; separation which involves partners withdrawing away from the issue leaving the conflict unresolved, domination whereby there is a dominant partner who gets his or her way, compromise in which both individuals come to a lower level than they were and end in a mutual understanding, integrative agreements to satisfy every individual in the relationship goal by being flexible and creative and structural improvement in that after individual gets what they require they grow and learn to make changes that suit them both. Separation is the most outcome of conflict I have witnessed.

Conflict is “an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals” (Hocker, 1991). There are two basic types of conflicts: substantive and emotional. According to Schermerhorn et.al., substantive conflict is a fundamental disagreement over ends or goals to be pursued and the means for their

Rahim (2011) defined conflict as a social interactive process that involves disagreements or dissension within or between individual, group or organization. Describing conflict as an interactive process does not mean that there are no possibilities of intraindividual conflict. It is clear that at times a person might interact with himself or herself. Although the definition of conflict is varied, there are four elements that commonly describe conflict. First, conflict comprises opposing interests between individuals or group. Second, the opposed interest must be recognized for a conflict to exist between two or more social entities. Third, conflict comprises beliefs by each side. Forth, it is a process that creates out of existing relationships

Conflict is a subject I really don’t care for, as I believe many don’t. It’s not pleasant most times and can be uncomfortable as mentioned in Interpersonal Skills in Organization. Although conflict is not something any of us like to deal with, unfortunately it is a natural part of life, and it is important to know how to address it. We find that controlling our tempers, communicating effectively, and keeping an open mind can make a huge difference. These points were helpful for me since I often times don’t know how to handle conflict when it comes to certain situations, and many times have ignored it with the hope that it would eventually go

One of the hardest parts of managing conflict is to identify and achieve the personal goals and interests of each party involved. According to Hocker & Wilmont (2014), “all conflicts hinge upon the fact that people perceive that there are incompatible goals help by at least two people who are interfering with what the other person wants” (p. 73). It’s difficult enough to identify one’s own goals regarding conflict, let alone attempt to understand goals or interests of the other parties involved as well. In a similar fashion, whatever it is that we want from others doesn’t necessarily coincide with the other person’s desires or expectations as goals may differ depending on the relationship with the other person (or people)

There are four distinct conflict styles which are the levels of assertiveness and cooperativeness that are employed by a person in a conflict situation. Everyone has their own individual conflict style; my own style tends to be accommodating. This means that I am not very assertive and I am very good at cooperating with those I am in conflict with. In this essay I will examine each conflict style and my own choice of style and why I tend to default to this style. I will also examine whether or not my choice of the accommodating style is the best approach to resolving conflict, and discuss the advantages of learning to use each of the styles in specific situations.

In the novel, hostility escalates between Nick and Amy as loud arguments over their economic instability become a daily occurrence. Amy says, “Don’t land me in one of those relationships where we’re always pecking at each other, disguising insults as jokes,” but she lands herself in the exact situation (Flynn 154). However, when Amy finds out about her husband’s infidelity, aggression transforms into violence. It is revealed that Amy intended to frame Nick for her murder all along. When Amy’s complex scheme does not go according to plan, she realizes the only way to escape her predicament is to enlist the help of her former high school sweetheart, Desi Colllings. In one of the most gruesome scenes of the book, Amy murders Desi in an attempt to frame him for her apparent kidnapping (Flynn 236). This act marks the pinnacle of how inert resentment can lead someone to very violent aggression upon even people who are not

Wilmot and Hocker have stated in the Seventh Edition of Interpersonal Conflict that “[c]onflict is more than a disagreement; it is when people believe that another interferes with their interests and goals” (p. 62). When considering conflict, interests and goals are considered the same thing. There are four general types of interests and goals which are topic or content, relational, identity (or facework), and process; these together are easily remembered by using the acronym TRIP(Wilmot, 2007. p.63). To better describe and explain these types of goals, the following personal conflict will be used.

Conflict is in inevitable part of our everyday lives. Since no two people view things in the exact same manner, disagreement will most certainly arise at some point in time. Conflict is simply a difference of opinion and is considered to be a normal part of our everyday lives. There are several different forms of conflict and not all of them are considered to be bad. This paper will discuss the causes of conflict, the different types of conflict, and barriers to conflict. According to Communication Research Associates, conflict is a condition of imbalance within an individual (Communication Research Associates, 2005, p. 178). Keep in mind that just as there are disadvantages to conflict, there are also several advantages.