HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE
Table of contents
Introduction:
Counselling: can it save your marriage?
Understanding your partner’s emotional needs
Working together to save your marriage
Chapter 1: Communication
Constructive communication
Conflict resolution strategies
Positive talk and actions
Forgive and be forgiven
Chapter 2: Overcoming problems
Recovery from an affair
Dealing with financial stress
Analyse your anger
Creating harmony in your relationship
Your relationship and your responsibilities: finding balance
Making second chances work: recovering from past relationships
Eliminating outside interference
Chapter 3: Reconnect
Reduce tension
Rebuilding mutual respect
The importance of having fun
Share goals and your vision for
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When should couples consult a counsellor?
Researchers have found that the primary problems experienced by couples are loss of connection and high levels of conflict. Counsellors agree that the sooner problems are attended to, the better. On average, most couples will have experienced problems for 6 years before considering counselling as an option. A quicker response time would reduce the amount of behavioural habituation that needs to be overcome.
How does it work?
The goal of counselling is not to present ready-made solutions, but to equip the couple with the tools they need to overcome their problems. The therapist interviews the couple together and sometimes requests individual interviews, then gives feedback. During a counselling program, couples should begin to notice minor but significant positive changes on a day to day basis. The basis of this success is mutual learning about and accommodation of each other’s perspectives.
Professional counsellors won’t take sides, will respect both partners and will strive for a calm atmosphere in which each participant has an opportunity to speak and air their views.
Sometimes one of the marriage partners is unwilling to undergo couples counselling, but the remaining partner can still benefit from relationship counselling and in time, persuade their
Gurman, A. S. (2008). Clinical handbook of couple therapy (4th ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
The therapists place is to help the couple restore the relationship as much as possible. The therapist also will want to create a loving connection in which all the needs of the couple are met. The problems are not able to be solved in such a relationship, other than the framework (Hendrix,
Counselling based on a conversation, it’s a where people may interact and exchange possibilities for a greater action. The purpose is to find the right setting to allow the client to open up and take the first steps in immediate and long range
Cognitive behavioral therapy partner has focused on the detailed analysis of everyday conflicts that can lead to the breakdown of the relationship; it has been raised how problems arise, and how they are maintained. It has identified a feature which is associated with them generally, a predominance of negative interactions on positive. With the obvious aim of achieving an effective intervention, it has raised the ways to overcome them focusing on increasing the exchange of positive behaviors and improving communication and problem solving.
In today's world more and more people are experiencing life struggles when it comes to family. These issues can range from problems in a marriage, how to deal with your children issues and understand yourself and how to deal with your family and certain issues. The area of marriage and family counseling/therapy has had an out break over the past decade. The counselors are expected to work effectively with families experiencing a variety of issues and problems. In marriage and family therapy/counseling there are so many different types of techniques that are out there but should be used and looked upon not a cure, but a method to help mobilize the family.
Lebow (2006) stated that currently couples therapy is on a roll more than it was 20 years ago, as it has become more accepted by the general public. This article revealed some unique insight into different aspects of why some couples are satisfied, or succeed at remaining together and why some couples are not satisfied, or do not remain together. Learning information from an article of this nature would benefit me as a marriage counselor because I feel it would be important to know what new advances are being
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy focusses on the feelings that impact behavior. The importance is on receptiveness of the couple to the emotional needs that arise when discussing their issues and finding solutions to the conflicts. A couple is helped to recognize and understand their connection and need for attachment. This therapy is centered on the theory that couples childhood experiences strongly influence the couple’s behavior in the relationship. In order for this therapy to be effective the professionals in the human service field must be competent in many facets. They must be able to use non-verbal and verbal skills of communication, use reflective techniques and ask closed and open ended questions. In addition the counselor
There are a series of steps involved in integrated systemic couples therapy (Goldman & Greenberg, 1992). First, the therapist and the couple define the issue. A negative cycle is determined, but not necessarily by the couple; the therapist could determine the negative cycle instead. The therapist and couple come together to restructure that negative cycle, and try to redefine the problem with a positive spin. The important aspect of integrated systemic therapy is that the therapist encourages the couple to progress at their own pace (Goldman & Greenberg, 1992). Restraint is a key component because it allows the couples examine their actions, as opposed to rushing into
When you feel your marriage life is disturbing and have differences in their relationship then couples can consult licensed therapists who will help to build the relationship strong with trust by treatment. The therapist will conduct counseling to the couple and explains how they ruined happy life with simple misunderstandings. It is like marriage counseling to make their bond strong.
Counseling can be very beneficial for one or both parties. I've done it a few yrs. back and it was the best thing. It helped me realize that what I can control, I do, and what I can't, I learn how to cope with certain situations--example, flares, blockages, depressed b/c I can't go out with friends, etc. Now I don't freak out as much or take out my frustrations on my husband. I focus my stressful energy in writing about how I feel. It even brings a laugh or
This article gave detailed knowledge of two couple therapies; the Traditional Behavior Couple Therapy (TBCT) and the Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT). 12 studies were done over a period of time on both therapies where they described and compared their short and long term effectiveness in treating marital distress. The article went in depth over the results of both of these therapies, discussing what changes the therapies would lead to in the course of treatment. It also discussed the advantages that one therapy had over the other, the therapy’s focuses, how fast or slow couples improved while in treatment, the couple’s communication after therapy, and the relationship outcome of the couples that had therapy. The article discusses the importance of feedback during the therapy
Many couples experiencing relationship distress choose not to seek therapeutic help. “Recent estimates founded that only 19% of intact couples seek any type of counseling or therapy for their relationship and that only 37% of divorced couples sought any couple therapy prior to divorcing” (Cicila, Georgia, & Doss, 2014). Reasons why couples decide not to seek treatment are because of the perceived stigma associated with therapy, financial burden, and logistical concerns, such as difficulty scheduling appointments or finding transportation to appointments (Cicila et al., 2014). These findings show couples would rather keep issues between themselves than talk to a therapist who has the skills and expertise in marital discord.
I enjoyed reading your interpretation of the Wilson’s case study, and your integrative approach of combining Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) with Relationship Enhancement (RE) skills. One of the things I struggle with is the notion of suggestion from the counselor’s role. While I certainly agree that it is best for individuals to make realizations on their own, I often consider that many people, particularly struggling couples, are seeking counseling because they just don’t know what to do. When utilizing RE, counselors help couples build skills, such as communication, conflict resolution, and empathetic (Wetcheler & Hecker, 2015). Hinkle, Radomski, and Decker (2015) identified experiential activities that counselors can incorporate
The goal of the counselor is to promote spouses change in cognitive structures, and environmental structures focusing on areas of behavior, physical and social environment. When using techniques to help aid in change it is imperative to explain the technique being used and ways that it will promote change for the couple. The use of techniques helps to increase couple’s awareness of the problem, break old behavior patterns, and build new behavior pattern (Worthington Jr., 1989). Change has to not only occur in counseling but outside of
The establishment a relationship is commonly the easy part; it's sustaining the relationship that gets complicated. That's why an ever growing number of couples (married or otherwise) are finding that couples therapy may be a good proactive process against the difficult times that will undoubtedly hit. The following practices may be beneficial in maintaining a happy and healthy relationship.