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I 've Been Feeling Like A Beta Author Who Supplies Occasional Story

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As you know, I’ve been feeling like a beta author who supplies occasional story ideas and grammatical and stylistic edits to our fics, rather than a full-fledged co-creator. We both know that many of my feelings are irrational, and are deeply rooted in my own insecurities in my worth as an independent human being. However, the fact is that I feel the way I do, no matter how absurd these feelings may seem to you and me. I do think that at least some of these feelings have tangible sources that, if you’ll permit me, I will attempt to explain.
The crux of my feelings concerns the entire premise of our fictional series. When we first started writing, we did so purely for fun, and to make ourselves happy. We indulged in our fancies without any restrictions, and though we were embarrassed to confess our secret pleasure to others, we had the freedom to be wild and inventive and simply write for the sake of experiencing relationships and emotions against a canvass of creative thought. But now, the stories have become a spiritual endeavor. Their purpose has evolved from pure fun and games into a process that is supposed to bring us closer to God, and to uplift everyone around us. This purpose is pure, good, and noble, so it has been difficult to explain why this new paradigm of story-making has left me feeling so trapped.
To be honest, when you first proposed dedicating our stories to Gurudev, and to making the premise of our universe a spiritual one, my first instinct was to

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