preview

Its Just Me Know: Life After The Death of My Spouse

Decent Essays

It is just me now! The turkey and trimmings are now in the refrigerator awaiting their second coming. The chocolates and the brandy no longer in sight, waiting to reappear at our waist line. Our parents, in-laws, all the adult children and their children have returned home leaving us with many so fond memories but with an empty house. Where only a short time ago my house was truly a home, it now shelters only me. The now empty space shows still the remnants of love and companionship. The decorated tree is still standing, but is now barren of the decorated gifts beneath its green wings. The long table recently laden with nourishment, surrounded by conversation, laughter and reminisces of the year has bid final farewell sits empty now. My shoes are no longer crowded at the front door, I would wish it was still. Reality has returned, the joy of Christmas now appears as an artificial effect. Loneliness has been identified as the absence of an emotionally meaningful relationship. You do not fully understand the trauma of loneliness until you lose someone whose presence has come to mean a lot to you. It is like a vice around your chest—every breath unwanted, agonizing. For days the heaviness weighs down and you have absolutely no interest in anything. There was absolutely no appetite for anything, it is like a recurring nightmare. It’s unreal, yet the truth of it keeps pounding in your head. There is no longer any real purpose to anything, no one to share the odd little things

Get Access