Marriage Guidelines - How to Arrange Marriage in India

Lack of communication is a main reason Mr. and Mrs. Das are suffering from a loveless marriage. The importance of communication and marriage go hand-in-hand.

The book mentions about the mental confusions, insecurities and the effort to understand their spouses. The writer has expressed simple and usual emotions of a womanhood, fidelity and family. A tint of Indian culture is reflected in each chapter indicating how a bridegroom and groom select each other, the nature of an Indian woman and how she takes up challenges in her life, reconciling the roles of a daughter, an ex-wife, a wife and a mother, the strength of the human spirit and their passion to survive and fight for a good life. It also features the distinctive qualities of Indian relatives highlighting their interest in an individual’s marital life and how offensive it is to the society to find a married woman talking to an unknown man. The book also focuses on the pain of a mother to see her unhealthy

First of all, every culture has different customs implemented on its community. This is especially evident in “Matrimony with a Proper Stranger”, which details the circumstances of arranged marriage and its application in Indian life.

The first wife become the head wife and holds the greatest status, but the last or recent wife is the favorite; probably because, the recent woman is young and attractive to the man at the time. Once the man married his first wife, mate selection for her husband becomes her responsibility. The man ask his wife to propose marriage to a woman he admire. On the other hand, the sees a beautiful and hard working girl and she propose marriage on behave of her husband. The woman justified that the house work is too much for her and that she needs a help mate.

and Mrs. Das that is completely different from the life of Indian husband and wife. In India, we see that husband and wife don’t express their emotions for each other but in it doesn’t mean they don’t have the emotions or feelings. Though they don’t express themselves apparently, but they keep a strong intimacy, attachment for each other which is beyond the limitation. But in the case of Mr. and Mrs. Das, we see that they are quite frank, behave with their children like an elder brother and sister, not like parents. On the apparent level they have great intimacy but as the story unfolds, it becomes clear that they lack the emotional attachment especially from the side of Mrs. Das as she is suffering from a guilt consciousness with which Mr. Das is completely unaware of. She even finds Mr. Kapasi as a suitable person to talk about her past instead of her husband. Interestingly enough, the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Das was not an arrange marriage, rather Mrs. Das had fallen in love with Mr. Das at a young age and later they got married with the permission of their respective families but it can’t be called a typical arranged marriage. Even Mrs. Das frankly talks to Mr. Kapasi about her sexual relation with Mr. Das. This was quite unusual for a person like Mr. Kapasi, who has never seen his wife naked. Even he does not approve the infidelity which Mrs. Das has committed though his own marriage was not a happy

The discovering of this study indicates that the raises in divorce rates however do not impact the charges on marriages in in every single place the world. And hypothesis of this research predict no influence on the charges of marriages , on this research quite a few sources have been used to accumulate the information on populations and divorce delivery, and illegitimacy(the condition of being born to unmarried mom and dad) charges of the state . Information for the research were gathered for the years 1950—2002, involving prior state marriage, divorce, and start premiums for a lot of international locations. The outcome of be trained don't come into sight to be

Should arranged marriages still be acceptable around the world ? According to Arranging a Marriage in india, “ How could any intelligent young person agree to such a marriage without great reluctance? It was contrary to everything I believed about the importance of romantic love as the only basis of a happy marriage?” Marriage is a human choice and should be a wonderful time in someones life, however the reasons for marrying have varied extensively from time to time and culture to culture. In many cases marrying was mostly an economic decision which helped pick out the suitor that the family could find for the daughter. In some cultures a man's economic stance was based on the size of his belongings or the number of spouses that he maintained.

In a very small percentage of marriages that may be the case but it is not typical. Young people of the region understand that their parents know them better than anybody else and trust their choices. Matchmakers are a common practice in locating suitable mates. The traditional matchmaker in India is referred to as a Nayan. Normally, the nayan is a person that is familiar with the family and could be an involved friend or extended family member. They carry two basic roles: primarily as a locator of leads in relation to matches and secondary as one who negotiates among the family of the two parties involved. Several factors are taken into considering when attempting to locate suitable matches. The two main factors are the social standing of the family of the bride or groom along with reputation and also the dowry involved. When the two parties come to mutual terms regarding the marriage, the nayan can be of assistance in wedding planning and announcements in the community. They are not paid but welcome gifts in exchange for their services performed after the match is made. In modern times with social networking, internet sites are a very common tool used in the search. Control is still in the hands of the parents in suitable choices and it is quite possible for the bride and groom to not even meet prior to their engagement festivities.

Therefore, this research will highlight importance of counselling on the married couple in having a stable marriage. Although, many married couple have experienced marital instability resulting from a number of factors, notably, economic, personality, psychological and socio –cultural. Despite the fact that the attitude either married women or men could be negative or positive depending on their individual circumstance. Most homes nowadays experience instability in one way or the other. Counselling has played a serious role as it influences the couples output to life including their educational status and social well-being. But if the couples are not helped, it could retard their progress at work, and also hinders them from imbibing the right attitude to life. Conversely, stability in marriage is very crucial in bringing about commitment on the husband and wife in particular in caring for their children’s upbringing and discipline. Then, for the married couple to be happy in their marriage, it is of necessity to correct some of their

Depending on the parents, qualifications can consist of areas such as age, physical features, beliefs, occupation and much more. For example, in one situation, a sister and brother-in-law invited correspondences from North Indian professionals only and preferred that the man be an immigrant doctor who was between 26-29 years, for their relative. (Nanda 623). Sometimes the bride and groom will meet one time for a brief conversation, but in most cases the bride and groom’s first appearance of each other is at their wedding (Nanda 624). However, some parents are becoming more lenient in this area and allowing their son or daughter to meet at least one time before making any final marital arrangements to see if the two individuals are in agreement to get married to one another. This is not like a date in the United States where a couple goes out to dinner and to a movie and hangs out. This is more like a formal meeting, chaperoned by a guardian. It is sometimes classified as “having tea” together. As Americans, we probably think this is an absurd way of getting married but those in India find arranged marriages by their parents very satisfying and a better way to choose a spouse.

One of the main causes that marriages are not lasting is the change in the roles of woman today. Prior to the 1980’s it was the man’s responsibility to earn money and financially provide for his family, whereas the

Arranged marriages are set up by friends and family, and sometimes by a matchmaker that sets up the marriage. But the bride’s father has the most responsibility in arranging marriage for his daughter, and is the one who approaches the father of a potential bridegroom. Important aspects when considering a possible match are financial status, caste, and the bride and bridegrooms horoscopes matching. The role of astrology is important, and if a Hindu priest finds that the horoscopes of the potential spouses do not match, they will not marry, and must begin the search all over again (Livermore, 2009). India’s view of marriage first and then love is very different from the Western view where love comes before marriage, seems to be successful. The

“Made in heaven, found on earth - marriages are a new beginning according to some and the final end for others” (“Arranged Marriage”, 2009). Marriage is religiously and socially a huge responsibility and its failure could affect societies negatively. Arranged marriages are planned by families, when the bride and the groom are chosen either randomly from a wedding or by family relatives. Especially in the Gulf countries, certain families consider such marriages of high social importance. Arranged marriages in this region have a low expectancy of success. Forced marriages, short engagements and incompatibility between potential couples are the main causes of divorce in arranged marriages in the Gulf region.

Generally speaking, the words arranged marriage evokes fear or even anger in one’s heart. For various amounts of people, especially those with a western mindset, the liberty to choose one’s own spouse remains utterly important and even a human right in our society today. While I strongly believe that every human owns the freedom to choose whether they want to marry someone, I also believe misconceptions form in some mind’s when the words, “arranged marriages” are spoken. While not all arranged marriages remain sincere and fair in the world today, marriages guided by parents with willing children often produce healthy and lasting marriages. Although weak arranged marriages occur as well, strong arranged marriages also exist. I believe that arranged marriages often stay robust considering admirable parents know their children well, since arranged marriages often reflect two people with the same values, and lastly because these marriages often start with solid foundations.

Marriage is the socially recognized union of two or more people. Selecting a marriage partner is very much a culturally defined process. The rules governing selection vary widely from society to society and are more often complex. How would you go about selecting a mate? Where would you begin? What criteria would you use? When we look around the world to see how other societies deal with these questions, it is clear that the ways of selecting a mate or a marriage partner has been changed from generation to generation.