Marriage, Love, Rape and Pornography from the Female Perspective

The alarming increase in sexual assault among male and female students is a source of concern. Despite improvements in the general statistics on rape cases, the college setting remains to be the hot bed of sexual assault, especially among the female counterparts (Allen, 2007). A victim, regardless being a male or a female, never feel safe in their life as something precious was taken from them once. Statistics show that 17.6% of women are likely to be victims of rape in their entire lifetime while only 0.3% of males are estimated to be the victims of sexual assault. According to the National Violence Against Women Survey (NVAWS), the most critical ages men and females are likely to be engaged in sexual abuse is when they are children or adolescents (Gonzales, Schofield & Schmitt, 2006).

Relationships are one of the most important to elements to life in our society. We have both good and bad relationships and both can lead to conflict. Marriage is one of the most interesting relationships in our society. Spouses can have a relationship between one another and all of a sudden it can turn sour very quickly. The

Growing up children are surrounded with a fairy tale life, the ‘happily ever after.’ As girls we are supposed to wait for our prince charming and he will love us forever; and for boys it is finding and rescuing a beautiful princess who can cook, clean, and is loved by all creatures. That is what marriage is based off of as a child, but that perspective changes once we get a small grasp of the concept of love and we really see what marriage is. Marriage is not something anyone goes into lightly and maybe our expectations of the fairy tale life are why divorce is so commonly sought.

From the moment we are born , our genders have giving others a certain expectation from each and every one of us . Women are usually expected to look to know how to cook and clean , to have children and stay home to take care of them they are to aspire to be a perfect wife for their future husband . Men are expect to take care of their family by bringing a good amount of money home each day and with that pay the bills . Even though most of us probably don't see things like this , maybe some of our family members still do and they go by these false perceptions that society has put on all of us since the day we are born . I know that my family does and maybe yours does too , speaking from experience I know how tiring it is to hear the same things being repeated to you almost your whole life or doing things you just don't want to do. Many children are raised in a household where they are taught to follow these expectations created by society . Including myself , I have always been told there is a certain expectation from me as a women that I should get used to cleaning the house and cooking a meal because if I cant't do those tasks , no man will want to be with me . Which I find infuriating , i should not be expected to take a care of another who can take care of themselves and if I were to , it would be my choice not because i am expected to do so , due to my gender . That doesn't go for just women, but men too. It's not fair that men are expected to pay for the bills , rent

Recently while reading Rolling Stone and looking for an article for this paper, and came across an article called “A Rape on Campus: A Brutal Assault and Struggle for Justice at UVA.” In summary, a freshman at the University of Virginia was at a frat party and her date was a member of that certain frat. She chose against drinking which is uncommon in most rape cases that occur on campuses. He later asks her to join him upstairs, and being an innocent naïve girl she decided to follow him. As soon as she entered the dark room and he did not turn on the lights she knew that something was wrong. Soon after she heard many different voices in the room and after seven different frat boys did horrid things to her she understood that this was something that some of these boys were doing this as an initiation into that frat. Of course, her friends who were so-called ‘loyal’ to their college urged her to keep quiet for fear that “she may never be allowed in a frat again” or “put a bad light on the university.” Furthermore, the UVA is under a federal investigation to try to determine if there have been other cases of rape that may have been ‘swept under the rug.’ In this essay I want to investigate the psychology of rape and the rapist, why it happens largely in college campuses and specifically fraternities, and also to understand the “rape culture.”

I learned to do laundry and dishes at a young age, and never questioned my responsibilities; I just did what my father asked. One of my housemates was raised by a single mother and has three sisters. They systematically assigned chores by using a white board to sign up for daily responsibilities. So, in our off-campus house, I expect to do chores that aren’t assigned to me, merely because of habit, where my housemate has brought her own white board for all of us living together to do what she has done. Regardless of the different ways of communicating, everything that needs to be completed has been, and we’re working on adjusting to everyone’s different ways of living.

One in four college-aged women has experienced rape or attempted rape, although 95% of attacks go unreported.” According to a survey from the American Association of University Women, the results showed that there are 3% of women in the colleges across the country have been raped or have suffered attempted rape. While only 2% of incapacitated rape survivors report assault. There are several reasons why many women do not report being raped or sexually assaulted. Many female college students buy into myths about rape and sexual assault causing them to believe that it was their fault and that they were somewhat responsible for what happened. Most victims usually blame themselves, so they choose not to come forward, some others are scared that law enforcement won’t believe them, while others are simply embarrassed, or they might be afraid their attacker might retaliate. A friend of my friend, she has been sexually assaulted after deinking, but sadly as a victim of a rape, she was too scared to step forward and she didn’t even report the rape to the law enforcement because she thought it was her fault to drink alcohol. She was also too embarrassed and uncomfortable to talk about the rape and answer any questions. Even she chose to drink alcohol, what happened is not her fault. Because whatever the reason is, no woman should blame herself for being raped or sexually

A survey of 14000 adults states in ‘A Guide to Family Issues: The Marriage Advantage’ that marriage was a pertinent factor contributing to happiness and satisfaction with forty percent of the married individuals being happy as opposed to 25 percent of either single or cohabiting individuals. The same study shows that ninety eight percent of never married respondents wished to marry and out of those 88% believed that it should be a lifelong commitment. Even though, divorce rates are rising numerous researches show that young people aspire to have a lasting marriage.

"When, husbands take on household responsibility, they typically choose tasks that do not threaten their masculine self-images ( Weingarten ,1978; Yogev, 1981)" (Biernet & Wortman, 1991). Women have to be a jack-of-all trades, they have to go to work, clean house, drive the children to school, get them ready for bed, and get up to do it all over

Certain things are a given about college life. New opportunities, new friends, new living situations, but also, new dangers. No matter what college, what area, whether it is a notorious party school or not, there is always a danger that comes with placing hormonal youths in close contact with drugs, alcohol, and each other. Yet, few parents are afraid for the safety their young sons. Many parents fear for the safety of their daughters, in an environment where drugs and alcohol are the norm. The college party culture has been renowned for placing shame and blame on young girls who are the victims of rape and sexual assault. So, I created a model for a poster which protests this campus, and also nationwide rape culture.

How many people have to get raped before the United States takes action? “1 out of four female students will be the victim of a rape or attempted sexual assault.” (The Hunting Ground) As this new culture progresses in the world our generation has to incorporate discipline and a new way of thinking to contribute to the new and improved mindset. Another thought being that, the view of sexual assault as well as rape is the victim's fault must be discontinued. We must discover ways that will revive our subtlety to the subjects.

The topic that we talked about in the class, Sex Crimes and the Law that really interested me was the topic of rape. After having the guest speaker that was a Temple student really bothered me and I thought about it for days. For starters, I think it is absolutely scary that she was rapped on Temple University’s campus, to be exact in Peabody hall and absolutely nothing was done to help her. This is bothering me the most because I am a Temple student, this happened in her own room, no one helped her, and her rapist is still out there. I feel horrible that no one even tried to help and most people even made it seem like it was her fault by saying things such as “you know you wanted it”. No one wants to be rapped and the victim should never be to blame. This poor girl tried to kill herself multiple times. I believe that no one should go through this trauma alone or even go through it at all. Since our guest speaker, I have gone on a binge of watching Law & Order: SVU and even through about becoming a special victim unit detective for my career. Another reason that the topic of rapped bothered me was because just recently one of my friends came out and said that she was raped by her boyfriend. No one even knew this happened until she made it public on Facebook. For the longest time she was drawn back and really did not hang out with the group and now I know why. The guest speaker really helped me to understand, just to be there for her. When she wants to talk she will and not

My mom was always the one to cook meals, go grocery shopping, clean, and care for my sisters and myself, even though she had a fulltime job. Not to say that my dad did nothing, he always helped when he was home, but my mom took care of the house and conformed to the thought that women tend to the household. This is the role that women have played in my family, both my grandmothers stayed at home with the children and never worked outside of the home, also many of my aunts did the same, even my own sister. I have been married for about a year, and feel that I do not meet the idea that this group has. I work fulltime, go to school fulltime, so I do not take complete charge of everything that needs to be done in the house. My husband is great and always helps, however his family was like mine, his mother was a stay at home mom. I always get self-conscious having our family around because the house is not spotless, or I did not make dinner, because I was doing homework. Even though my husband and I understand the rationale behind why the little tasks that did not get done, I feel that my family does not. However, I am trying to change my thought process, because I know our life is different from my parents, and what works for them does not have to work for

Rape is the most common violent crime on American college campuses today. (Sampson, 2003.) Statistics from the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network show that “every two minutes in the United States, someone is raped, and the chances of being that victim are four times greater for a female college student than for any other age group” (Burnett, 2009).

12.5. Is this it the average number of times Cornell students cry during Finals week? Nope. 12.5 is the number of videos viewed per person on Pornhub.com if it was divided evenly among every person on Earth. Pornography has become a crucial part of our our entertainment consumption, especially with the rise of the Internet, where anything you can dream of can be found with a click. Although porn is as accessible as Facebook nowadays, many feminists believe that pornography is problematic and is a tool for female oppression. One feminist scholar who believes that pornography should be eliminated completely is Catherine MacKinnon. In her essay, “Sexuality, Pornography, and Method: ‘Pleasure under Patriarchy’”, she discusses the issues with pornography in our society. Although McKinnon makes valid points in saying that pornography is an extension of the patriarchy, I believe that pornography should not be eliminated because doing so will not address underlying social problems and because alternative ways, such as changing pornography to be more feminist, is more effective.