Do You Make These Mistakes When Disciplining Your Children?
Disciplining our little ones can be extremely difficult. We are only human, we all make mistakes every now and then. Often times we may find ourselves blowing up or giving in to our child when they are misbehaving. But there are many common mistakes we all make that can be fixed with practice.
Disciplining when angry
Our children can drive us crazy, making us susceptible to exploding. But we must remember to never discipline when angry. Yelling and acting out of anger only instills in our children that they should do the same in relationships with others. Children respond best to discipline when a parent is calm and direct.
Solution
Take a moment to regroup and calm down. Then
…show more content…
We tell our children no when they ask for more cookies, and eventually give in when they throw a fit. Inconsistency only causes lack of trust and confusion, and often times makes our child feel the need to test our limits.
Solution
Determine what rules are most important and that you will most likely enforce. Don't make too many rules, that will put too much stress on you and your kids. Commit to enforcing those rules with positive reinforcement.
Physical Punishment
Unfortunately physical punishment is still approved by more than half of adults today. Spanking, slapping, pinching, or any physical force with the intention of inflicting pain to discipline your child is wrong, and very counterproductive. Studies show that children who are hit, learn to use violence when dealing with conflict.
Solution
A gentle explanation of what they are doing wrong and how to correct it is more effective. Using your words will help them understand their wrongdoing instead of hitting, which only distracts them from their misbehavior.
Not being a good role model
We often times forget our children watch our behavior and tend to copy what we do. So therefore if we lie, yell, hit, or display bad behavior we should expect them to follow in our
Communication is important in discipline. Authoritarian parents tend to place an excess worth on the aspects of disciplining a child. Reasons or explanations of the rules for the punishment were never given with my mother. Being an authoritative parent, I lean towards allowing my children to know why the rules are such and what to expect when the rules are broken. A lot of authoritarian power base is achieved through parental intimidation of the child. The authoritative parent is less likely to respond my anger to a rebellion against their rules. When my mother gave punishments they were neither effective nor appropriate. However, by learning through experience I parent with firm but appropriate
When children get to a certain age they begin to play cooperatively which means by the age of about four alot of children start to resolve conflict on their own. As adults we still need to show children how to do this in a positive way. As children grow older adults need to step back and see if children can resolve conflicts on their own. It is also important to give praise when this is done, if the children are still finding it difficult, it may be useful to act as a guide rather then tell them exactly what to do.
A recent study shows 70 percent of parents believe it is right to discipline a child through physical means. Most commonly, parents will spank their children but being hit with things like belts or other objects happens as well. Parenting methods haven’t changed much with time and discipline in similar no matter the country. With more studies out to find the most effective method of parenting and discipline it’s coming to attention whether or not physical harm is the best way to teach children. Parents want what is best for their children, so it is important to constantly bring up and question methods commonly accepted in the past. One method that is becoming more controversial is spanking children. Though it is still considered normal to do, it is gaining more traction and more studies are being done to find the problems it causes. Checking on parenting methods can be difficult as everyone is raised differently. It is also difficult to test which forms of punishment lead to certain outcomes. However, there is a trend of negative effects from hitting. Gershoff acknowledges, “several national professional organizations have called on parents to abandon spanking as a child rearing practice and for professionals to recommend disciplinary alternatives to spanking.” Spanking children is a terrible discipline method as it has negative effects.
what to say will be much easier for the child to understand and follow. Continually telling children what they are doing wrong will not help them learn the correct or appropriate behaviour.
According to Prevent Child Abuse North Dakota, “The goal of discipline is to create an orderly, predictable, stable, and fun world to enjoy and grow healthy.” When it comes to discipling a child, there are many different courses of action that could be taken. Parents can and should discipline their children (Smenyak). There is a large controversy over the most universal discipline method there is, spanking. Many parents believe that spanking their child can be a beneficial way of correcting a child if done correctly (Smenyak). Other parents believe that spanking a child is simply abuse, that it does not work, or that “Spanking plants a seed for later violent behavior,” says AskDrSears.com.
We should not betray our thoughts nor do anything we deem as
They can't hit the child for hitting the other person as a way of correcting them and tell them that hitting is wrong, because the parent taught them the act of hitting. "Approval of physical punishment for a child who has hit a playmate appears to include a confusing and contradictory message" (Flynn 33). They may learn from this that violence is acceptable. For example, one day when I smacked my child on the hand for doing something wrong he smacked me right back. So, I smacked him and said, "you don't hit mommy," and he smacked me again. I then realized that this was very confusing to him. So, coming from someone with experience on the issue, I have resorted to spanking in the past and it was not effective.
Most parents subconsciously use the same disciplinary actions that were used on them growing up. There is a ton of variety concerning ways of disciplining your children. These include, but aren’t limited to; spanking, creating consequences, withholding privileges, and time outs. However, experts don’t recommend using spanking as a disciplinary measure, as it causes anger, antagonism, amps up aggression, and makes the child feel devalued, as well as being ineffective in the long run. Spanking is also known to cause antisocial behavior. It is especially ineffective with toddlers and babies because they are unable to make the connection between their bad behavior and physical punishment.
This source provided information on how to discipline your child without getting angry or yelling. It told the reader that there are other ways to communicate with your kid, rather than yelling commands at them, you could discuss their behavior and negotiate, and actually figure out what was the cause of what they did. Although there wasn’t an exact date on the article, the farthest date that the comments went back was six years ago, so I believe it was posted in 2011. The author brings up a few other people in her article, such as Naomi Aldort, who wrote Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves and Dr. Katharine C. Kersey, who wrote The 101s: A Guide to Positive Discipline. The author is Bridget Bentz Sizer, who has had numerous articles published
Hitting children with objects, pinching, pulling hair, biting, taking off their clothes to punish them, and leaving marks on their body are physical forms of abusive punishment. Physical discipline may succeed in teaching children to respect parents, but it also teaches them to fear their parents and as a result, they will not turn to the parents when facing problems in their life. It hinders that relationship and usually the relationship between parent and child is not that fruitful. What needs to take place is an understanding between child and caregiver, and explanations why what the child doing is wrong. If parents slap a child or hit their child every time a child does something wrong they will learn to hit too. Face slapping is one of the most common abuses because of how shaming it is. The face is a “visible and recognizable symbol of a person’s
More often than not, the children under my sphere of influence understand and obey, but sometimes they have moments when correction is necessary. Therefore, I let God lead me on how, when, and what punishment I need to render. Subsequently, I do not want to offend my grandchildren and withdraw
Spanking has become an arguably debatable form of discipline. According to a study at the University of Texas, the more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents (“Spanking: Pros and Cons”). There is a connection between spanking during the childhood and mental health diagnoses later in life. There are other options of discipling your child than spanking them, especially because all children can take spanking differently. Parents should not spank their child because it showers that being “stronger” is right, demonstrates that older people have a right to hit younger people, and gives the examples that violence solves all problems.
If you keep stepping in to resolve all your child’s problems, they will struggle to make decisions and grow. Even if your child is struggling, if you know they can resolve the conflict on their own, allow the child to do this. Although they may get annoyed or hurt by your reluctance to intervene, your child will probably come to appreciate the trust you have demonstrated in your child’s ability to make decisions.
Discipline is one of the basic things a child learns from his parents before he or she faces the outside world to learn more about life as a whole. Teaching this trait can depend on how the parent shows it to their child and how they explain the importance of having this trait both in and out of their homes. Misbehaving children cannot be avoided as they are curious little beings and they have a tendency to explore. But there are some parents, even teachers, who do not tolerate misbehaving and they resort to corporal punishments such as spanking to make sure the child never forgets how painful it is to misbehave as they will remember the punishment entailed to it and become more disciplined. However, not all children would understand the
There are other alternatives to punishing the children for their bad behavior. Less severe punishment besides spanking. They can take away their television privileges, computer use, and playing outside with their friends, they could ground them for the weekend and cancel plans, or they could take the time to sit and talk to their children about their bad