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Essay on My Daughter's Baby

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"It's a Girl" This was not the first time I'd heard these words, not even the first time I'd heard them spoken in a delivery room. But it was the first time I heard them spoken to my daughter and it was unlike any other moment in my life. Just eight months earlier my daughter Kirsten, only eighteen years old herself, had shyly whispered to me that she was going to have a baby. While I smiled and hugged her, I reeled from a barrage of fears and emotions I could not share with her. I knew our lives were forever changed, and I wondered if we would stay as close as we'd always been. Was she leaving me? Could I let her go? I wanted to hold on my lap just once more before she was all grown up.



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Winter was long and cold that year, and we all looked forward to March and the chance to finally hold the little girl we spent so much time talking about and planning for. I predicted a St. Patrick's day birth and, stressing our Irish roots, cast my vote for a name true to her heritage.



In February, Kirsten and Gary invited me to dinner and, over coffee, told me they wanted me to be in the delivery room when the baby arrived. I was concerned, anxious not to intrude on that moment when a couple becomes a family, but they were adamant, and I can't remember ever feeling so loved.



There were other fears I experienced but could not share with them. Was I strong enough to see my daughter suffer? I feared my own Irish would rush to the surface and I would scream at nurses, bully doctors and probably say some rude things to Gary about who was to blame for all of this!



I prayed for wisdom and patience; it was not a new prayer for me. On March 17, 1993 (St. Patrick's Day), I returned to my office from a business meeting to find Kirsten waiting for me. She'd had a doctor's appointment earlier that morning, I knew.



"Well, What's the news?" I said. "How much longer do we have to wait?" "Just a few hours, I think. Mom, will you take me to the hospital?" We were at Deaconess Hospital within minutes, and while Kirsten was being admitted, I finally found Gary, who'd been enroute to work,

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