My Deceased Grandma From A Dream

1516 Words7 Pages
My deceased Grandma came to me in a dream. It was not just a dream but also a vision, I am sure of it! Amid all the problems I suffered from spirituality in life, my grandma wanted to explain to me that I was not responsible for her death. See, I blamed myself foolishly for killing her because instead of staying with her I went to my cousin’s home to spend the night. By refusing to stay with her, I determined that instead of the pacemaker malfunctioning, I caused her heart to stop. In the dream, Grandma spoke to me in earnest trying to convince me that I could not have prevented her death even if I had been with her. I, of course, did not care about thinking along those lines because I wanted to be with her and cherish her again.
Fondly,
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She decided that I went too often to the place and stayed out too late. Protestations would not arise from me about her decision. Possibly, Mother was correct about unfulfilled longings for something more manifesting themselves in that dark mirror called dreams. Maybe, there was nothing more as the visiting minister alluded.
As I predicted, I felt the forces of that night of rapture ebb. With it, I felt the guilt of causing grandma’s death dissipate. The nightmare helped cure my mind. Also, attending church, any church lost its appeal. The one thing that was missing from my life, sanctification through the Holy Ghost was already in me according to the preacher. If what I had was enough to be a saint, it was not worth the trouble I determined. It made no sense that I would spend the remainder of my days half empty spiritually. In church, I learned how good God is—that He can do anything. What was I supposed to do in return and how would I know it when I did it?
As I started to reflect on my life more, the more I reasoned about things, the more confusion stifled my thinking. With the progression of the freshman year at high school, I digressed morally. One night, I went to my cousin Terry, a Mormon, but not to my knowledge, and told him I grew tired of my chastity. I wanted to remove the title of virgin from next to my name, and I figured he knew what to do. As a very attractive guy who seemed to catch the eye of the girls,
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