Personal Narrative: Being A Child Of Divorce

Divorce is something well known to many of my peers. I have had to deal with it not just once, but twice. In 2002, my Mom and Dad split. Almost two years later, my Mom remarried to the man who was my childhood father figure. Being that all three parents were military, my Dad and I did not live close to each other. My Dad was stationed at different bases, sometimes a base half way across the world. This caused a stronger bond to my stepfather, Jason. Over the course of 11 years, Jason and I grew a father-daughter relationship.

Sixth grade year is expected to be a wonderful transition from "little kid" to mature-ish adolescent, but for me it wasn't.

Today, many kids are the children of divorced parents and it isn't uncommon anymore. Usually parents are civil with one another for the sake of the children. However, I was the victim of two very uncivil parents, both who refused to admit their own faults to one another and then went on to speak badly of the other to my younger sisters and I.

On a night where I was having severe anxiety and uncontrollable crying spells, God offered me a choice. I heard him say, "Tanya are you going to continue to live in darkness or do you want what I have for you? Because you have no idea what I'm about to do." At that moment I wiped my tears and passed out. I woke up with with a sudden urge to say out loud, "I'm so over this and I'm ready to change." With God, therapy, and my support group, I've been able to walk through this divorce and find hope again. Therapy is an amazing tool to utilize and there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's helped me tremendously with my anxiety and other issues, and I highly recommend it if you have the financial capability or if your insurance covers it. But my relationship

My mom and dad called me down to the table, sat me down, and said the word divorce. Divorce was a new word to me but I would not come to realize what divorce meant till I was older. Soon after our conversation my dad moved out and I decided to stay with my mom until an arrangement was worked out where I could see both parents equally. My parents started to go their separate way . My dad married a fiery Colombian woman named Margarita. She has tested me through time and it taught me many lessons through her anger and her love.

Three years ago, my parents decided it would be best if they split up. My brothers and I didn’t understand, and we didn’t agree. We were hurt, and everything seemed to be crumbling down around us. It was an extremely emotional time for all of us, and it was then that I realized who was really there for me. My family, my friends, and faith in God is what really helped my through the hard times of my parents’ divorce.

My parents separated when I was six years old and officially divorced when I was eleven. During this time, I never knew the real story behind the split. However, now that I can understand the complications and issues, I seek for the answer to that question. That question that has been in my mind for as long as I can remember: why did they split up? As I listen to my mom express her side, my heart shatters. I realize that even though the divorce never impacted me, learning how much she suffered and how she handled it has an affect on me.

One of the major setbacks I've had in my lifetime was going through my parents divorce at such a young age. When all of this took place I was in 8th grade and I was 12-13 years old and my parents sat my younger sister and I down and told us that they were going to get a divorce. When I heard the word “divorce” come out of my mother’s mouth. I felt as if time stood still, like everything slowed down and everything I once held dear was crumbling before my very eyes. In that moment I didn't care about the reason they were separating. All I knew that I was no longer gonna have a family. The moment I realized that, it was scarier than the real divorce. After they told my younger sister and I, things just felt like they were spiraling. Then we got asked the worst question that no child should ever hear, “Do you want to live with your father or do you want to live with me (mother)?” That is when it actually hit me that my family will be divided.

Nothing is more humbling than being faced with adversity. So many forget that struggle is what molds an individual and I am one molded by it. There is something so raw and real when you see someone you love face hardship. Being the sympathetic person I am I found myself blurring the line between my happiness and another’s. The day my mom let it slip that her and my father were planning to separate threw me into a daze. The crack in her voice gave depth to the situation and that is when I know that this was real.

Marriage is not just a piece of paper.  It is a promise to live together faithfully, till death, through thick and thin, sickness and health and it is a benefit to the children who are raised in it.  Marriage is a

Biblically, marriage is a lifetime union of a man and a woman, primarily for the purpose of building a family and providing a stable environment for that family (1 Corinthian 7:2

The commitment of marriage is one of the most important decisions two people will make in their lives. The vow of marriage is a pledge of your everlasting love uniting you in holy marriage. Whereby you commit to share all that life has to offer. The good times and the bad times, with patience and understanding. For marriage to remain strong, your faith must never waiver due to circumstances of everyday life. Remember, that the power of faith can conquer all obstacles. Marriage is a spiritual contract. When words of faith are spoken, and actual miracle takes place as God honors your faith and brings you into union together. Love is a commitment, not just and emotion or a feeling. These words were spoken fourteen years ago, on August sixteenth, two thousand two. I was a young, twenty-one year old girl who was committing her life to the only boyfriend she had ever had. We already had three kids, and I just figured that it was the next step in life that we were supposed to do. Everyone did it, so I had to too. As the years progressed, I wondered if I had made the right decision and, and was finding myself wanting out of the marriage. Because I have also experienced unhappiness in marriage, I can relate to Louise Mallard’s reactions and behavior following the news of her husband’s death.

In today’s society, couples either rush into marriage, get married for the wrong reasons, or don’t marry the right person. Marriage has become a blank canvas that people create themselves and ignore what God intentionally created marriage for. When I look at my life and what I believe, marrying the love of life will be what I think about until the actual day I get married. Who I end up marrying, I want them to be compatible with what I believe and want in life and I also want to feel the feeling that, “my heart just knows” I am supposed to be with this person. I believe that marriage is about being with the one you have fallen in love with and can love the rest of your life with; through the good and the bad times. Marriage is the covenant between two people to be together forever. Whether they are the right or the wrong person, we are the ones who decide who we fall in love with in the end.

In reality we all believe that marriage is beautiful, and happy thing. We see on television all the time, how happy these marriages are. In reality not everything is at always as it seems, I guess you can say everything is not what it seems behind the curtain. Marriage is supposed to be about, love, and being there for one another. People need to see that everything always isn 't, always rainbows, and sunshine. People need to realize, that you need to work through things, and not just jump to conclusions. Marriage is when two individuals become one person, and unite in holy matrimony.

I’m glad life did not continue like nothing happened because my mom deserved better, My parents were on different pages where it seems better to just have them be apart. I have always felt horrible for thinking that a broken family would be the best option for us. But I would rather have a family that can be honest to themselves.