Personal Relationship Wellness: Marriage Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).
Marriage
Marriage is a true testament of ability to withstand a person’s overall being. A strong marriage is a marriage that incorporates not only love but also having the complete form of love, consummate love. According to A triangular theory of love, consummate love is having all three components of the triangle: passion, intimacy, and commitment (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).
A marriage should not ride on doubts and fears, but on loyalty and honesty. With this in mind, it can be asserted that marriage is complex, requiring only the strongest bond between two people to happily
There is a staggeringly large amount of divorces in the United States (US). In total, the US had a recorded total of 2,140,272 marriages in the year 2014 alone, and of those marriages, 813,862 ended up in divorce or annulment (Center for Disease Control). This means that as recently as 2014, there was a divorce rate of approximately 40%. This supports the statistics that the divorce rate for the US has stayed within 40-50% since the 1970’s (Austin Institute, 2014). While the numbers themselves are important, it is also important that the causes for the high divorce rate be explored, so that it can be known what pitfalls to avoid when participating in such an important union as marriage. There are many causes of divorce in the US such as conflicting gender roles, socioeconomic status, religious conflicts, physical abuse, emotional abuse, alcohol addictions, and many more (Amato & Previti, 2003). This paper will look at many of these reasons, but it will also focus on the differing reasons reported by men and women.
Modern, contemporary society’s mindset on marriage has shifted considerably over the years. Some research has noted the increase in early sexual experiences, greater acceptance of cohabitation and the increase in narcissistic tendencies, are complicating and muddying the ideals of what marriage means to people today. Research done on this subject resulted in several studies that found that spouses who did not believe that marriage would last forever, were less likely to commit to the relationship financially and were more likely to have extramarital affairs.
“Will Your Marriage Last?”, by Aviva Patz, is a cohesive article about marriage and divorce. Aviva Patz is the executive editor of Psychology Today. Patz narrates the story of Ted Huston, a professor at the University of Texas, who followed the lives of 168 couples for 13 years after their wedding date. She was then able to draw conclusions about what makes a couple stay together or end up filing divorce papers. Although marriages and divorce are the themes of this article, it is really about society’s pressure on young people to be perfect.
The majority of people who join together with their significant other through the act of marriage hope and dream that marriage will surround them with infinite love and happiness; unfortunately that is not always the case. In fact, “according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2013 American Community Survey, 10 percent of Maine women and 11 percent of men in Maine are divorced.”1 Though 10 and 11 percent seem like fairly small percentages, 10 percent of Maine women is approximately 67,831 women, and 11 percent of Maine men is approximately 71,506 men, which truly are not small figures to take into consideration. Since marriages do not always have a happy ending
Summary: Dr. Hawkins has done a wonderful job in presenting the essential elements of what it takes to have a Biblically sound intimate and committed marriage. In Strengthening Marital Intimacy (1991), he has captured the two foundational truths, intimacy and commitment, makes a good marriage into a great marriage. It is not enough to know the Word of God intellectually there must be a real surrendering to the sovereign will of God. To do it will transform a life of commitment to God and to the marriage. The key concepts presented in this book cover marital intimacy, commitment, wisdom, reality, God’s sovereignty, the person, sexuality,
Pratz’s first main point is that marriages can be predicted to either succeed or end in divorce within the early stages of courtship or initial years of marriage. She offers that the early stages of distress are what determine a couple’s fate. Pratz includes Ted Huston, a professor of human ecology and psychology at the University of Texas, and his Process of Adaptation in Intimate Relationships Project as her main source throughout the article. Pratz states, “through multiple
With the research study of John Gottman (1954), he observed 2000 couples. He indicated that “marital success at least five to one ratio of positive to negative interactions.” While with stable marriages, more than five times of instances were couples of “smiling, touching, complimenting, and laughing, then of sarcasm, criticism, and insults.” Gottman conducted that don’t look at how in love a couple is, look at the one’s that “refrain” from putting down their other
Conversely, most people perceive marriage as a sanctuary, satisfying the needs of both partners involved. It is one of the most important institutions affecting people’s health and well-being. Firstly, a strong marriage has a dramatic effect on the partners’
Chaney, C. (2009). Beyond the Healthy Marriage Initiative: How Extension Agents can promote healthy relationships among low-income, cohabiting African American Couples. North Carolina State University Extension.
Marriage is a bond made between two people that is hoped to last a lifetime; however, in recent times this bond is becoming broken due to the increase number of divorce. An important way to not become a statistic of divorce is to receive counseling or to read a self-help book like, “Getting Ready for Marriage” written by Jim Burns and Doug Fields. These resources allow married couples to develop the vital skills needed to push through the trials and tribulations that can occur during marriage. The completion of reading “Getting Ready for Marriage” will decrease the likelihood of a marriage ending by divorce dramatically.
Multitudes of people live with the negative idea that half of marriages fail and end in divorce. In reality, the divorce rate has never even been close to such discouraging statistics. When young newlyweds are bombarded with these false statistics, they lose hope and use it as an excuse to give up when their marriage goes through a rough patch. In contrast, researchers should focus more on the positive aspects and give couples hope. Hope can produce a lasting impact on marriage and can help them thrive. A woman
In the article “WE WANT A DIVORCE” written by SIRS Staff, readers ascertain that divorce rates have proliferated over the past 30 years due to lack of interest in their partner, different beliefs and habits, and financial problems. Declining interest is very problematic because some couples find their relationship was only actualized to escape reality. While losing interest in their partner is troublesome, the lack of commonality in values and customs make it excruciating to live together. Furthermore, the stress of money can diminish the bonds of love and it can terminate the marriage because the power of money becomes stronger than the power of love. Therefore, divorce can manifest when there is a lack of interest in their partner, different
“Americans do not seem to be interested in a reality check on the topics of love and marriage. After all, it seems to be more fun to believe in fairy tales” (Hornblow). There is a large number of Americans who would get married at least once in their lives, without thinking of the importance of a marriage and the possibilities that could happen based on quick decisions. The true meaning to what marriage is, issues involving marriage, which causes the divorce rate to rise in the United States, and the importance of marriage, to what is being done to increase the chance of a happy long-lasting marriage. Marriages in the United States can be seen by the explanation of the effects of not being able to tackle problems, or being able to learn how to work through complex issues of everyday life as a married couple.
Aside from all of the marital bliss, it is reported that the first two years of marriage can be very challenging I that all of the romance and courtships fades and couples are more inclined to notice the decline in marital quality (Wilson et all,. 2014). Not only does the first few years the stage and build the foundation for a life conflict resolution styles are formed, and hobbits or behaviors develop that could have a positive or negative implication on the marriage (Huston, 2001). Karnay, 2010 suggested that many newly wedded couples lack the ability to effectively resolve problem within the first few years of marriage.