Poorly Written Email
TO: Jim FROM: Mike DATE: August 13, 2013
SUBJECT: ASME Vessel Requirements
Jim,
I have had a chance to review your memorandum in detail, research the relevant codes and standards, and have some preliminary conversations with Matt Hirsch (Primus) and Mike McGinnis (Innovative). I have also attached two (2) pictures of the installation in Omaha. The installation in Dallas, although appears to be vessel, is not intended to be a vessel. The design that was reviewed initially was to be condenser drain header sized to provide a minimum of 5 minutes of liquid supply to the thermosyphon oil coolers. However, pipe cap fitting were used on the inlet and outlet sides of the
…show more content…
First, Mike should have started the email thanking Jim for bringing the concern to his attention. This would have shown Jim that Mike appreciates the pride he takes in his job. It, also, would have introduced the topic at hand and led into the main point of the email. Next, Mike should have written the lead before introducing any processes or references. Then, he could have systematically written the reasoning and findings behind his message. Finally, Mike should have left out the last three sentences, replacing them with supportive information about the machinery. If he had done so, it would have resolved Jim’s concern and eliminated all the unfriendly diction that led to the workplace animosity.
Mike’s email caused anger, frustration, and confusion in the workplace. Through the emails that followed, Jim’s insecurities grew and Mike’s temper was tested. A properly written email could have avoided a workplace disruption. Furthermore, one focused, organized, and direct email would have answered Jim’s concern and relayed Mike’s support.
Email Rewrite
TO: Jim FROM: Mike DATE: August 13, 2013
SUBJECT: Requirements for ASME Vessel
Jim,
Thank you for notifying me about the concern in Dallas. I carefully looked over your memorandum, and can see where that section of the refrigeration system could appear to be a vessel.
Write a document that Wilson Brothers specifically would use to establish guidelines and norms for the organization with respect to the use of email, and any other electronic communication medium, for internal and external communications. Make recommendations on what to do and what not to do. Explain the reasoning for your recommendations. (10 marks)
| Zefrem’s current project involves repositioning fuel tanks on company truck designs for the new model.
<a href="http://socialwork.adelphi.edu/global/emailthispage.php" target="_blank"><img src="./Real Cases Andrea R. Case Study Part 1 Adelphi University_files/email.gif" alt="" width="178" height="23" border="0"></a><br>
Sean should type “MEMORANDUM” at the top of the page, for whom the memo, the date, and the subject of the memo. In writing the body of his memo, he should introduce the problem in the first paragraph, and give some context. Also, he should suggest actions that the readers should take seriously and lastly, close with a positive summary. Then, finalize the format of his memo properly, proofread it and hand write initials of his name.
The evaluation on overall tone was informal and not respectful towards to the recipients. From line 14 to 15, the tone of the sentence was informal in putting across the message of asking his fellow colleagues to cut down on their frequency of checking emails. This would also deem as not respectful by the recipients. In line 18, the use of “yap” as a slang for yes was unacceptable as well. From line 23 to 25, the phrase “by the way” should not be used in communicating in workplace. The tone of sentences between line 23 to line 25 was sarcastic and adopts an arrogant attitude towards the recipients. In line 32, the sentence “it really works, try it!” was not appropriate in a formal email to promote the skills he was sharing.The sentence “Too bad I have to miss this one” in line 35, was an expression of his feelings which was unnecessary. Lastly, he should not be signing off with cheers since this was supposed to be an formal and informative email. This makes the email informal and seems to be having a conversation with his friends and not his
During the conversation between Ron Davis – the relatively new general manager of the machine tooling group at Parker Manufacturing and Mike – a plant manager who reported to Ron, Ron had violated some principles of supportive communication and supportive listening. First of all, Ron had violated Descriptive and Problem-Oriented principles. For example, Ron expressed his thinking and opinion about what Mike did and stated Mike’s personalities: “I think you’re too chummy with some of your female personnel” or “I think you’re creating a substandard impression by not wearing a tie” and “Having things in
With the information provided Jeff’s relation to the message is the need for the message, his family crisis, but The Human Resources office cares most about the shift being covered by Jeff, and not his personal problems.
In early May 2008, talk began between president of Flinder Valves, Bill Flinder and Tom Eliot, chairman and CEO of RSE about a possible acquisition of Flinder Valves by RSE. The industrial manufacturing industry had taken a hit due to rough economic times and the acquisition made sense. Both leaders were very concerned about the challenges and risks of the deal. Flinder was a company that engineered and manufactured specialty valves and heat exchangers. These products required extensive research and development and they were one of very few firms working in these types of applications. A bullk to FVC’s sales came from defense and aerospace applications. They were known for their
For example, there were 8000 e-mails that were sent out to students that needed to submit documents. Although it was necessary for students to send in these documents, many of them had questions. There was not adequate phone coverage to be able to assist all students who had received an e-mail. Students become frustrated that they have to sit on hold for thirty minutes while waiting for an advisor and once connected to the advisor they may not receive as detailed information as they would prefer. In addition, advisors become frustrated with management that they were not informed of the messages that were relayed to students. “Things happen in organizations because people working individually and in groups make them happen; people make the difference" (Schermerhorn). This can be both positive and negative. The lack of communication happens because people neglect to put in the work to make a difference and improve communication. In addition, the lack of motivation from disgruntled employees causes lack of work as well. However, if these problems were resolved and increase satisfaction among employees it could create ambition for employees to make difference in how they perform their duties as well.
Proposed changes: Initial proposed changes are utilizing resources mainly towards the replacement of equipment. This is one of the most important changes that need to take place. The manufacturing floor must be reorganized and there should be proper placement of the machinery. Raw product storage would be located towards the western wall. This would be a direct connection between receiving raw material and storage area. Doing this will eliminate any unnecessary foot traffic. After this would be move the finished product storage to the northern end of the facility and create two separate shipping departments. International shipping and domestic shipping, the domestic shipping department would be located where the general shipping area is currently. The international shipping would be next to the receiving area. The finished product would be stored in an area between the
Mike should have fostered an environment that allowed communication up and down the ladder and for him to communicate clearly with his superiors. A few employees around Mike noticed the project was in trouble but failed to speak up and let him know the project was derailed. As a junior (new) project manager, Mike in an effort to establish a positive communication network should have sought out those with whom he trusted for advice or some honest non-attributional feedback. It is easier to ask for advice than help saving an expensive
Third, is that email s an inefficient medium for in ambiguous, complex and novel situations”.
Frustration, hopelessness, despair and overall feelings of under appreciation came out in the feedback that Barbara solicited in the off-site meeting. Emotions play a large part in shaping attitudes, and the emotions and attitudes that the staff at GSU is experiencing contribute to a demoralizing work environment.
If Clark is just starting to recognize the high cost of losing these seasoned employees, he should be receptive to Liz’s message and wide open to strategies for resolving the issue. However, it would most likely be a mistake for Liz to communicate the message in a memo that she alone has authored. The one-way communication channel afforded by a memo does not provide Liz with the ability to tweak her message on the fly as she receives feedback from Clark.
Although Mary Ann did not want to waste time with this open communication process, she would have realized that Mike and Jeanine work better together when each subordinate individually feels useful and important. Mary Ann got the results out of Jeanine that she expected because she made her feel useful and important. If Mike was properly motivated and given