Reflection Paper On Social Self

One way that my family helped to socialize me to my culture’s norms and values was by making me hang out with other kids. Both my parents urged me to interact with others so that I could learn different things. I learned that everybody has a different view on culture and that opinions can differ.

As a child I suffered tremendously with confusion, self hatred, and misunderstanding about my own sexuality. Growing up queer in a small town is never an easy thing. I went through years of denial, and hid all of my thoughts about what I thought could be. I was so muddled in an all too common train of thought that my first conclusion was that I was incapable of loving another human being. Having never experienced honest crushes or any emotional or physical attraction to the opposite sex, I was very frightened for my ability to one day have a family. This thought put me into a mode of paranoia and panic. I began to search any place I could for any other possibility, hoping for some form of medication or therapy to ail me of what I thought was a mental illness. After only a few minutes at the computer, I realized there was nothing wrong with my mind, or capability to love. I am just gay.

For the next two years I struggled with the concept that I might actually be gay. By junior I was certain that I was in fact all the things that I was called in middle school, but because of the negative memories I decided it was a secret that I was better of keeping to myself. That was until the spring semester of my senior year in high school when I decided that I was going to live my life the way I wanted to. I would no longer allow people to scare me into being anything other then what I wanted to be I would live my life openly and honestly. On the evening of February 16, 2014 I came out as Gay on literally every social media platform I owned. The following morning, to my surprise, my classmates for the most part greeted me with open arms. As I walked from class to class I received a staggering amount of compliments and support. I was quite frankly overwhelmed when I did get a negative comment and a dozen people rushed to my

Published by the Huffington Post, 20 year old Austin Fisher voices his process of coming out in his article entitled “The 3 Sides to my Coming Out Story”. I choose to analyze and reflect on this text for I believe it displays various situations and perceptions in response to one coming out. The author starts by explaining how he came to terms with himself. When Fisher was younger he idolized his brother’s bravery for announcing his homosexuality to the world. This planted a seed in Fisher’s mind that would not seem to stop growing. Though deep down he knew he was gay, he was not ready to admit it to himself or the outside world. Instead, Fisher suppressed his “gay side” and reinvented himself. He got a girlfriend and views “coming out” as overrated, for Fisher views it as unfair and unjust that because of his inherently “wrong” sexualtity he has to go through an emotional process of explaining who he is attracted to the people he loves.

“Being gay is a fundamental part of my being - the core of who I've always been, and the thing that I had repressed and run from all my life.” Former New Jersey state senator, James McGreevey the American Democratic politician, kept his true identity from himself and the people he loved for almost his whole life. He ran away from felling anything for men because it was not only ‘wrong’ in society’s eyes but rather was not something he could accept about himself. And after 12 years of marriage to two different women he finally admitted to himself and came out about his sexuality. He finally accepted himself and allowed the society around him to do so too. He overcame the repression that he received by society to follow moral norms; additionally he overcame the repression his own mind forced him into believing for 12 years!

“Coming out” is a means of identifying one’s sexual orientation as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. At its most basic, “coming out of the closet,” means being honest with those around you—friends, family, colleagues, and so forth—about your sexual orientation, about whom you are. It also means acknowledging one’s sexual orientation to self. Such disclosure is an ongoing, lifelong process rather than a one-time event. New personal, social, and professional situations require gay men and lesbians to make decisions about the degree to which they can be open about their sexual orientation (Morrow, 1996).

My family shaped my personal and social identity at a micro level by being the first set of influencers the moment I was born. My personal identity is significantly influenced by my family through the approach that my parents have taken to raise and nurture me. The results of my parents raising me is shown through the behaviour and beliefs that I embody. For example, because of my family I have always been aware that there is a God. In consequence, my compliant behaviour towards religion has already been constructed at a young age. Moreover, my social identity’s structure was shaped by my family through they way they have socially interacted with me. My micro level interactions with my family throughout time has created a deeply rooted influence within me. The influence that my family has had on my social identity is demonstrated in the way that I respond in certain social situations. For example, through behavioural observation as a child I have learned not to speak back to my parents when they are lecturing me.

Before taking this course my writing styles and habits were very different. I was the typical procrastinator because I would wait until the night before a paper was due to start it. This did not allow me enough time to properly proofread everything, which resulted in getting points deducted for simple grammatical errors that could have been avoided if I would have had the time to proofread. My writing styles have many strengths and weaknesses and I have been able to improve my writing because of them. I have learned from my strengths and weaknesses how to become a better writer.

Most people do not think their family has a culture. They associate culture with countries and ethnic groups. But the family for most people is just a group of family people who do what they always do. Directly and subtly, children are shaped by the family culture in which they are born. At the stage of growth, their assumptions about what is right or wrong, good and bad, reflect the beliefs, values, and traditions of the family culture. Most take their family manners for granted and bring into adulthood numerous attitudes and behaviors acquired in childhood. Even those who later reject all or part of the family culture often find that they are not totally free of their early influences. 1

We as a human race have become a byproduct of our society. Through media, technology, and social pressure, humans no longer run society, but it seems like we are run by society. The quote from sociologist Peter Berger states “Not only do people live in society but society lives in them” This statement is referring to a form of social control were groups and the people in those groups conform to society partially knowingly and partially as a reflection based on dominant social expectations. As I further explain Berger’s statement I will explain how individuality, identity, and freedom fit in to such a predetermined future.

Many negative stereotypes are the cause of homosexuals failing to come out the closet to their friends, family and loved ones. There are also positive effects to coming out as well but the negative opinions of some has triumphed across the nation during the last decade. Even though it may seem that our country has come a long way and accepts homosexuals, we still have a long way to go. Why do such stereotypes override the good effects of coming out gay? Coming out as a homosexual improves the quality of life such as making the individual feel confident and happier within. My own experience will serve as an example on how these things can reduce the confidence level in someone that wants to be open to friends, family and loved ones.

Self-acceptance is an extremely prevalent issue that numerous people struggle with. It is one of the hardest to surmount, for it is something I still struggle with to this day. Overall, my journey is a working progress as it will perpetuate to have its downfalls to test me. Like many of my generation, social media has played an excessively paramount role in our lives, both negatively and positively. Sources of harmless entertainment have also unintentionally encouraged self-judgment. Be that as it may, my perspective has been widely opened unexpectedly through a speaker’s presentation as she showed us how to recognize our self-worth. Confidence and self-esteem are hard to acquire for some, but it should not be a quantity you divest yourself of. Self-acceptance of all insecurities and doubts is paramount since every individual has a unique beauty that should be cherished in order to pursue a life full of love and jubilance.

I lied. I told myself that I would be happy to be on my own, but I lied. I need a support group and I need people that understand me. Luckily, I was able to find that here in Stevenson. There is a quote from Robert Ingersoll that I live by, “We rise by lifting others.” Here in Stevenson College and the Self and Society course, we do those exact things. We all learn from each other and every single students insightful comments or conversations help each and everyone of us become greater thinkers, writers, and/or humans in general. I found that in this course, the things that shifted my views the most were not so much the texts themselves, but the people I encountered in the course, from the plenary speakers to my peers who along with me were struggling to wrap their minds around some of the highly complex philosophical and religious texts we covered. I often realized while reading these texts that span over thousands of years, my mind was in a different world. In some cases I was able to place myself into the texts and become enlightened on how to live my life to the fullest and other times the texts made me hurt and realize how vile mankind could be.

People always say “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, especially when meeting new people. However, us being humans—social beings—judge people automatically, the instant that we meet them. Not only is this easy to do, but it also allows us to quickly determine whether we are interested in interacting with a person or not. Sometimes these judgements that we make based on physical appearance or first impressions may not be completely accurate, but a lot of the times, the judgements that are formed may be true. Social cognition— which “concerns how we think about the social world, our attempts to understand complex issues, and why we sometimes are less than ‘optimally rational’”—is very important, especially when it comes to social interaction

Many LGTBTQ people struggle with identity when they are young. Some tell their parents how they really feel and others choose to “stay in the closet”. Either way, the transition for most people is not easy. The panel leaders at the discussion expressed their different journeys of when they “came out” and how family and friends reacted. One of the panel leaders said that when she told her parents that she was gay, they immediately did not want to talk about it. Some other panel leaders said that their parents blew up about it at first and now they have become more accepting. Some of the common phrases that most friends and family members have told them were “it is just a phase”, “you have not been with the right man yet”, and “you are going to hell”. Most of the panel leaders said that when they “came out” it put a strain on their family relationships. The transgender woman said that she has not been to any Thanksgiving or Christmas gatherings because of the rejection she has felt from her family. She also does not really speak to her dad anymore. Another panel leader, who is a lesbian, said that her mom has met her girlfriend but is still not that accepting of her lifestyle. She said her mom’s biggest question is “Are you going to marry a woman?’. She also does not like to be around her extended family because they always “throw bible scriptures at her”. One thing I found interesting was that all the panelists had in common was that they all have had issues with their family acceptance of who they are, but they feel like they have found a home within the LGBTQ community here at Mississippi State. This is important because Mississippi State embraces diversity. Even though there is still more work to be done to increase diversity and inclusion, many people still can find an organization they can identify with and grow as a person in their own beliefs and