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Response To Feedback

Decent Essays
I plan to revise my paper to ensure that the message I was trying to convey gets across efficiently. To ensure that the modifications I make in the plan are efficient I will need to make these changes in my paper:
• Relate the issue of segregation and diversity in the classroom
• Come up with a unique plan
• Elaborate on the main issues in the plan
The purpose of this is to use the strategies that we went over in class to correctly revise my paper to make my plan clearer so that the reader can have better understanding on the subject that I am trying to convey.
Response to Feedback
In your feedback noticed you mentioned that I need to put emphasis on the authors main claim, target audience and the solutions that he proposes. I will do this by
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Reading it out will allow me to catch any little mistakes that I can easily fix myself. Printing it out will ensure that I have a paper copy that I can make changes on so that I will not get confused when I am modifying my plan. Lastly going to the writing lab will help me by showing me what I am doing wrong in person and help me actually fix what is wrong. Having someone help me one on one is extremely helpful for me because I am a person who learns better when I can see if for myself. The writing lab will also boost my grade on the paper which is always a bonus.
Additional Questions One of the comments you made was, ‘The steps you propose are all ones I suggested in my example about changing syllabi in Renaissance literature classes. When you revise this paper, you will need to come up with a unique plan…” I was wondering could you provide me with an example on how to change my plan to make it less like yours? Lastly do you believe that making the changes on my plan to make it less like yours would defeat the purpose of the essay? If so why? If not so
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