The Essence Of Life Throughout My Life

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The Essence of Life Throughout my life, I have always struggled with the concept of meaning; since I can remember I have suffered from depression. For many years I believed that I did not have a purpose, that God had abandoned me. These thoughts came from anger and resentment of everything and everyone around me. Because my emotions and mental state were negative, everything in my life had a negative outcome. Everything in my mind was everyone else’s fault, all I could focused on was how easy everyone else had it, and how difficult things were for me. Through this I began to question the meaning of my life, and the purpose I had on this world. My depression fueled this belief, that god had abandon me, and therefore I had no purpose. My …show more content…

I do not learn by being yelled at, I can not read something once and understand it, I ask questions that are not in the textbook. I struggled because I believed that something was wrong with me. That God had made me this way to suffer, to be told I am not normal by teachers, and to be dissected and examined by psychologist for learning problems that I did not have. Ironically, it was not the children who brought damage to me, but the teachers. The teachers bothered me more because these were grown adults, who had higher education, yet mentally abused their students with close-minded vain gratification. I could not see any positivity in a God who lets teachers, abuse their students. Because teachers are supposed to reach the hearts of children, inspire students to learn and advance themselves. Teachers have one of the most crucial jobs, they are responsible for our future; which intern, impacts the worlds forthcoming. Finding God, was difficult for me because of my anger and resentment toward him. I had believed that he abandoned me, and therefore I saw no purpose in fining him, but without God I had no purpose. I was lost without God, I had no one to put my faith in. Before I found God, I was saved by my mother; the only person who saw the potential I had. She fought for me; and without her fight, I would not be here. When I was eleven, my teacher insisted on me attending a

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