The Girl's Monologue

“She had long dark hair in pigtails, and her eyes were too wide apart. Her lips were full enough, but she was even skinnier than a new pretty.”

“The worst,” Wolfgang spits. “She loved him, I don’t know why, but she did. And now all I have to remember her is the expression he wore after he beat her to death.”

“There, we can see your beautiful face again,” she says, depositing the washcloth into the murky water, and extracts the bandages and tape from the medical kit. “It's not bleeding, but knowing you, you'll figure a way to open it up again.” She grins.

The morning was foggy and I could see the front of my school through my window. It was a nice sight to see. I walked into the kitchen to make myself a bowl of cereal and there she was with her head down on the table. I could tell that she arrived a couple of hours ago because the tears hadn’t dried from her cheeks yet. I got myself ready gave her a kiss on her forehead and headed off to school. I had walked into class eager to see what my teacher Mrs. Padron had in store for today. Every single day there was something new to learn and there’s something about that infinite nature of learning that really appealed to me as a child. I cherished those 7 hours I spent in class the most I could and I dreaded the mere thought of having to go home where I would have to face the

“Mama!”. She nestled into her mother’s arms. “Why would they do this to me? How could they?”

To say she is shocked to see a teenage girl blonde teenage Barbie lookalike where her 40 year old one night stand should be is an understatement what the fu.... I explain about everything the d.n.a trial the Dr McCormick everything in a high pitched voice of a teenage girl when I finally finished Vera still shocked says what your saying is impossible. No shit I say in a way that seems bitchy. We have to get you to this Dr McCormick. I text her no answer and I call and don't even get an answering machine start to panic I will come back as I start to panic I don't want to be a girl I don't know how to be a girl. I want to be me/John as Vera comes back with unisex sweats. No use putting it off any longer I think as I strip to my birthday suit.

“Yeah, I'm sure she'll never lighten up. Not when I'm around.” A grunt came from my throat. “And that a fact my friend.”

How dare he destroy my flowers, the one thing in my life that is still precious to me, that horrible little boy has something coming. The pain racks by body the more I think about them, he gave them to me and as a wedding present all those years ago. Him, the one man in the whole world who understood me, what life should be like us living how we wanted to, with our precious little daughter. My daughter, the sister of that dreadful little boy reminds me of my own daughter, however my daughter never ran around in boys overalls covered in dirt, hair cut short enough to mimic her brothers. What was her name again Scamp, Scoop? No, Scout, that was it, what a ridiculous name for a girl, of course that not be here really name, however it is not much

Today it finally set in that my diva will be a senior tomorrow. Tomorrow marks one day closer to her graduating high school one day closer to her leaving the nest and one day closer to her venturing out into this scary world we live in. Let’s be honest I’m not ready to let her go. I know she is eager and excited to explore the world, to meet new people and see new things. It seems like yesterday it was her first day of kindergarten and she said to me it’s okay mommy you don’t have to walk me into class I’m a big girl. I remember how I cried like a big baby watching her walk away. I wasn’t prepared for that day. I wasn’t prepared for the scrapes, bruises, tears of joy, heartbreaks, and emotional roller coaster rides that teenagers put you through

“What she has done to *herself, you mean. Never have I ever physically harmed her.”

Oh, how I wanted to say they knew about me being the only girl who had ever won the honor when I had asked each and every last one of them to come. What I got was them telling me it wasn't something important like receiving first place in a beauty pageant or cheering on her school's team. Let’s not forget the celebration they had decided to have on the same night because her little sister Celia came home and told them she had a date with the starting quarterback and captain of the junior varsity football team. I can see now that my mother would soon try to blame me for them not showing up to a place where she could’ve shown off my sisters to important people, especially a movie director.

I awoke to beams of a dozen spotlights, my vision gradually adjusted to the brilliant white light which illuminated everything around me. The realization that I had fallen asleep during rehearsal caused my eyes to widen in utter shock and confusion.

“It got me three days worth of detention, but it was worth it. I can’t stand those jerks over there.” She then nodded towards the bitches and their meatheads. “I would take detention every day for the rest of my life if I could just spit in their faces daily.”

"... she exults so in taking you from me - she's not like ordinary girls."

“Then why did you kill her if you knew you already mad at her, so why did you do it then!”