Christianity in general, considers marriage to be a doctrine. A Christian marriage in The United Methodist Church is not a sacrament. Marriage in the United Methodism reflects Christ’s covenant with the Church, and this further means that people entering a married relationship enter a ‘a sacred covenant reflecting the Baptismal Covenant.’ The congregation gathered that witnesses a wedding celebrates love between a couple, promising them that they would nurture them in their Christian faith as disciples of Christ, and as a community.
What type of pastoral care and attention is required?
Since this a wedding between a Punjabi Indian and a Polish American, officiated by a Pakistani (me), I would need to be careful as not to come across as
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Since the couple has decided not to live with families of either parents, the focus of attention would be the couple. However, it is important that the bride and groom both understand the cultural differences and are able to respect each other’s opinions (in the near future,) so that they do not fall into the pit of misunderstandings, doubts or suspicions about each other’s love or relationship.
1. The Text Selected
- What is the historical background, including author and level of authorship; social, religious, cultural, etc. realities that confront or are confronted by the text in its original setting and functionality in scripture.
- Level of authorship: According to the International Bible Commentary, the name of the author, in this case, the poet is not known. However, R. W. Orr states that the poet might be a woman, for the “The Song regards marriage sensitively from the woman’s point of view.” This is “the genre of Wisdom,” primarily because the Song of Songs is from “the school of Solomon,” and wisdom is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. This song speaks about wisdom.
- Social reality in scripture: The Liberty Bible Commentary states that the text is written from the point of view of a Shulamite maiden. She is the only daughter of her parents. Her father has passed away and therefore; her brothers are responsible for the family maintenance.
Traditional Peranakan culture is one that is matriarchal, and nothing in the house – especially marriage or engagement is to proceed without her express approval. The Asian Culture is very different from the Western one in this aspect
There are various customs and traditions for marriage in United States based on varying factors such as culture, social norms, and religion. There are no unique practices because most of practices are derived from other cultures. The marriage practices and customs revolve around wedding attire, before wedding, wedding ceremony, reception, and after wedding. White bridal dresses are worn with a veil in weddings. However, those not wedding for the first time can choose any color of bridal dresses apart from white. Before a wedding, most have bridal showers where the bride receives gifts from the guests. Preparation takes considerable time to plan a wedding. In a wedding, groomsmen and bridesmaids are included (Lilian, 2013). The bride’s father walks the bride down the aisle to indicate approval of the groom. “The typical 21st century wedding can now feature a supporting cast of stepparents, half-siblings, Dad's new girlfriend and her kids, the bride's first stepfather and his new wife, and sometimes even the bride and groom's ex-spouses” Wedding cakes are used and couples kiss as a form of endearment. Cakes are seen symbols of fertility. It is a custom for the newly married woman to
In America we are known for throwing lavish ceremonies and expensive parties to celebrate the union between two people. I’ve attended quite a few weddings and participated in one during my lifetime thus far. Most weddings in the American culture follow the same itinerary.
Many legal and financial advantages can be attained through marriage. Instead of getting married after high school, people tend to go to college, get their life together, and then marry. The average groom is now thirty-seven and bride thirty-four (Discuss). According to Associated Press Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, “41 percent of spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional.” Couples these days aren’t communicating the proper way. Instead they get mad at each other and ignore one another. One or both people in the relationship have “checked out”, but they don’t want to divorce for the sake of the children. Or they still love each other, valuing each other as a support system and as close friends, but don’t feel that intimacy toward one another. As said in a marriage article from faqs.org, “The study, by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, found that the marriage rate among Americans is at its lowest point ever. Over the last forty years, the rate has fallen forty-three percent. In addition, fewer people are reporting themselves as being “very happy” in their marriages.” Today, most wedding ceremonies involve a religious service, which contains many traditional features that are significant to their cultures. Christian’s services contain wording that has been unchanged since the
Marriage is a significant part of Judaism bringing together a woman and man under God’s reign. It is the mitzvah (122) “To marry a wife by means of ketubah and keddushin” (Deut 22:13), all Jewish adherents see marriage as a necessity in order to obey God and to experience the fullness of life. In Genesis God says: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” It is a link between individuals and the wider community as it recognises two individuals coming together, celebrated by the wider community. Also the marriage ceremony itself contains symbolic significance to Judaism, conveying Jewish beliefs through symbols, actions and words.
I was fifteen years old when I first saw a wedding ceremony in Mexico. All the people in the church were happy and animated. Everybody was sitting and waiting for the bride to arrive. The groom looked nervous and excited. Finally the bride arrived to the church, everybody was clapping and smiling to her; it was so beautiful to see that two persons were about to join their lives forever. However, nobody could imagine all the effort that the couple did to make the ceremony wedding happen. When a couple wants to marry, the first step to do is to ask for the bride. In Mexico, the tradition is that the groom and his parents visit the family’s bride. Usually the meeting is to have permission of her parents and to start planning
The song of songs it is a well-known but not so well understood book of the Bible, it’s 8 chapters of love poetry and while there are an introduction and a conclusion, the book doesn’t have any kind of rigid literary design and that’s because it is a collection of poems. They are not meant to be dissected or taken apart. They are meant to be read as a flowing whole and simply enjoyed. The first line of the book tells us that it is “the song of songs” which is a Hebrew idiom like, “the holy of holies” or “the king of kings” it is a Hebrew way of saying, “the greatest thing,” this is the greatest song of all songs. We are told in the first line that this “song of songs” is of Solomon, which could mean that he is the author, his name does begin the book after all. But as I read the poems, I discover that the main voice of a woman, called “the beloved.” And while there is also a male voice, it does not seem to be Solomon. Solomon is mentioned a couple times in the poem, but he’s never a speaker, and you do have to admit Solomon is a very strange candidate as the author of this book, given the facts that he seven hundred wines. The “of Solomon” likely means “in the wisdom tradition of Solomon,” he was known for his wisdom, his poetry, his love of learning about every part of life. Also, Solomon became the father of wisdom literature in Israel, his legacy is here carried on, through a collection of love poems that explore the human experience of love and sexual desire. The opening
Khoobsurat Lal and Chase Stephen are a young couple getting married. Both are in their early thirties. Khoobsurat works as a wedding planner in Chicago while Chase is an engineering student, doing his internship at the Fienberg School of Medicine. For both, it is their first marriage. Both have membership in a non-denominational church, but have approached me, a United Methodist pastor for their wedding. This has two reasons. Khoobsurat is a dear friend, who knew me when she first came to the U.S., and attended the church where I was serving as an intern then, while Chase attended the same church where I did my cross-cultural experience when I was a seminary student. Khoobsurat is the Indian bride and the only one among her family members in the U.S. She has no other friends or relatives in the U.S., except a few acquaintances.
If they were to meet each other without the parent’s permission, it is considered as bad manner and bad upbringing. In India, the average age to marry is 24 years old for the males and 22 to 23 years old for the females. Indian weddings are usually the longest wedding, which are held in the night time in a huge wedding hall, that includes many different rituals which are performed in front of the God and the couple promise’s each other that they will be together in a sad or a happy moment, no matter what will be the results. Even though wedding has the same meaning in every culture, the way of celebration and ceremony is different. According to iloveindia.com, the ceremony in India is about the priest, groom, bride, and bride’s parents sit beneath a mandap, and a canopy. The wedding ceremony starts off with the Kanya Daan, in which the bride’s parents give away the bride’s hand to the groom with all her responsibility. Then the couple holds hands together and start circling around a small, enclosed fire in a ritual called the mangal phera for seven times by taking a seven oaths together to spend a rest of the life to live as a one soul. The seven steps around the enclosed fire, is the vow to support each other and live happily together. Finally, the groom will apply a red powder to the center of the bride’s forehead and tie a black beaded necklace around her neck, symbolizing
Depending on the parents, qualifications can consist of areas such as age, physical features, beliefs, occupation and much more. For example, in one situation, a sister and brother-in-law invited correspondences from North Indian professionals only and preferred that the man be an immigrant doctor who was between 26-29 years, for their relative. (Nanda 623). Sometimes the bride and groom will meet one time for a brief conversation, but in most cases the bride and groom’s first appearance of each other is at their wedding (Nanda 624). However, some parents are becoming more lenient in this area and allowing their son or daughter to meet at least one time before making any final marital arrangements to see if the two individuals are in agreement to get married to one another. This is not like a date in the United States where a couple goes out to dinner and to a movie and hangs out. This is more like a formal meeting, chaperoned by a guardian. It is sometimes classified as “having tea” together. As Americans, we probably think this is an absurd way of getting married but those in India find arranged marriages by their parents very satisfying and a better way to choose a spouse.
My faith tradition informs my theology of pastoral care as that a pastor has an authority in the pastoral care relationship. The pastor’s image in my faith tradition is an advisor, director, and guide. In my faith tradition, the lay people like to have the pastoral care, when they make important decisions. Since my culture is the hierarchal and patriarch system, the lay people believes that pastors are better to know about God’s will. Therefore, the lay people are too much depending on the pastor’s advices, and taking pastor’s perspective, rather than choosing what they want. There is no space to listen their inner voice in the pastoral care in my faith tradition. My theology of pastoral care in my faith tradition was that what Jesus did is what we should do. Because of my traditional ideal of pastoral care, I thought pastors have to know everything and be better than others until becoming like Jesus. However, I realized that the theology can be dangerous to look down the lay people and non-Christians, and is not helpful for the pastors and the lay people as well. I think it is important to remember in my tradition that the head of the church is the only one, Jesus, and we are all the body of Christ. There is the better part in the body of Christ. We are all the same and we need each other.
The Islamic and Hindu religions have an array of similarities and differences regarding their customs and laws in relation to the ‘wedding ceremony’.
My theological of pastoral care and pastoral counseling I will view all the human being as it was written in the beginning with Genesis 1:27: "And God created man to his own image: to the image of God he created him: male and female he created them." As I know the creation of human being, therefore, my pastoral care and pastoral counseling will also views all human being as spiritual and bodily creatures created by God. As a result, my priority in pastoral care and pastoral counseling is that I was called into relationship with God and with one another. the same way my counseling session with client my main goal with he / her as a clients is to meet them where they are at now in their trials, tribulations, and suffering; we also celebrate their moments of personal growth, self-awareness, discovery, and change. As a pastoral counselor, the stakes are changed in the sense that there is an additional responsibility to look after the client’s journey in towards spiritual growth and a more mature faith. We seek to aid in the process of humanization, psychological wholeness, and well-being where we desire to give our client’s a taste of what is means to be “a fully functioning, free, consciously aware, responsible, and loving” individual. God did not create human beings to suffer any evil; that was the fault of man. Therefore, the ultimate questions I will ask of my clients are these: “What part is God playing in the story of your life?” and “What is God asking of you in this
Marriage is a significant social event in contemporary society. It is a means of building new bonds between two individuals and their subsequent families. The foundations of memorable weddings are built on those that bring often-distant family and friends together for the occasion, while dressed in their most sophisticated attire, surrounded by elegant flowers, a night of dancing, captured through the lens of an exceptional photographer. Although Hinduism and Islam are two extremely distinctive religions, their matrimonial customs do share some comparable elements, like most other cultural wedding ceremonies. In both religions, they are devotedly obedient concerning religious and cultural practices in their marital ceremonies.
In the summer of 2017, I worked at a place called, Canadian Linen & Uniform Service. This job gave me the biggest experience I’ve ever had with people of other races/ethnicities, religion, and socioeconomic class. During my short employment at Canadian Linen I got to work alongside some amazing women from all around the globe. Many of the women were from India, Kenya, Mexico and Iran. I learned so many things about different cultures. One lady named Simran explained to me the difference in marriage between Indian culture and Canadian culture. She described that her and her husband were together through an arranged marriages. This meant that her parents chose the man she would marry. I asked her if she was happy with the man her parents chose and she said yes. However, she told me that she will not chose who her children marry. Instead she will allow her children to chose and then herself and her husband will make the final decision if her child can marry that person. This cultural difference allowed me to understand how much the Indian cultural places importance on family. They respect their families decision so much that they will live the rest of their life with someone based on what their parents want rather then what they themselves want. Another difference I experience at Canadian Linen, was how there’s, not only a big language barrier when communicating with people from different countries, but there’s also a difference in the way they communicate. When I was