I feel so alone. Like part of me is always stressing about if I’ll ever make new friends while I start my freshman year in high school. I am going to a whole different high school than all my other friends back at my middle school. I’m so worried that I won’t succeed in my HTSP exam. I’m so worried that I would have to sit all alone in an empty table during lunch, not knowing anyone at all. You see, the more I realize how alone I am, the more I feel it. Every time I am depressed, I want to have someone there for me, not just a random friend that I go to whenever I am feeling sad and next year later they are gone. I want someone to be there for me, for a life time. I want to know that they will listen to how I am feeling and actually give me …show more content…
I don’t want to be thinking if I would fail or not. I am not confident at all with myself to be honest, but I want to be. I want to be intelligent, successful, full of happiness. But I know that part of that will never happen. I can’t always be happy, I will always have different emotions all miscellaneous together even if I am clueless of why I feel this way. I want to be happy. I want to finish high school. I want to go to college. But I want to be an actress. I want to act in different movies. I want to play different characters, even characters I am opposite from. I want to be known. I want to feel known. I also want to become a singer, but I don’t think I have a certain brain to create songs like Sia does, or like Katy Perry. Although I have a sudden urge to type how I feel about things, I most likely just fail. I never kept a diary for more than two days. I can type how I feel in less than 5 minutes. The thing is I am so confused, angry, depressed, stressed, lack of conscious, that I don’t know who I am anymore. I lost myself completely. I have forgotten what I have stood for. I am so angry all the time and I have no idea why. I am depressed when I don’t want to
Figure out your purpose in life. If your aspirations do not scare you I want you to dream some more! Complacency in your current situation will not allow you to reach those dreams. Think unconventionally, find your true voice, and use it to impact not only your life but those around
My transition into high school was as easy as taking a breath. I had always found school quiet easy and I never had to put much effort into getting promising grades. Before high school I had my whole life figured out, or at least I thought I did. I had planned that I would attend a law school or major in English. After a while of being in high school I started to realize many things. My parents did not have the financial stability to send me to a law school, I was not as smart as all the other kids, little by little I began struggling with a negative mentality about myself and my future. I slowly let go of my dream of becoming a lawyer and decided to join the Health Careers Academy. Soon enough, I began to have a deep interest in the medical field but then again I continued to have the same question; how can I afford going to a medical school? I did not know much about college or what it took to get into college. I assumed I just had to have a pretty transcript and that was all it took. My self confidence began to lower as I saw how other students cruised through their high school years so effortlessly. I never wanted to ask for help because I did not want to seem “dumb”. I would bite my tongue and hold in all the unanswered questions I had. My junior year, I was having a very difficult time. I had a tight schedule which consisted of almost all AP or honors courses. I slowly began to give up because I did not believe that I could do it. I let my grades slip failing almost
Loneliness is an emotion that people know all too well, and it is different for each person While many people see loneliness akin or solitude or the act being alone, it is more of a state of mind. It causes people to feel alone, empty, and unwanted. People who are lonely want to make a connection with others, but due to their state of mind it is difficult to make friends. While spending time alone can offer a rich psychological experience, too much isolation can have a negative impact on one’s life.
“We all dream a lot - some are lucky, some are not. But if you think it, want it, dream it, then it’s real. You are what you feel.” - Tim Rice
Depression is a hard disorder to live with especially as a teenager but it isn’t impossible. It can be treated using antidepressants, therapy, a specialist and many more other successful treatments. Finding a friend can help tremendously because in some cases the person doesn’t feel comfortable talking to a parent, guardian or a specialist.
Over the course of the year, I have opened up to so many new people. I decided to open up and invite a bunch of girls over to my house one night to have a girls night and watch movies. These girls and I now have been best friends ever since that night. This experience taught me that opening up and stepping out of my comfort zone was all I needed to enjoy my senior year. Of course I had a few friends before all of this, but now I believe I have found my true, forever friendships. Now I don’t have to worry about feeling alone in an emotional situation, because I will always have a group of people to go to during my hard
I told myself I had to be me not who people wanted me to be. With time, I started to hang out with new people, a new group. I acted like myself with them. They pulled the best out of me and helped me accept who I was. I wouldn't be alone anymore. They were there
I'm a 15 year old teenager, who as I like to call it, is mentally interesting. I have my own Blurryface. My own insecurities. I struggle with High-Functioning depression and both General and social anxiety, so life is a struggle for me. And what makes it hardest, is that inner voice that convinces me that I don't have what it takes to make it through this life.
When I was just figuring out what was happening, I was never happy. Every time I laughed or smiled, it wasn’t genuine. Not being happy as a child was really tough because I saw all my friends smiling and laughing and I was always jealous of that. My anxiety was basically taking over my life, so I tried to not let it be as bad as it was. As I got older, it got worse, but my confidence was more evident. Starting junior high, I was still struggling with the anxiety and my insecurities. I remember on the first day of school I sat in the bathroom for lunch because I didn't have any friends and I didn't want to eat with someone I didn't know. I soon made friends and didn't worry about having an anxiety attack every day at lunch. Making new friends has always been a hard thing for me. I can't simply go up to someone and start a conversation with them without feeling my blood rushing through my body or feeling like I’m bothering them. My mom always tells me to “make new friends”, but I don't think she realizes that I literally can't. I have no idea how I have friends right now because I can't talk to
I am not a writer. Writing an essay feels painful, I never know whether my work is sufficient or up to par with the standards. In math, 1+1=2. There is no debate, argument, or discussion. In writing, there is no right answer and it is not always accepted by everyone. I am scared. I am uncertain. The last sixteen years, I struggled viewing myself in a positive way. Being an only child and having to live in a basement for so many years made me crawl in a hole and isolate myself from the world around me. When I was younger and saw kids playing sports, instruments, or activities, all I could think was “I wish I could do that.” I was not exposed to the world as most of my friends were, I did not have anyone to play sports or games with. My mom works two janitorial jobs so she was either working or just
It’s seems to me like nobody wanted to see me graduating but I had to much confident in myself to let people see my failure that wasn’t going to happen I had something to prove. All I could picture in my head is my cap and gown, that stage of me walking across my assistant principal always use to pick and talk down on me she told me I won’t graduate from Chamberlain. She used to find something to suspend me about such as wearing crazy shirts, too much money on me also my tank tops. Also me not passing my reading test stop me from getting my diploma and starting college. Sometimes I feel everything be going wrong so that I won‘t success and be somebody in life but I’m going keep striving until get what I want and that’s to start school. For example I had to do the Penn foster program so that I can get my credits in reading for the questions I missed so I started going to school every day and week just to get my 5 credits. Finally I achieved getting my credits so that I can start school but the only thing I keep having to do is to edit my essay it’s like I wanted to rip out my lungs and cry because I came a long way and I keep giving it my all and keep having to do the essay over and over, but I’m not giving up I got to keep putting effort in my work till I reach the
During this time in my life, I wasn’t close to anyone at my school. I had a few friends, but no one I could really talk to about my feelings. When I did tell my friends about my sadness they weren’t of any support to me. I even heard one girl say behind my
My school thought me that we can be more religious, discipline, and smart at the same time. Honestly, i can't fit in with that school but yeah what should i do at that time? I just can't do anything, i'm doing something like I'm not doing anything. I don't have a lot of friends, i don't go to course because I'm to lazy, but now i'm regret everything at all. I'm not going to Medicine College like i want before. Like my parents really want me to be a doctor, but I'm just too lazy and not get that things seriously. At my senior year, i almost give up with all the subject. I really hate school, i hate senior year. But, I missed a lot of school. I sank back into a depression and began to struggle with my own anxiety. We moved a few times and my grades dropped lower and lower, but I didn’t
I was once a problematic kid who mixed with bad company and flunk tests. I never thought about what I was going to do the next day, what more when I grew up. Of course when I was younger, I had lots of dreams. I wanted to set up my own company, I wanted to be a teacher, I wanted to be able to drive an airplane and the list went on. But as the years went by, they became less insignificant to me and soon, I forgot every single one of those dreams and goals. I got to a new school and knew friends who smoke and took drugs. My grades started dropping from “A” to fails. But I did not care. I could not be bothered by then. I went partying every night and got home drunk. What was the point of studying? My parents are
People’s self-esteem either high or low is shaped by their life experiences. I believe a person’s self-esteem begins to take shape at an early age, with their parents being a major influence. Kind, positive, knowledgeable and caring parents help children create a positive self-image. Parents who do not feel good about themselves or others, sometimes take it out on their childern by belittling them or discouraging them. This leads the child down a path of self-doubt and eventually given the right circumstances a lower self-esteem.