Women's Relationships with Men in "Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives"

Women in relationships lose hold of their identity. Too often, women merge their lives with their partners, because they feel guilty. This leads women to give up significant parts of their life such as hobbies, values or beliefs and social life. This paper will closely examine the reasoning for changes in women within a relationship and how to avoid them.

Friends and family especially show concern for their female friends who are in unhealthy relationships. According the article by Layne Wood (Why do Battered Women Stay in Abusive Relationships?), writing for Live Strong, each abusive relationship is different and there are numerous reasons why women feel stuck in an abusive situation. Some women may think that an abusive relationship is normal because it’s the only type of relationship they have been exposed to. Women may believe that its normal to be abused and tolerate it if they grew up in an abusive environment. This environment my lead to a decrease in self-esteem.” One hallmark of an abusive partner is that he convinces the woman she is worthless or undesirable and that no one else would ever want her. The abuser often convinces the woman that the abuse is her fault” (Wood). Women may also be in a constant state of fear. This will prevent her from attempting to escape the abuse. Abusers may threaten her life as well as the lives of those who are important to her including himself. Some women may be dependent on a man in their life. If a woman goes from man to man they may have a hard time ending a toxic relationship because they are more afraid of being alone then being in a healthy and safe

Being in a relationship is like being in a roller coaster, sometimes you enjoy the ride, sometimes you don’t. Even with the passing of the years, this statement hasn’t had considerable changes. Many women see themselves trapped in relationships they are not satisfied with. While a few of them look for solutions in order to live a pleasant life, the majority resign themselves to stay in distressed affiliations.

Central Idea: Abusive relationships start out as the most intensely wonderful relationships, the abuser is perfect in every way. Abuse doesn 't start over night it is a long slow process. First they tear apart your self esteem and isolate you so you have no one to turn to. They pick you apart and make you feel like the lowest slime on the planet. Then they abuse you and when its done they bring you flowers and tell you that it will never happen again and for a while there is that perfect relationship again. Abusive relationships are insanity because they are the worst

In situations of domestic abuse, most women worry about the safety of their children or others before their personal safety.

Throughout the years, there have been immense efforts to expand knowledge about the experiences women have endured in violent relationships. The emergence of internal, external risk factors, correlates, and causes of intimate partner violence has increased rapidly in recent decades. Although there has been a rise in many supportive groups, there are still various barriers that exist and prohibit women from seeking help to detach themselves from a violent relationship. In reading Roz story, I have learned of the many barriers to understand, “why couldn’t she just leave?” Although this question may have no straight answer and may even have hindered implications, I feel that patriarchy plays a role in this intimate partner violence. The

Women will continue to suffer from domestic violence unless there is some sort of intervention to help them. When dealing with this population, it is essential to create a safe environment where the woman can talk freely about the abuse without any retaliation from the abuser. When someone comes into a therapeutic session, everyone deserves to be treated with respect and care. This in turn will create a sense of hope that a different type of life can be possible. Also, knowing that there is a support system can help the woman begin the process of change. Despite this, the process of leaving the abusive partner is slow (Warshaw, n.d.)

Domestic Violence has always been an issue circulating women living in the United States. Alas, not many women realize the harm they are living because they are blinded by fear their partner creates for them to live by each and every day. Historically, many relationships and marriages have gone through many years of Domestic abuse, but yet have not recognized the signs of an abusive relationship. A 2014 survey ordained by the National Violence Against Women found that 25% of all women have been physically forced to have intimacy with their partner at some point during their relationship (Simmons, Catherine. A., et al. 2011). The changes within domestic abuse begin to occur with threats and verbal abuse, which later run the risk of involving

Some women suffer such severe abuse, where they have no one to turn to, even their

Some women take the position that “hope springs eternal” for people in love and they shouldn’t be held accountable for the abusive spousal choices they make. That is precisely the kind of romantic notion that men and women cling to and use to seduce them into staying in relationships in which there is abundant evidence that they should leave. Often friends and parents try to intervene but when “hope springs eternal” obvious dangers are overlooked, denied and women tell themselves something like, “If I just love him enough, he’ll change.” Battered men usually say exactly the same things. “What is needed in situations of verbal and physical abuse and danger is not romantic fantasy but a critical and self-protective assessment of the facts followed by a decision based on those facts”(Walker 17).

In addition to all these reasons to why women stay in abusive relationships, is because women lose their self-esteem and eventually don’t have the energy to leave.

According to statistics found by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Every nine seconds a woman is abused by her husband or intimate partner. At least 1 in every 4 women and 1 in every 9 men have been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in their lifetime. Most often the abuser is one of their own family. Domestic violence is a problem that somehow affects every one of us in this room at some time and is actually the leading cause of injury to women -- more than car accidents, muggings and rapes combined.

Domestic violence isn’t just towards women, but is also a large issue against men ("When it"). This issue seems to be very underminded and society becomes one sided on the topic ("When it"). Cindy Boren from the Washington Post proves this saying “According to a 2010 study by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 5 million men had been domestically abused in the prior year. And the same study found 40 percent of cases of severe domestic violence were perpetrated on men. About 1 in 4 women (24.3 percent) and 1 in 7 men (13.8 percent) have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner.”("When it"). Violence is violence period, and it is all wrong regardless of gender.

Every year in the United States, One in four women are victims of the domestic violence; however, this is only based on what has been reported to the department of justice (Stahly 2008). While men are also victims of domestic violence, women are more often the victims. Moreover, 90% of domestic violence is male initiated. In severe cases domestic violence ends with victims being murdered. More specifically, domestic violence resulted in 2,340 deaths in the United States in 2007, and 70% of those killed were females (CDC 2012). Many people think that victims have the option of leaving and many people blame victims for putting up with the abuse; what many people don 't know is, victims of domestic violence have many reasons preventing them from leaving their abusers, these reasons include, isolation, having children bounding them with the abuser and lack of financial support. "It 's never pretty when you leave an abusive and controlling relationship. The warden always protests when a prison gets shut down," says Dr. Steve Maraboli (qtd from web). Whether a victim stays or leaves their abuser, the outcomes of both situations are not always as easy as many people predict. In some situations, the outcomes of leaving may be very dangerous for both the victim and her children.

According to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, the abused stay in domestic relationships due to fear, embarrassment, low self-esteem, love, and believing that the abuse is normal. For me, these are all true.