Shreya Brahmbhatt
Mrs. Vescelius
AP Language and Composition
09 April, 2015
Arranged Marriage: A Choice
We have always been told to take the path take that will guide us to a better future. We have been asked numerous questions about what are majors will be in college, at what age do we see ourselves settled down and married. I too have been asked, but not the reaction I had expected. This conversation came up when I was talking to a group of friends where I had been asked if I would agree to an arranged marriage, due to my ethnicity. Just as I had answered yes, more questions and comments were hurled my way. “Aren’t arranged marriages loveless marriage, you’re okay with that?” “Are you really going to be forced to marriage a stranger?” “Don’t those only happen in India?” If we were to ask the question, “what is marriage?”, we would be likely say that it is the bond between a husband and a wife or recite the dictionary definition: “the legally recognized union of a man and a woman as partners in a relationship.” So what is an arranged marriage? If we search the internet, an arranged marriage, according to Webster dictionary, is “a marriage in which the husband and wife are chosen for each other by their parents.” Yet Oxford dictionary and Google, the most common search engine used around the world, describes arranged marriages as “a marriage planned and agreed to by the families or guardians of the bride and groom, who have little or no say in the matter themselves.” On
Arranged marriages in Indian society have been the norm for many centuries. Even today, an overwhelming majority of Indian people have their married arranged by their parents, or respected family members.As American we never really contemplate the idea of having someone choose our life-long partner. That’s not the case in other nations such as India, arranged marriage in India is a very common practice, yet here in the United States arranged marriages are frowned upon. We believe that everyone has the right to choose who they want to spend their lived with. Although I believe that we should be free to make our own choices I also can see what the advantages and disadvantages of an arranged
Arranged Marriage vs. Free-choice Marriage"Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry" (Tom Mullen, 2005, p.1). It is argued that free-choice marriages based on love or romance, offer more independence and freedom as compared to arranged marriages where the man and woman are chosen by the parents and so there is pressure and is not so suitable and independent. However, no marriage is necessarily an ideal sort of marriage. Therefore, it becomes difficult to predict the ideal sort of marriage. The decision is upon the individual, whether he or she wants to be part of an arrange or free-choice marriage. There are two main types of marriages that are practiced in various societies and
Fifteen-year-old girl in Afghanistan and forced to marry a forty-year-old man. Not ready for that commitment. The wedding takes place tomorrow. In Afghanistan, young girls face this problem every day. Parents of young Afghan girls arrange their daughters to marry an older men which often ties in with domestic violence. In Afghanistan, arranged marriages do not take place because the two people have found a love for one another, but rather create domestic violence.
It was a bit difficulty for me to choose a topic for this assignment as I had many in my mind. At the end I decided to write on forced arranged marriage after I came across a news article that one of my friends sent to me. The news article, which was published on the news-press.com, talked about how a 13 years old Florida girl was married to a man and it was not a love marriage but an arranged marriage. The girls wedding was arranged by her parents when she was 13 years old and gave birth at the age of 14 and the father of the girl stated that he wished his daughter was obedient (Zeitlin, 2017). The news was a bit shocking to me as it took place in America, but there are
First of all, every culture has different customs implemented on its community. This is especially evident in “Matrimony with a Proper Stranger”, which details the circumstances of arranged marriage and its application in Indian life.
In the realm of Afghan marriage, women are sometimes granted the opportunity for an arranged marriage, although consequences may still ensue. Arranged marriage is just one of the many ways women are married off in Afghanistan, as well as other countries around the world. The women, who were groomed for marriage from birth, are sought after by the suitor’s relatives. The same goes for the suitors, although the men are often the ones who instigate and ask for the woman’s hand in marriage. While it may seem obvious why the two are marrying, they may happen for different reasons. “There are two types of arranged marriages in the Afghan society: those conducted for the sincere happiness of the couple, and those that resemble business transactions conducted primarily as a means to settle deals with families,” (Bashir 1). Sometimes the woman and man find each other and are pleased with one another. This is similar to Tariq and Laila’s relationship in that they found love together and their families approved it. However, it is known that things do not work out for the two at the time. Although some of the arranged marriages end happily, there is another side to them. Sometimes poor families sell off their daughters to pay off a debt or settle a feud. While these women are technically given the option to refuse, it does not come without consequences. Journalist Hannah Spruce explores this idea in further detail when she emphasizes that, “Some children who refuse to consent may find
Love is portrayed in society as a perfect bond between two people and that they live happily ever after but that is not always the case. In the story “Once upon a Time in a Tent” written by Tim Neville talks about his time living in a tent in his backyard and his journey through his three relationships. In the story “The Arranged Marriage” written by Mira Jacob she talks about how her parents are in an arranged marriage and never showed any affection towards each other.
In the book, Arranged Marriage, by Chitra Divakaruni there are multiple stories that demonstrate arranged marriages from within the Indian culture. In some cases, arranged marriages work out better than others. However, in the short stories in her book, most don’t work out positively. In the short stories, “The Bats” and “The Disappearance”, the arranged marriages don’t work out. Chitra Divakaruni’s viewpoint on arranged marriages is clearly negative, due to violence, and the effect on children.
The author begins with the basics of marriages in India, explaining that arranged marriages are so common that marriages not setup have a special term. She goes on to speak of how the couples set to wed usually do not meet before the ceremony and that if they do, it is for only a momentary conversation after the decisions have been made. However, she points out, that if one person objects to the match that the parents agreed to, they do not have to wed.
Is there real love existing in an arranged marriage? Are arranged marriages successful in the long-term? These are some questions that many people think about before entering one. But, what exactly is an arranged marriage? According to New World Encyclopedia, an arranged marriage is, “a marriage which involves the parents in a process of selecting marriage partners for their children, with or without the help of a matchmaker.” (New World Encyclopedia) (show visual). You don’t hear the term ‘arranged marriage’ quite often here in North America. Why? Well, mainly because it’s rare in this part of the world. Where it is common though is in the Middle East. They have strong cultural traditions and values, and do not allow themselves to necessarily
Some cringe at the third world thought of arranged marriage. However, Ji Hyun Lee’s article in The New York Times titled, “Modern Lessons From Arranged Marriages”, begins to raise questions concerning how lessons from this culturally unique phenomenon may be able to aid in non-arranged marriages in the United States with the help of experts. Michael J. Rosenfeld, associate sociology professor at Stanford University claims, “I don’t think love marriage and arranged marriage are as different as we make them out to be.” He asserts that the concept of “love marriage” mimics the ancient art of pairing in “arranged marriages,” stating that individuals end up being partnered with another whom is similar to themselves in regards to race, religion, class background, and age. Senior Research Psychologist, Robert Epstein found that parental involvement is the key to a strong arranged marriage, as the parents screen for potential deal breakers in the couples’ relationship. Many in successful arranged marriages attribute the success of their union to their parents’ involvement. Dr. Epstein notes that in a nation such as the US, we celebrate independence and freedom of choice, which is likely the reason why so many view arranged marriages with such unwavering hesitation. Although he admits that the tradition of arranged marriages does not hold much hope in gaining acceptance today, he notes an undeniable fact: when 40-50% of all American marriages end in divorce, there is logic in
Very intresting Im not going to lie I enjoyed reading your piece its always good to look at things from a different perspective. I no longer feel as strongly as I did about arranged marriages being wrong, but Im still not for them. I feel that people need to experience for themselves the search of a mate and being in different types of realtionships and what they want in a partner. I think that no amount of counseling can prepare someone for an arranged marriage especially since you dont know that particular person all that well and in my experience after moving in with my wife who at the time was my girlfriend I learned alot of things i didnt know about her and for some the negative may out weigh the positive and cause
In modern culture and fully developed nations, the ideology of an arranged marriage is a foreign concept, but in reality the global percentage of arranged marriages is 60 (Toledo 1). Although the majority of these arranged marriages occur in Asian countries such as India and China, this type of matrimony should also be prominently implemented into the society of modernized nations like the United States. Before arranged marriages can completely fuse into industrialized cultures, one must fully understand the concept of an arranged marriage. As commonly thought, parents do not always select the marital partners in arranged marriages; spouses can also be chosen by a community, elders, matchmakers, or religious leaders ("Arranged...
One of the main reasons that Indian parents firmly believe in arranged marriages is because they find these marriages to last the longest and be the most satisfying. Their argument is that in an arranged marriage “it takes time and effort to know, understand, accept, and love each other; a whole lifetime” (Marriages in Heaven). A study was done in 1996 with twenty-five Indian couples in arranged marriages, twenty-five Indian couples in love marriages, and twenty-five American couples in compassionate marriages. They asked these couples to score how satisfied they were with their marriage and relationship.
Marriage is a union that has been around for as long as humans have walked the earth. The human race depends upon the union of its members, and as such, the subject of marriage has been an issue that receives more intense scrutiny and attention than many would likely believe. In today's day and age, with humanity continuing to move in a modern direction, many argue that marriage is a union that should be entered into freely and should be based exclusively on the love between two people. However, I argue that arranged marriage, which has taken place throughout the ages and throughout the world, is a union that offers its observers a marriage based in support, longevity and love, and is an institution that should not be frowned upon.