Conflict Management: a Reaction Paper

3228 WordsOct 24, 201213 Pages
Seven Attitudes to Dissolve Conflicts By Daniel Robin If you notice yourself getting dug in or angry in the face of differing views, ask for a time out and step out of the content for a moment and notice if you are presently moving toward your true goal. If not, or if the situation is just getting too uncomfortable, check to see which of the seven strategies shown below would be most helpful in turning your conflict into collaboration. 1. Define what the conflict is about. Studies on spousal disputes showed that about 75% of the time, partners are fighting about different issues. Ask the other person "What’s the issue?" then "What’s your concern here?" or "What do you feel we are fighting about?" Eventually ask "What do you want to…show more content…
Gaining Leverage Let’s assume you have to work together, or perhaps you're in a relationship you value for some other reason. If you are holding a negative opinion about the other person, you could just go directly for what you want: for them to hear you, see it your way, and perhaps to change their behavior. Directly confronting the issue by telling them what you think will clear it for you, but might not get your true message across. Why? Because there are two components; there's the content of your message ("You missed another deadline") and your feelings about that message ("... and I'm sick and tired of it."). What's your true intention in making the other person aware of your view? Being overly assertive can get you "resolution" at the expense of the relationship. Assuming you want to preserve or strengthen your relationship with this person and simultaneously get your point across, you need leverage. Have you noticed that people always — yes, always — operate out of their needs, wants, and desires? If you knew their interests (to get a raise, to get you off their back) or their intentions (to get along better with people), you’d have a way to reach your goal without manipulating, controlling, badgering, or otherwise upsetting them. Knowing their agenda would empower you to make a request or to offer a potential solution in terms they will value. So

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