Effectively Stating Emotions

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Stating Emotions Effectively
Illogical Fallacies
Irrational fallacies lead to illogical conclusions and result in debilitative motions, and since we aren’t usually aware of these thoughts, they are very powerful.
1. The Fallacy of Perfection – people who accept this fallacy believe that a worthwhile communicator should be able to handle every situation with complete confidence and skill; subscribing to this fallacy can lead to the disapproval of others and it can also diminish self- esteem.
2. The Fallacy of Approval – people who accept this fallacy seek approval from others, even if they have to sacrifice their own principles and happiness; subscribing to this fallacy can lead to feelings of nervousness and embarrassment and cause
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You make me happy.
I didn’t say what makes me happy and I failed to share my feelings. It would have been better to say, “When you hold my hand I feel safe, content, and loved.”
7. Why should I help you now? You never show me any appreciation.
I was snarky and negative. It would be more appropriate to say, “Sometimes I feel like you take advantage of me because you never offer to help me, but always expect me to help you. If we both try to ‘give and take’ a little more, I will feel more valued. In fact, we both will.”
8. I was a little ticked off when you didn’t show up.
I failed to express my feelings. I could have said, “I was disappointed when you didn’t show up for our dinner engagement and thought something bad may have happened to you. What caused you not to show up?”
9. You jerk—you forgot to put gas in the car!
I failed to express any emotion or feeling. If I were married, I would say, “What the hell were you thinking?! You used my car and didn’t even have the common courtesy to put any gas in it. Can you imagine my surprise when I got in it this morning – already late for work because I had to feed you breakfast and pack your lunch - and found there wasn’t even enough gas to get to work without making a stop at the station? And, of course, it was pouring rain! The wetter I got, the angrier I became….and I still feel that way!”
10. It’s about time you paid up.
I failed to express my feelings. It would have been better to say, “I’m
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