Foreword
To you, my best friend, my support, my lover,
My feelings for you have attained so much gravity that I feel the need to put them down on paper. Before reading this, I need you to know something. I wrote this for you, not for the world. This is meant for your eyes and your eyes only. Anyone who is not you or me will not understand even if they think they do. This is what I couldn’t express verbally, and as always, I express better on paper.
Please keep this. You were meant to have this in your hands. When you finish you will fully understand.
Part 1: loving
It has been nearly a year since we started talking again after years of no communication. Words do not suffice to express how much I truly love you, and how grateful I am that you entered my life. You have been one of my biggest supports, you have believed in me when I felt that no one did, you have given me your all: your love, your time, your energy, your lost hours of sleep, your tears, your laughs. To this day, whenever I am in doubt, you have always cheered me on and made me believe that I can do anything, that I don’t have any limitations, and that has changed my life; you have changed my life. I never thought you would come to hold such high value in my heart, but I am glad you did, and all the time has been worthwhile. I like to think that I do not have a heart, that I am apathetic, but there are two factors outside of family that say otherwise: my love for children, and you.
With you
I have experienced true love, true passion, true pain, true darkness, true light
I wanted to be a better man for you,
I wanted to feel for you, and the inevitable happened,
I started to feel love for you
Whoever gave you the right to come and steal my heart like that, when I didn’t even think I had one with you I found love
you have a heart more valuable than gold, and more pure than diamond everything that you do and say makes me smile wonder why I think everything you do is cute? you see, when someone truly loves a person, everything that person does is a dance to the viewer not just any kind of dance but a dance that can be seen at any moment in my head
you are what you do, what you say,
what
This is not a single day when I haven’t thought about you. You are most genuinely kind, intelligent person I’ve ever met. You have always been there for me. You always fill me with happiness. In return, I promise I’ll always be by your side and to support you for the rest of my life. I am very happy to see this friendship grows as we become closer everyday over the last six years. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I am afraid to hurt our friendship in exchange for love – we can do both. I don’t know if you feel the same way I do. That’s okay if you don’t but I showed my courage to tell you I will always love you. Can’t wait to see you soon on Thanksgiving and to tell you all wonderful
Thank you for letting my go, for finally ending the pain you knew I had always felt when it came to loving you. I hope you were aware of how difficult it was for me to give you the type of love you so heavily demanded. I was only destroying myself, tearing my soul apart, piece by piece, just to put a smile on your face. Thank you for finally realizing that you have to work on yourself first. I am not and never was capable of doing that for you—no one else is. It was about time you'd decided to end the nights spent crying and the days spent fighting.
I want you to know that I am alive, but petrified, I am trying my best to survive. You are amongst one of the most essential persons in my entire life, we both will always have a bond stronger than steel. There has not been one night that I have not thought of you or about our family. The memory that will always be fresh in my mind is the trip we experienced the time we toured Niagara Falls with mom, when we visited you in New York City. Even though the separation will be the terminal memory I experienced with you, the jubilant memories will always come before horrendous moments. You have impacted my life significantly. If I have never have had you as my brother, I would have a laborious time growing into a young adult, even though you are 16 years older than I am. Your age difference has benefited me oodles, you informed me how to deal with the similar situations that you once experienced. Brian you are my other half, I don’t know how I can survive without you. It hurts to know that we shall never meet again, but please stay strong, and know that I love you! You will always be in my heart, I hope that we may meet again, even in another
When I look back at my childhood I cannot picture it without you. You have helped shaped who I am today and for that I thank you. When I think of you i think about all the love that you have to give. I am so lucky to have you in my life and I will always cherish the memories that I have with you.
I miss the warmth of your embrace every night. You are always the perfect end, and the best part of every day. I wish I could spend all day under your blankets, but sadly I can not. No matter what season, you are always the perfect temperature and you always make sure that I get a good night’s rest. I do not know what else I could ask for. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can not wait to see you tonight!
I loved you more than I loved myself. Not even, I was in love with you, and you broke my heart by breaking it off between us without even blinking an eye. When I called you on the phone a couple hours later, you sounded like you absolutely hated me, and that hurt even more. (Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m not trying to sound like a victim. I’m sure you hurt or were hurting too.) We used to talk just about everyday for the past year or so. Not talking to you everyday is so strange. I don’t know what to do with myself half the time. Whenever something happens - whether good or bad - and want to run to tell you about it. I didn’t only lose my boyfriend, I also lost my real best friend, and my first real, true love. I really thought you were the one. After all, we were talking about going on a mini vacation by ourselves in the summer. You were supposed to come to my Abuela’s wedding and spend your 20th birthday with
To my beautiful wife Hallie Baxter, you have saved my life by giving me purpose and perspective. When I think back about the time I was sitting at that bus stop bench in japan, and you messaged me that day. I didn’t know what to say at first, but as time passed and our love grew our wedding day finally came. I knew when I looked into your eyes that day I found the other half of my heart. Never in my life have I gazed upon someone so kind, strong, beautiful or smart. You have stuck beside me through thick and thin. Without you I would have never laid eyes on our beautiful daughters face. I don’t know where I would have ended up without you. But I know I am grateful to be with you every sec of every day. What I’m trying to say is that you taught
While I was a lost boy in a dream world, that was only filled of you and me together. I know you saw this. Ill still have a dream world but I want it to be one we both create together, I know you have a brilliant mind. You will always light me up like the sun. Thats the best dream world I can possibly imagine and it basically makes me cry like a kid, because I only bring out the best in me. I know its probably odd being the center of my universe or a heavy burden.. but don't let it be, its pretty simple in my head and my love for you is unconditional and always will be, the good and the bad. I've only held you the closest to me above all others always, because you are my heart.
I also want to make it clear that I didn't write this letter so that we never have to talk about this face to face, it’s just easier because it gives you time to think about things before you have to respond. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and it’s taken me time to be comfortable with it so I’m not expecting you to accept it all overnight, it’ll take a while to get used to. I’m sorry if you’re disappointed in any way. You always taught me to be honest, and to be my self, so that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m still the person that you raised. This is just me trying to be myself in every possible
I write you today in hopes of rekindling a relationship lost. The circumstances of my untimely exit from your life were the result of a shattered relationship, and of my own weakness. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for abandoning you. I was weak and needed to find strength, so I may raise you to posses that same strength. The truth is I was unable to raise you, for in that house I was not a mother, but a doll. These past 8 years have been crucial in my evolution. After the seperation of Ms.Linde and Nils Krogstad, we decided to live together and discover who we really were. Through our work and experiences I have learned to respect myself as a human being, and have become the strong mother you need in your life. It is my intention to return home and to replace Anne as your caretaker, if you shall let me. The truth is your father, while a kind soul, is not fit to raise children. I have no doubt your
Hello mom, it's been months since we last spoke. I figured this letter would be a good way to let you know how I am. My therapist also thinks it's a good, in a way it helps me deal with my emotions. It pains me that I have not seen the whole family in a long time, I miss them a lot. The matter-of-factness is that our last conversation didn't go over as well as it should have. I apologize for yelling.
I'm sorry for not being your voice when you needed it to scream, I'm sorry for not stand up for your rights, I'm sorry for not being strong enough to stop the abuses, I'm sorry for not being strong enough to stop the bullying. When you needed me the most I kept myself in silence, afraid of what it might happened to you and still couldn't be avoid it. We've been together since we were born, and we've had to learn to grow together, to learn together, to love each other despite the pain, the struggles, the obstacles, the grieve, the loneliness. I know my apology is way too late, but it is important to me to let you know how much you mean to me, I had to learn how to appreciated the woman you’re today. The woman you’re today is stronger, wiser, intelligent, sensitive, kind, tough and funny; basically, all the things you’ve always aspired to be, you’ve made it!. If I have to think in a
The first time I laid my eyes on you, I immediately fell in love. As the time passed, my love for you kept increasing. I was so in love, that wanted you to forever be mine, hence I proposed to you for marriage. I used to think we had the kind of love that had the ability to overcome any obstacle. I thought it could stand the test of time, distance and affliction, but I think I was wrong. The war has put our relationship on the path of termination, and diminished the intense
Every January brings a horrendous memory for my family and myself. January being the month, in which my sister passed away, unexpectedly taken from our lives leaving behind the heart broken, chaotic, and depressed husband, parents, and family members. No to mention, the care, love, and tenderness that this new born child would be in desperate need of, where would one begin to manage such a tragedy, to pick up the pieces left and go on to love and care again.