My Habit Of Picking At The Skin

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Through my experience abstaining from my habit of picking at the skin around my fingers I 've learned a great deal about myself. It was rough at times pushing through because my habit has been reinforced over many years, spanning nearly three-fourths of my twenty-five years of living. It was obvious the habit had become addictive, but what wasn 't so crystal clear initially was why. My habit began when I was about seven years old. It 's been with me for so long that I don 't even remember why I picked it up in the first place. Underlying my habit of picking at the skin around my nails exists a nervous energy that I 've lived with since I was a young girl. Sometimes the energy takes the form of worry--I 'll get lost in what-ifs, contemplating every minute detail of my life (past, present and future) while mindlessly tearing away at the skin around my nails. Other times the energy is overwhelming anxiety--I 'll be beyond excited about something in the near future, and--not able to contain my excitement--pick away at the skin around my fingers in an odd attempt to either displace the energy or pass (rather, speed up) time. Then there 's a select few times when I am not bustling with energy, but I 'm bored (usually waiting for something mundane to occur), and finding myself needing to keep busy, I 'll start picking. In fact, the only instances where my fingers found reprieve from my destructiveness, was usually when I was sleeping or my hands were busy with something else. I

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