Kassidi Davies Professor Morrison ENG 1101 2 October 2015 Parenting the Right Way Every parent has a different preference on how they want to raise their children, some more strict then others but all attempting to get their children ready for the “real world” as some call it. There are three types of parenting, all very different; one being permissive, another being authoritative, and the last being authoritarian. Often parents are known to suggest ideas to other parents on how they should discipline, which more times than not is taken offensively. Many people argue which is the better way to raise a well-mannered successful child. The argument about how parenting should be done is very opinion based, being that all children are different and have to be treated accordingly. “Permissive parenting is sometimes known as indulgent parenting; it is a care free style of parenting” (Cherry). This type of parent asks very little of their kids and has very low expectations when it comes to learning self-discipline and gaining maturity. Most children wish they had parents like these because they are very lenient and have little to no consequences. However, this causes children to be spoiled, which is a high demanding child that expects their parents to do everything for them and buy whatever they want. Permissive style parents are more like a friend to their child rather than an authoritative parent. In some ways that is an exceptional thing because the children feel like they can
(Baumrind 1966). I have come to realize that my parents and grandparents had this same parenting style. I have realized that I am repeating the cycle and I must break the cycle because if I do not them my children will continue this same cycle as an authoritarian parent instead of an authoritative parent. I would never want to be a permissive parent. This parenting style you are not teaching your children structure. “There are not held accountable for their actions”. (Coon & Mitterer, 2016). As parents we must teach our children there are consequences for our actions. If you do not apply any boundaries or rules as they get older they will feel like the rules do not apply to them. “Permissive parents will cause their children to be dependent, immature, and misbehave frequently.” (Coon & Mitterer, 2016). I believe some parents are like this because they want to be their child’s friend. It is okay to be their friend but there must be some type of guidelines in place.
The parent allows the child to regulate his or herself as much as possible and if expectations are not met punishments rarely follow. Also the little rules and regulation as well as everything else is thoroughly explained and discussed with the child. Overall if the child disagrees, he/she is often accommodated and given what they want (Dewar, 2014). Located roughly in the middle of these two styles lies authoritative parenting. Authoritative parenting is an even balance of authoritarian and permissive. Authoritative styles have many rules and regulations and overall expectations of the child. Typically, the rules are discussed with the child and if believed to be fair, are negotiable. If expectations have not been met, the child will be spoken to and have the situation explained on how to improve for future events (Gwen Dewar, 2014). Punishments do exist in this style but rather than making the child fear them, they are given punishments to “remember and learn”. As opposed to authoritarians’ the child will be allowed to state his opinion and is given the opportunity to question things.
The four primary parenting styles are Authoritarian, Permissive, Authoritative, and Uninvolved parenting styles. Authoritarian parents are very controlling and strict with their children. They expect obedience form their children and don’t tolerate expressions of disagreement. In contrast, Permissive parents are more relaxed and provide inconsistent feedback. They require little of their children and don’t see themselves as responsible for their children’s behavior. They also don’t set limits or control over their children. Authoritative parents are firm and set clear and consistent limits for their children. While they tend to be strict they show love and emotional support for them as well. These parents tend to reason with their child as to why they should behave a certain way. These parenting styles also encourage the child to be independent. The fourth parenting style is uninvolved parenting style. These parents show interest in their children and display indifferent or rejecting behavior towards them. They detach emotionally and only see themselves as providers of materials goods such as shelter, food, and clothing.
Permissive parents allow complete freedom to their children and there is very little discipline visible. Permissive parenting was “Popular in the 1950’s and 1960’s” because of all the troubles going on during WWII. (5) They like to tell their kids “One more time…” whenever the kids do something bad. An example can be if Timmy asks his parents if he can go to a party. They tell him he has to be home by 10pm. Then his parents tell him the limit is 10pm. Then he suggests 12pm and because they do not want Timmy to be angry with them they let him do whatever he wants. Permissive parents have a fear that their kids will not like them. Unlike authoritarian parents, permissive parents make rules but they never enforce the rules. The children in this parenting style are usually immature, dependant, aggressive, and unhappy. They do not do well academically because of their inability to regulate to the school rules.
As soon as the parent does not want the child to do something, they have the urge to rebel to get what they want. Moreover, since this parenting style is based off of rules, the parents have to potential to alter the rules to their liking, which may seem unfair to the child and gets them upset. This may leave the child to view “his parents more of an authority figure than a friend.” ("Authoritative Parenting." The Iloveindia website).
The authoritarian parenting style is a style in which the parent has the only say. This parenting style “is based on obedience and the expectation of a child obeying without an explanation required” (McMillian). Authoritarian parents are more likely to discipline their children. Children of authoritarian parents don’t often get
Permissive is know as the parenting style that has little to no demands of the their child. When a parent has adopted this type of parenting style when the parent has chosen to set rules they are usually inconsistent. Their parenting is usually of being the child's friend instead of an authority figure. Permissive could have a negative effect on the child’s health, they no feeling towards what a child chooses to eat. They do not promote healthy eating habits for their child or children which can lead to child
• Permissive parenting children tend to more impulsive and may engage in more misconduct as an adolescent. The children go on to never learn to control their own behavior and always expect to get their way. As in better cases they child may mature quickly and live a very dependent life.
Many psychologists throughout history have indulged in studies related to parenting behavior and how children are affected from such behavior. The work of Diana Baumrind, which is considered to be one of the most influential and well-studied theories of parenting behavior, was the first to identify three styles of parenting (Sclafani 44). These styles of parenting are called authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. This paper will further explain descriptions of these styles and the typical behaviors of children as a result of each style. This paper will also provide insight on the parenting style I was raised on along with my thoughts on types of discipline I might use in the
Parenting is different for everyone, but is any one way really better than the other? Amy Chua, a professor at Yale University, believes that the strict parenting style of Chinese mothers is the way to go. She believes that her strict and often harsh parenting style contributed to the success of her daughters. Chinese parents believe that if their children are successful, it is a reflection of the parents. Hanna Rosin, a contributing editor for the Atlantic, has very different views from Ms. Chua about the correct parenting style. Ms. Rosin believes that the more relaxed, nurturing, and self-led style of Western parenting is the better way to raise children. She believes that placing your children under immense pressure can produce
Authoritative parents “set standards, but also give their child choices. They recognize the good things that their child does, but they do not overlook the bad things. These parents are more confident and nurturing. They set standards that their child can meet. Usually, this type of parenting leads to a positive self-image in the child (Black, 2008). Permissive parents “do not control their children, it is more like the other way around. There is no discipline, and the child grows up knowing they can get whatever they want. When the parent does try to discipline, the child doesn't take it seriously. These parents give in easily and avoid confrontation whenever possible” (Black, 2008). In general American parents raise their children to have an individual personality, and to be independent from a very young age. “Firm disciplines are directed toward the infant and these are gradually relaxed as the child grows” (Suzuki, 2000).
In my recent psychology class we studied parenting styles. They are grouped into three different categories; authoritarian, authoritative, and overly permissive. This gave me insight into a couple of different programs I’ve watched on television.Authoritarian parents are parents that set strict rules to keep order and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. “They demand obedience to authority.” (Coon & Mitterer, 2010, p. 91) When the child questions the parent, "Because I said so," is often the response. Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, and not positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished for not after the rules. Authoritative parents help their children learn to be responsible for
The second group is called permissive parenting. Permissive parents give up most control and rules to their children. In contrast of authoritative parents, they permit their children to do anything children like. These parents want to bring their children freedom. They want their children to develop in the free ways. They do not set any rules and routines in their children’s lives. While authoritative parents do not provide children with choices, permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the children are not able to make good choices. These parents accept with all their children’s behavior, good or bad, and permit their children develop in the ways their children like. Permissive parents want to bring their children warmness and love, and they never scold or punish their children. However, like authoritative parenting, permissive parenting sometimes is not good for children. Children do things in the wrong ways and this can bring them danger; however, there is no advice from parents to put them in the right ways. These parenting style can bring children and people around them danger.
When the term, “Chinese family,” comes to mind, it can often be associated with words or qualities such as prosperity, diligence, intelligence, superintendence, and even negligence. These associations, however, did not just appear out of thin air. Children raised under a Chinese parenting style often corner the markets in areas concerning child prodigies, successful students, and assiduous workers. Most of the aforementioned qualities of these children can be attributed to the parenting style in which they were exposed to. In Amy Chua’s article, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior,” she explains that Chinese mothers understand that, “to get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want
For many years parents have been disciplining their children in various ways. Discipline is required to train a child in doing what is right and staying away from what is wrong and dangerous. Discipline has always been used in order for the child not to grow up spoiled and choosy. Giving children what they want always is never a good thing, while teaching them that they cannot have everything teaches them patience. Discipline is very critical in a child’s life because it is a determining factor on how that child is going to turn out in the future. People will always relate bad parenting to a child’s bad behaviour and good parenting to a good behaviour. So how must parents discipline in order