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Personal Narrative: Dealing With Anorexia Nervosa

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I don’t remember ever liking my body. In my mind, there was always something wrong with it. The insecurities and distorted perspectives that I had were only exacerbated during adolescence. In the beginning of 2013, my life changed forever as I was hospitalized for anorexia nervosa. My only goal in life up to that point was to have a thigh gap, protruding collarbones, a flat stomach—I wanted to feel beautiful. And so I started calorie restricting. The girl I used to be would weigh herself every day and pray for that number to drop, watch cooking videos on terrifying foods that she would never eat, and lie to her parents so they would think she was eating. Gradually I lost weight and my family members complimented my new look. It never occurred …show more content…

And the truth about having an eating disorder, both anorexia and bulimia, is that it never truly goes away; it gets easier to deal with through therapy, but the thoughts, and perhaps the actions, that come with the eating disorder will last forever. My recovery did not involve special diets, emotional discovery or spiritual enlightenment—it was simply me, armed with knowledge, finally taking control of my own behavior. Making the decision to choose recovery over suffering was one of the best choices I have ever made. Dealing with an eating disorder in high school was a challenge. Nevertheless, I learned to become determined. I trained myself to ignore my distorted thoughts and focus on school. The mere act of focusing was challenging when all I could think about was my appearance, but I had the determination to maintain straight A’s throughout high …show more content…

The majority of women in America, and many men for that matter, are not satisfied by their appearance and has some physical features they wish they could change. I detest the fact that only one third of people struggling with anorexia nervosa in the United States obtain treatment. Therefore, I sought to create a club where I could inform students at my school about the debilitating effects of mental illnesses and correct common misconceptions about those dealing with an illness. Recently, I formed the Mental Health Awareness Club. We are currently raising money to donate to the National Alliance on Mental Illness and I look forward to help others. As for my progress, I now happily eat ice cream and peanut butter and brownies. My fears of food are minimal and I am not afraid to take rest days. Even though I do not necessarily like my body, I am learning to love the girl that looks back in the mirror. I am grateful for every single person that has stood by me, supported me, and helped me fight against my eating disorder. It has been an extensive recovery process, but it has opened a new chapter of my life which includes extreme gratefulness for all the support I have received. The most important thing that I have learned thus far is that my eating disorder is not me; it is not who I am and it does not define me, but it is a

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