Personal Narrative: Escaping The Nightmare Of Laos

My junior year of high school was filled with high emotions, stressful moments, and tension about where to apply to college and where I would be accepted and ultimately attend. At a “Making the Most out of your Sixth Semester” forum that year, the entire junior class experienced lectures from the school’s college resource counselors about how to prepare for this arduous battle of college admissions. The way Sue Biermert, who is the College Admissions Counselor at my high school, opened the forum was by asking a question to the parents that put everything into perspective: “How many of you parents feel like you are successful?” Every single hand shot up from the 500 parents in the

Embedded in my psyche as a child was the fact that college was my only option after high school. This parental sentiment was synonymous with a phrase as simple as “tie your shoes.” For me, high school graduation would be a standard occurrence, but my college graduation would be celebrated. The college I would attend required thoughtful consideration because it will be my rite of passage. When I dreamt of my intended college, I knew it would be set in a beautiful city, bustling with energy, and full of consciously creative people. I didn’t know if my university campus would be urban or suburban, but I knew it would spark excitement, fulfill my need to connect with a global community, and offer several opportunities to propel me to the top of

So far I have learned that college is like getting slapped in the face with a big fat “No.” I no longer have the flexibility to attend social events, study, and work in a timely fashion. Between juggling these aspects, my life has been extremely stressful. In an attempt to lower my stress, I kept a journal for the past two weeks; it consisted of my stressors, and how I coped with them. Throughout this journaling process, I have come to the realization that money and my mother are the most agitating stressors in my life. In an attempt to overcome my mother’s financial expectations and obtain financial stability, I have come to the realization that I cannot always impress my mother and should no longer stress myself out trying to do so. Instead of allowing money to be a distraction, I should focus on bettering myself academically, mentally and spiritually.

Growing up I never gave too much thought to college, whenever people asked me about furthering my education my only response was “I don’t want to go”. I didn’t see the future in it, “success doesn’t come with a piece of paper” I thought to myself, and although that was true I didn’t realize all the doors that weren’t open without that piece of paper. I always felt optimistic growing up, but for whatever reason, I never felt sure about the route I would take in life. Graduating high school was a priority but after that there was nothing. I’ve always had big dreams but back then I hadn’t mustered up a plan on how to get there, like driving to California with no map or GPS I was stranded, suspended in this mindset of what I wanted to be and what was comfortable. Neither of my parents went to college and in spite of that my childhood was beautiful. In hindsight I think that was a big reason I thought the way I did. When I was a kid I remember looking at my

Growing up in the late 1980s in Vietnam, I was getting a more comfortable life than my parents when the economy of Vietnam was on the way of recovery after the Vietnam War. I did not know much about Vietnam War and what my grandparents and my parents had witnessed and experienced. When I was in Vietnam, I have been told repeatedly that it was a 20-year-Resistance-War against America from 1954 to 1975 between the government of South Vietnam and North Vietnam. My family was in Danang City in Central region, so my parents did not involve directly in the war because they were not soldiers. Nevertheless, the war had a great impact on people’s lives from North to South region. This event was a great landmark in the history of Vietnam and America.

Great things are destined for you honey, you have everything in you, and you have no idea how capable you are, everything is there in you, but you have to want it. I want you to go after it with everything in you because with the proper education there is nothing that can ever stop you. My entire life, I have believed that if I work hard enough, no dreams could ever be out of my reach. My grandmother’s incredible story has always taught me that I can overcome any obstacle that may come my way; my father’s speech was an amazing reminder of why I have worked so hard to make my family proud of me. As I approach the start of my senior year, I cannot help but wonder how my future is going to play out. My life has been filled with significant events that have carved me into a diverse young woman. I owe my family for all the lessons and experiences that I have benefited from, and I truly believe any college would be happy to have all the different aspects of culture that I can bring on their campus.

I heard the crowd screaming and yelling; electrifying the air with great excitement. Family members’ cheers erupted with the force of a powerful volcano as the graduates began to enter the arena. As they came in one by one, I saw my mother walk out the tunnel with a joyful smile on her face. Seeing her, it took me back to a place where I hadn’t envisioned the idea of going to college. Lying stretched out on my bed, I stared at the dull white ceiling in my room as the thoughts of my wavering future started to race across my fledgling mind comparable to that of a speeding dragster. With my grandmother only obtaining a sixth-grade education and many of my family members not being able to finish high school, the idea of going past my sixth- grade year remained a distant thought. However, this unconventional thinking changed as I had the epiphany that my mother graduating from college was the moment I wanted to go to college. Regardless of the various obstacles she faced in and

When I was younger, my mom would always tell us about her life in Cambodia. She’d talk about the small village she lived in, how everyone was close, how much she enjoyed living a simple life. She’d talk about the arranged marriage with my father, how they were so young, how Pol Pot came into power, and how she came to America. This is her story.

Slowly dragging my luggage with my mom’s hand in mine, I approach the doors of the Ho Chi Minh City Airport. Reluctant to let go the only life I’ve ever known, I waived a bitter goodbye to my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. At the age of 7, I had to leave behind the comfort and familiarity of my life in the city of Binh Gia, Vietnam. Throughout the 10+ hour flight from VN to the U.S., I had no clue what the United States would be like at all. Once I took the first step off the plane onto the Charlotte Douglas Airport, it all hit me. I was no longer in Vietnam. I couldn’t visit my grandparents whenever I wanted. I couldn’t run off and play with my friends whenever I desired. Nothing was the same and even worse, I had no clue what anyone was saying.

In addition, I am Hmong. The language, clothing, and social bonds reflect the beauty of this way of life, but since the mid-twentieth century, it evolved due to war. Many Hmong people fled their homeland- Laos- and immigrated to America to seek refuge. In the newer generations, tradition is not being upheld because of cultural assimilation. Through my experience with my Hmong culture, I have grown up being conscious of how I portray myself to others, because of reputation and pride being highly valued. I was taught manners and rules to be a good Hmong daughter. However, I do not agree with many of these traditional views. There is a distinct hierarchy that declares men as the dominant figures,

College has been something parents expected their child do whether or not they were motivated to do so. And like most of those parents, mine encouraged me to further my education. Though I didn’t mind doing so, in fact, I kind of thought about going to college or a university for as long as I can remember. In a way, I didn’t think there was anything worth my time to do after high school other than continuing my education. Of course growing up as the youngest child in my family, I looked up to my siblings and even my parents to help me guide in which direction I desired. While my parents lacked some education, and my siblings seemed to find themselves in trouble with either mom and dad or the school administration, it made me realize that school is really a path to decide how someone will end up as. For example, my parents dropped out during grade school and have trouble getting better jobs because of not having a college or a high school degree. My sister dropped out of college after her first semester and though she did continue with beauty school and starting a family, I can tell she wishes she had the time to continue college, not juggling 3 jobs to support her family. My brother never found the motivation to do great in school and though he has some social issues, he continues on his 6th year at the local college with F’s and no idea what he will do once college is over. This motivated me to do amazing in school. In a way, I wanted to do what they couldn’t just so

“Two years ago, I just graduated from my high school in my home country, thinking that I could get into one of my dream schools in the United States and enjoy my fantastic 4-year college life. Since my GPA in high school was pretty high, I expected that all universities would like to accept students like me. I started applying for a couple of schools that I was very interested in, but did not receive any good news. Knowing all my friends had got their acceptance letters, I felt inferior and began to complain about my family’s social and financial status. I complained about why my family could not afford me to go to a high school in the States so that I could have more chances to get into universities that I wanted. Another reason why I was so anxious was that I did not apply for any schools in my home country, so I had to take one gap year in the worst case. I did not want to do so because I thought everyone would feel disappointed in me and perhaps looked down on me. Unfortunately, I was rejected by all my dream schools. At that moment, I was extremely frustrated; I lost my confidence, I lost my hope, I could not see the road ahead of me. Then, I had depression.”

When I first came to college, I was nearly overwhelmed by the seemingly complete independence and freedom that I had. Of course, such freedom has its limitations, and going beyond those constraints will almost certainly lead to serious consequences, as I discovered watching so many of my peers crash and burn during their first semester – or at least come close to doing so. As I observed the struggles of my friends and classmates, I realized how lucky I was that my own high school experience, combined with the way my parents raised me, protected me from most of the disasters that I could have suffered during my freshman year.

The Americanization of going to college is idolized, treasured, and held at a historic prestige here in the United States. You put your hope, hard earned money from summer jobs, faith, endless tears, ACT scores, missing high school football games, slaving away your weekends, and giving up your entire “social life” at the age of seventeen is an epidemic. In the end you’re doing it to get a piece of paper delivered to you in the mail. You pace back and forth, you constantly pester the mailman and even know exactly when he gets to your neighborhood just for the sliver of hope today is the day. Don’t get me wrong I’m the same way especially wanting to transfer to an out of state school after I’m done at ccd. But when you take a minute to stop and think about what you’re volunteering for it can be quite frightening. The dorm life is known as having the full “college experience”. It’s truly exhilarating experience but can only imagine the only experience vie had with it first round was helping my sister move into her dorm freshman year at Regis university. You’re finally escaping the tight grasp of your parents who are insane however you’ll miss them. No more sharing a room next door to your pestering little brother who is always asking for rides and never respects your privacy. New friends, cute boys, cool parties, your own rules and freedom finally. You walk out of your dorm and take on that first day of school. You unknowingly put your trust, safety, well-being, and home cooked

     Last August, as a high school senior, I made a big transition in my life. Not only did I pack up my things and move to another city, I moved with the intention of acquiring higher education. I made the next step in my life by beginning college. High school life as I knew it was over, and my life would be new and different upon my arrival at school. My room, schedule, motivation, school life, money availability and parental influence has changed greatly.