Pros And Cons Of Preventing Alden To Provide Full Information

In “Sex, Lies and Conversation” Deborah Tannen argues that the problems of men and women in marriage are caused by a misunderstanding rather than lack of communication. Throughout the passage she discusses theses misunderstandings and reveals the solution to the problem.

People whose self-concept high incongruence makes their experience contradict with their self-perception. Relatively incongruent self-concept leads to recurrent anxiety. There for from this anxiety they display defensive behaviour in order to relate their experience with their self-concept so that it will seem quite accurate, i.e. they protect their self-concept by displaying defensive behaviour of ignoring, denying and twisting reality (Wieten, 2014).

Television psychologists and pop culture self-help gurus tell us that marriage is hard work; marriage is compromise; marriage is a choice between being right, and being happy. All of these statements are true. What these experts don’t tell us, however, is that marriage is also about putting on blinders, or looking on the bright side, or one of a hundred other trite phrases to explain the art of self-deception. In marriage, there are times when we may find it necessary to look the other way from our spouse’s faults or indiscretions, in the interest of self-preservation. For if we examine these problems too closely, our darkest, most secret fears may come true. Therefore, it can seem easier to focus on the positive. In her poem “Surprise,” Jane Kenyon uses denial, selective perception, and fear of betrayal to illustrate the self-deception that can occur in marriage.

This state of mind that these people put themselves in potentially helps their demeanor to set goals and achieve them. However, avoiding some important information that’s useful may result in a negative outcome. A severe diagnosis of an untreatable cancer would devastate me, yet a diagnosis of a simple cold consists of beneficial knowledge to get better. The only thing that would devastate me more entails being reminded about that diagnosis repeatedly thus explaining how being deliberately ignorance can help someone stay in the correct mindset to set and achieve future

This article by Deborah Tannen, written in 1990, addresses the differences between the communication styles of men and women and some of the ensuing problems that arise from these divergent behaviors. The article asserts "that although men tend to talk more than women in public situations, they often talk less at home. And this pattern is wreaking havoc with marriage" (p. 474). Research indicates that a majority of women state a lack of communication as the reason for seeking divorce as compared to only a few of the men. With the divorce rate at 50 percent the author says there is a "virtual epidemic of failed conversation" (p. 474) in America.

This is very funny because we can see that Jack is also lying about his brother, but he is judging Algernon as if he is a very honest person.

be with him, it makes me nervous.” (Gilman pg. 204) She is very articulate and likes to write but due to her controlling husband is not allowed to; so, she keeps it hidden. Maybe, due to the fact what she writes about are her inner thoughts and feelings which reflect on those around her. ” There

In these situations confidence is masked with false images; giving people a sense of confidence, but not obtaining it.

On one level Alphonse is a loving father. He created something – Victor – and did his best to nurture his creation. He tries to care for his family and looks out for their best interest. He routinely worries about Victor when he is at Ingolstadt because he has not heard from him for some time. In his letters to Victor, he emphasizes his hopes that Victor is doing well and wishes him to not forget

One will either come out of a situation with a positive or negative concept of these surroundings. Poor communication can cause one to have a poor perception of oneself. One's emotional state, dislikes, likes values and body image are affected by the opinions of others and can render one to have an inferior and insecure self-concept.

Common miscommunication among genders is misunderstandings, a woman may assume the man is not listening and a man may think his words are being twisted and taken out of context. Modern men and women by contrast are under the illusion that they speak the same language, though the words they use may be the same their meanings for each sex may be different (Cameron, 2007). Specific examples of some of these miscommunications, the underlying message, a female expects for a man to read between the lines of her words and understand what she is trying to say without her telling him. During the scene where Isabel clearly wants Alex to admit he loves her and wants to make the marriage work, she throws out these signals and expects for Alex to know what she wants when he is clearly confused and thinks she doesn’t want to be with him by her actions.

This conflict affected Linda and Josh perhaps more so than another couple because it hit their primary concerns. Linda was hurt because she felt Josh didn't care as much about her as she did for him. And Josh was hurt because he felt that Linda was trying to control him, and limit his freedom. Many women feel that it is expected for them to consult with their partners at every turn, while men automatically make more decisions without asking their partners. Women may try to initiate a relaxed conversation by asking "What do you think?" while men may feel that they are being forced to decide. Tannen states that communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. To survive we need to act with concern for others but also survive for ourselves.

3. Better control over your thoughts. Having negative considerations now and again is a piece of being human. Many individuals who are pushed don't accept they're ready to control what they think. The anxiety mounts,

Every marriage is bound to have arguments and doubts. The important thing is that both partners are vocal about any situation at hand, communicate and express their feelings or concerns. In the end, whatever decision they reach must be reasonable. In The Diary , Ted’s method of reasoning is anything but reasonable. He invades Agnes’ privacy and reacts violently without evidence to support his doubts concerning Agnes. Was this a normal reaction? Ted is paranoid, he speculated that his wife was planning to take his life, when really Agnes was only going to put her dog to sleep.

They 'll think we 're insane” (146). One can see how ashamed he is toward they things his wife does. This is another example of a conflict which deeply shows his feeling towards the women he supposed to to spend his life with.