Emotional Literacy Alex continues to upset Sherrie, but he doesn't understand her emotions so he doesn't even know he's upsetting her. At times Alex doesn't understand his own emotions. This is called emotional literacy when someone doesn't understand how they feel and also unaware of how others feel. Raising Cain tells that many people complain that boys are to aggressive and "seem not to care".(pdf) This is because boys are trained not to express their feelings and some are raised not which makes them become emotional illiterate. Boys and girls are completely different and emotional literacy shows that girls will express their feelings in some shape or form but boys won’t even give a facial expression or any emotion to show how they feel. Many parents instill into boys that they must be tough, heartless and trust no one. Raising Cain states that boys cry more as babies but as boys get older they express less emotion. (pdf) Emotional Literacy is a powerful tool of communication especially in relationships. This tool enable opposite sex to understand one another’s emotion. Which can help diffuse a lot of situations, and also help a relationship grow. If a relationship is not emotionally literate than one may find themselves feeling as if the …show more content…
Their facial expressions, tone of voice, body language and even appetite. One day I posted a picture on Facebook which caption read “very pretty” because I asked my guy prior to posting it to compare me to a famous person. Men are very illiterate so he says I am very pretty compared to a famous person which I was expecting him to say your smoking hot! They can’t compare. I mean come on who wants to hear that compared another woman you’re just very pretty in your partners eyes? So I wasn’t really mad but I posted a really hot picture of me saying “really pretty “and he liked the
A boy longs for connection at the same time he feels the need to pull away, and this opens up an emotional divide. This struggle between his need for connection and his desire for autonomy finds different expression as a boy grows. But, regardless of their age, most boys are ill-prepared for the challenges along the road to becoming an emotionally healthy adult. Whatever role biology plays (and that role is by no means clear) in the ways boys are characteristically different from girls in their emotional expression, those differences are amplified by a culture that supports emotional development of girls and discourages it for boys. Stereotypical notions of masculine toughness deny a boy his emotional resources. We call this process,
Crying is something that everyone here does; it is a normal part of everybody’s life. However, many cultures believed that when a male cries, his tears were a sign of manliness. In the article “How boys become a men” Jon Katz gives some examples to explain why many man pressured to be tough, to act strong, and they would not allow to show their emotions, pain and fear. This article focuses on the lesson that boys learn from their young ages which effects their lives.
Males are taught to be tough, and if they do cry they are seen as soft. When Lord Voldemort and his army gather at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy is seen crying and shuttering among other Hogwarts students at the idea of returning back to the dark side. Malfoy is yelled at by his father for disobeying him and acting inferior when he was asked him to come forth. The scene when Voldemort and his snake kill Snape, Snape is seen crying which generally sparks a lot of emotion for the watcher when seeing a man crying since society makes it a rare occurrence. There should not be an issue with any male expressing what they feel in a moment.
This starts in childhood when false masculinity is induced by a parent, mentor or neighbor. In a number of social situations, a boy is continuously taught that emotions are not a man’s zone. A strong association of emotions and femininity is imposed on a boy when someone says that crying makes him look like a girl. As a result, a low level of emotional intelligence is one of male typical features by their teens. This means that the skill of being aware of their own feelings is underdeveloped with most men. The greatest emotional outburst is usually about anger because it is associated with “macho” type. This is why it is so typical when a man cannot help feeling angry even in situations when he should normally feel another emotion like sorrow or offence. A psychologist says that many men are “trapped in the
The article ‘Are You Emotionally Intelligent’ by John D. Lawry is about a professor telling us that he had the opportunity to teach a course on emotional literacy. “In 2000, I had the opportunity to teach a course on emotional literacy at the local women’s prison that had been developed by Robin Casarjian in her house of Healing program.” (Lawry. 27) He witnessed firsthand the extraordinary power of such a course for incarcerated women of all ages and ethnicities. This article is basically telling us
The story of Inside the World of Boys by William Pollack brings the attention to us that the boys often suffer from low-self esteem, in large part due to “the boy code”, the unspoken rules that compel them to feel they need to hide their emotions and keep them from exposure. In effect, “the boy code” causes the problem of gender gap between boys and girls in academic performances. I choose this essay because I am concerned with how “the boy code” raises the gender gap between boys and girls in their academic performances and how our societies often underestimate all emotional needs of boys. This story is not only a story but also is a research paper of Pollack which is supported by his research
David Newman identifies several ways in which parents treat their sons differently from their daughters. He mentions how parents are more likely to talk about sadness with their daughters than with their sons and are more likely to talk about anger with their sons than with their daughters. This is because of the widespread belief that girls are “delicate” and sensitive to emotions while boys are taught to not show weakness. He further discusses how parents are more likely to “verbally teach and direct their sons” and use more “action verbs” and “numbers” with them as well. This is because parents expect their daughters to stay at home with the family while sons are expected to go out and work. Furthermore, Newman states how parents are more
As a boy grows into a man he faces the ever-raising mountain of masculinity. In regards to the occurrence, he finally reaches maturity he has no choice but in order to fight to retain his measly sense of manhood. He is not allowed to act feminine or else he’s not man enough, he can’t show his emotions, he has to hide that he can do anything a woman can do sans give birth. Boys grow up being told they are not allowed to cry and that they are supposed to be tough, that they are not able to be like girls and in the event that they are then they are not real boys. This concept is known as toxic masculinity, some people are not aware that men are being forced to suppress their emotions or even that toxic masculinity should be a topic that is
When boys are young they are told to toughen up or to stop acting like a girl when they are sad or want to cry. Michael Kimmel, author of “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code, discusses how there is a code guys are supposed to follow and how being taught natural behaviors, such as crying or talking about emotions, are wrong at a young age negatively impacts boys for their whole life. Emily Smith, the author of Life on the Island, talks about how a decrease in places that have a feeling of community increases the suicide rate among men. Everyone tells boys to act a certain way their father, coach, even people they don’t know, but this is not the only place they hear these negative statements. Television and magazine advertisements often depict men in an unrealistic way that feels unachievable and because of this young boys who view these ads feel negatively about themselves and because of the guy code they can’t share their feelings and emotions which can lead to depression or even suicide.
The fact that my father was gone forever was certainly terrifying, however, the fear of embarrassment and judgment from my peers felt even more daunting. I felt that as a male I wasn’t supposed to voice my thoughts and feelings, even though I desperately wanted to. For the longest time, we’ve been reinforced by society to control our emotions. We’re told things like “be a man,” “suck it up,” and “don’t cry,” because we’re men and that’s how men are supposed to act according to American masculinity. Up until the afternoon at recess, I let this perception of masculinity restrict my emotions toward what was going on. I wanted to talk to my friends about it, but I didn’t think I was supposed to. According to an interview with Siebel Newsom published on CNN, “boys have been socialized in such a way that they're not supposed to experience pain or suffering and that they're expected to be dominant, stoic and in control at all times." In other words, our perception of masculinity and gender stereotypes contribute to a lack of care and compassion, empathy, and emotion. With young boys, there is a desire to fit in and be liked, which is why we act certain ways that aren’t necessarily true to ourselves. And the failure to do so is often what leads to things like social bullying and suicide. According to Barbara Williams, “The problem we see with boys — they don’t
The next term that shows a better understanding of this movie is language. The use of language is a structure of symbols that can be arranged to express a meaning with groups of people. In the movie, it is apparent that both English and Spanish are used to communicate with characters. The use of language in this movie allows the comprehension of the Hispanic culture and it is easier for Spanish speaking people to relate to the story about a struggling family in Los Angeles. While English is used to represent the changes of adapting to a new country where it is necessary to speak English. Without the use of Spanish in the film, the translation of slang terms would not make sense in English. It would also not be appropriate due to fact that the
girls’ cry as fearful. This is also evident as children get older. When you see toddlers playing on
Stop crying. Stop with the tears. Don’t cry. Pick yourself up. Stop with the emotions. Don’t be a pu**y. Don’t let anyone disrespect you. Be cool and be kind of a d**k. Always keep your mouth shut. Nobody likes a tattletale. Bros come before hoes. Don’t let your woman run your life. You b***h. What a fag. Get laid. Do something. Be a man. Grow some balls. The three most destructive words that every man receives when he is a boy is when he’s told to be a man. If you never cry then you have all these feelings stuffed up inside of you and then you can’t get them out. Boys are more likely to act out. They’re more likely to become aggressive. Most people miss that as depression or see it as a conduct disorder or just a bad kid. In the 2014 American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Article, “suicide statistics” describes less than 50% of boys and men with mental health challenges seek help. Every day 3 or more boys commit suicide in the U.S. Whether it’s homicidal violence or suicidal violence people resort to such desperate behavior only when they are feeling ashamed and humiliated” or feel they would be if they didn’t prove that they were real men. If you’re told from day one, Don’t let anyone disrespect you and this is the way you handle it as a man, respect is linked to violence. As a society, how are we failing our boys? All men should learn and be allowed to show all emotions.
This erratic behavior tends to cause issues for young males because many then believe that they can not handle their emotions in a healthier way. Instead of talking about their feelings they go on these “rampages” and often do things they later on regret (Rash). In addition to young boys not showing their emotions, a vast amount of young boys are told to not cry because crying is not something boys do. This type of language molds many young boys brains to believing that crying is something wrong and they should “man up”. This also keeps many young boys from seeking out help when they are going through something difficult (Richards). Suddenly, this then leads to young boys never speaking about their problems and keeping all their emotions buried inside of them. As awful as it sounds due to boys keeping all their feelings inside, this later on leads boys to committing suicide. Boys account for 75% of suicides (Richards). There are many reasons as to why boys act like this but the main reason is society and how they are raised. This kind of parenting results in many boys having problems showing even the tiniest bits of feelings towards anything. This ultimately the reason why males are called
Let’s take for example two cases of two different people. X and Y. X is an athlete and Y is a student, and both of them are on a scholarship, and they need to maintain a good academic average. If X gets yelled at by his coach for bad performance, or even benched from for bad attitude, X would think that the coach is intentionally causing him stress. Same applies to Y, if he receives a bad grade from a teacher, he would think that the teacher is being biased against him. But how could someone actually tell? How could I know as a student that the teacher is challenging my thoughts because he’s trying to motivate me, or because he doesn’t agree with my idea? How could somebody know if that girl doesn’t like them, or is she just having a bad day? And many other questions might appeal to any individual in any situation. Conclusively, it’s rather essential for someone to have emotional intelligence in order for one to have a better awareness on how to handle himself and people around him in various situations, which would eventually lead to success in life.