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Senior Synthesis: My Belief or Disbelief in God Must be Understood Backwards

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My belief (or disbelief) in God must be understood backwards, so I shall start from the beginning. From birth, my relationship with God was set in stone. Being raised in a moderately strong, Catholic family, and going to a Catholic pre-school and middle school, I had basically inherited my love for God from my parents, and they from theirs. I was taught in school and by my family that God should be at the center of everything. That God loves us more than us mere mortals can ever imagine, and that it is our sole duty to love him the best we can in return. This was so easy for me at a young age because my relationship with God was so unspoiled. It was not hard for me to love God when He had not thrown any real hardships my way. I had been brought up believing in a perfect God. One who was “all loving”, “all knowing”, and “ever-present”, and because of this, I believed my relationship with Him to be invincible. But I was wrong. The day my parents divorced, was the day my inherently perfect relationship with God was ruined. The first traumatic experience in my life sent me on a whirlwind that caused me to doubt all the love that God had supposedly had for me; the love that I so foolishly believed in. In the weeks following the divorce, my mom quit going to church because she was afraid that the people there would judge her decision to leave my dad. Sadly, she could not have been more right. People, not even involved in the private matter, quickly made our business into their

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