Tera Winger
Mrs. Pietka
English 1304.26
26 January 2012
The Effect of Helicopter Parents “No Escape from ‘Helicopter Parents’” by Felix Carroll discusses the problem that baby boomers are becoming over-protective of their children and are not letting them live independently. Carroll tells about helicopter parents to make the point that children of baby boomers are being suffocated by their parents. My own experience with helicopter parents yields a point that is both similar and different. What I take away from my own experience with helicopter parents is that many parents hover over their children because they feel their kids have found things of better interest. As a result, I conclude that helicopter parents are not seen
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Secondly, kids tend to have a closer relationship with their parents because their parents have now become more of a friend to them instead of an authority. Carroll speaks of Mark Gamsjager, saying “He skateboards and snowboards with his two boys, Austin, 13, and Thomas, 9” (Carroll 32). This type of relationship will be beneficial when Mark’s children grow older because they will have something in common with him and it will continue to keep the relationship close. I have a similar relationship with my parents and it has been nothing but beneficial to me. Eighteen years compared to a lifetime is not very long so it is important that kids develop close relationships with their parents before it is time to move off to college. I am grateful that my father is a helicopter parents because I was able to spend a great amount of time with him before I moved out. Carroll ultimately proves his point that helicopter parents are a negative influence on their children because parents are “too obsessed with your children. You treat them like little princes and princesses…and by the time they get to college and are asked who their hero is, your child will cay those words you long to hear: My dad. My mom” (Carroll 32). One of many reasons why helicopter parenting is a downfall is because students with over-protective parents tend to lack self-reliance and independence once they are on their own. Because everything has been done for them by their parents, many students once in
As boundaries are pushed, the standards of what it means to be an adult are changing. One factor that is keeping our young adults from becoming functioning members of society is their lack of independence. In Eve Tushnet’s “You Can Go Home Again,” a 2008 study showed that out of those who have returned home or those who never left the nest, “few contributed financially to the household or [do] chores”(par. 5). If the leaders of our future generations refuse to contribute to their homes, what can they contribute to the betterment of our society? There is a growing stigma around adults who live with their parents yet these consequences are not proving any prevention, and those who ignore the reputation are being described as having “failed to launch,” (par. 4). The numbers of those adults are steadily rising. As less emphasis is placed upon the value of responsibilities, adults feel that they are given the excuse to move back home after college or at least find a way to depend upon their parents again. An article by Karen L. Fingerman and Frank F. Furstenberg entitled "You Can Go Home Again," argues for a recent study depicting that almost 70 percent of parents still provide some type of “practical assistance” to their children every month. This specific reliance teaches adolescents that they will never have to work to their maximum potential as their parents will never truly stop cleaning up their mess. While it must be considered that higher satisfaction and clearer life goals have been reported amongst those receiving assistance (par. 3), this gives leeway to indolence and overdependence, essentially teaching our children that effort is not necessary so long as you are
Helicopter parents hyper-involved in their children's life negatively affect them. A concerned mother’s letter explains why she disagreed with the new parent involvement policy of her son’s middle school. However, I oppose her position because, constant supervision results in hindered independence of children . Most importantly, preventing children from learning to manage their conflicts or learn from mistakes means they lack the skill to deal with them. Hovering parents disrupts the classroom, despite the appreciation of parent volunteers on the campus.
Helicopter parents often send the unintentional message to their child saying that they are incompetent of doing things on their own - like the things they attempt to accomplish independently are wrong. Instead of letting their children experience a sense of autonomy by allowing them to accomplish things on their own, an overprotective parent would step in and take control; again promoting dependency. A lot of times, such dependency carries on into adulthood (Sade 1). Instead of being a mature, responsible adult and taking things into their own hands; they call on their parents whenever things get strenuous in their lives. Likewise, adults who still depend on their parents for everything do not mature mentally and sometimes do not have the skills needed to become successful on their own.
Did you know that in the US, only 16% of household include a married couple raising their children (Krogstad). Alfred Lubrano in his work “The Shock of Education: How College Corrupts”, talks about the changes he experienced in college and how it affected his relationship with his parents (531-537). Lubrano claims that the enrichment of education expands the distance between the college students and their parents (532). I disagree with his point and suggest that it is not the college education that creates the distance, and in some cases the aloofness is caused before reaching the college age. Several factors contribute to dissonance in parent-child relationship.
This effect of helicopter parenting dominates the others, because it has been studied most recently, and is a common issue that colleges are having to act upon on a regular basis. Parents, helicopter or not, should be addressed of the matter, because it is a parenting style that is becoming more and more popular, yet parents often struggle to understand the serious effects it could have on their children, or even themselves. In terms of future research, scholars should consider completing more scientific studies on the effects of helicopter parenting, because many college level sources base their data off of previous investigation results. Specifically, more scientific data should be collected to prove the effects of helicopter parents on college students during the transition from high school to college. The concept of helicopter parenting will most likely continue for many generations, and it is imperative that parents recognize the effects of it, both positive and
Being raised in the suburbs has shined light on the difference between myself and my peers. Many kids in my community, including myself, have had plenty of parental guidance to aid us through our struggles. However, I see it as a last resort while others around me utterly rely on it. The self-reliant person I have sought to be allows me to thrive in challenging situations, while my friends’ successes in times of conflict are suppressed due to their dependent
How does a person grow up to be who they are? Most people say it is determined by the way their parents raise them. The parents that hover close and the parents that give their children space will have children with complete opposite characteristics. Parents that hover close are referred to as “Helicopter Parents,” and children that are given a lot of space are called “Free- Range Kids” (Rutherford). Although these styles of parenting are vastly different, both kinds of parents are trying to do what is best for their child. Of the two parenting types, helicopter parenting is looked at as a worse method for parenting. There are more negative aspects of it then there are positive. Not only do helicopter parents
Most mothers and fathers love their kids with all their heart. As a child begins to age, parents begin to influence their kids and will mold them as they mature. However, parents without much care for their kids will leave a long-term effect on their children and in this study, the main impact is the father.
It is apparent throughout research parents have a high impact on the outcomes of adolescent emotional regulations and the behavior during adolescents (Feldman, 2011; Jabeen, Haque, & Riaz, 2013; Millings et al., 2012). Jabeen et al. (2013) states "parents play a crucial role in the social and emotional development of children" (pg.85). This part parent's play can be effected as stated above and the fluidity of parenting styles and their effects on adolescents should be observed. Through research looking at performance in school by Areepattamannil (2010), finds that supportive parenting yields higher achievement in school and is nearly as close in relationship to socioeconomic status.
Most parents take an interest in their child’s life from birth until they become an adult by picking and choosing what is best for them as much as they possibly can. Parents want to help their children to be as perfect as they can make them. Typically hovering parents spend a lot of money, time, and effort filling schedules things like with dance classes, baseball, and tutoring in order to have a ‘perfect’ child. As well as coming to their aid when they are in need, or their defense when they are in trouble. Help in making important, life changing decisions, like where to go to college at, or which career to pursue. When does helping become hovering? The generation of “Helicopter Parents” is becoming more and more prevalent in families. A
Why is it important that parents make wise decisions? It is important because these choices not only affect themselves but also affect their children. Parents and caregivers are vital to the development and growth of children. Parents play a crucial role in every stage of childhood and can play a positive role in helping them get the best out of life. The most simplest decisions in a parents life could damage the life of a child. That's why the way parents raise their children play an important role and have different effects on their child's life.
The hypervigilance of parents where they dictate everything that their child does actually does damage to the child because it stunts the development of internal motivation in these students (Margolies, 2016). If my parents had told me what clubs to be in, what sports to do, what classes to take, and what homework to do at what time then I never would have developed the motivation to choose for myself. It would have actually made me less capable of choosing things for myself, thus causing more stress in my life as more responsibility would fall on me as my schooling continues. The other dangerous way that this forced culture of perfectionism damages these youths is when they seem to be the perfect student, excelling in their studies in high school, and then without this constant support they crash in college and can quickly spiral out of control, not knowing how to handle this new stress as they no longer have the hypervigilance or the praise of their parents to keep them going. Helicopter parents think that by controlling these aspects of their child’s life will benefit them and create the best possible outcome for them. This is very obviously false as it is creating the situation of a severely underdeveloped child.
Being a parent comes with a lot of responsibility and difficult decision making. You always have your child's best interest at heart, but sometimes your child may disagree with the rules you have set down. That is why, I believe, the perfect parenting style is democratic. You can compromise with your child, but still have basic rules you want them to follow, without them feeling targeted or that you are being unfair. When i become a parent, I want to make sure my children have guidelines. I want them to be able to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Their health, their type of entertainment and the toys they play with are three major, broad categories that I would like to have a say in, along with their input of course.
What makes a good parent? People have always tired to find out the answer, because what makes a good parent makes a good family and what makes a good family makes a good society and finally what makes a good society makes the world we live in a good one. Actually it is family where all the social ills come from. It is family that predetermines what kind of society we will have tomorrow, because the society of tomorrow will be born to and moulded in the family of today. So if we want to find out what makes a good parent and try to change the society we'll be living in we've got to start right now. So let's start.
In the past there were many known parenting styles. Parents didn't have to identify the way they raised their children as a "style", it was just parenting. Now, in the 21st century, there are three main types of parenting styles, the tiger parent, the helicopter parent, and the free range parent. Children of these parents constantly debate about which style is the best, so which is the to raise a child? Free range parenting is the best parenting technique.