The Integrative Model

Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend (1999) have created a comprehensive work titled Boundaries in Marriage. In this book they have outlined what boundaries are and what can be done to create healthy boundaries within a marriage. First, let’s look at the definition of boundaries. Cloud & Townsend (1999) define this as “a property line” (p. 17). In other words in a marriage it is a set of rules that a person sets for themselves so that they can control their emotions; this is also known as ownership. A person must find that ownership within themselves to avoid trying to control or put blame on the other person; this

    In their book, Boundaries in Marriage, the authors, Cloud and Townsend, present a theoretical model for maintaining healthy relationships, specifically marriage relationships. This examination of Cloud and Townsend’s approach to maintaining healthy relationships summarizes both the theoretical and theological orientation of their proposed model, compares their approach to the model proposed by Sandra Wilson in her book, Hurt people hurt people, and considers the model in the context of Dr. Hawkins concentric circle theory of personality, and parents a critique with regard to some’ of the perceived strengths and

Marriage has been constantly changing over the past centuries. Currently, trends in marriage have adopted a new way of getting married through splitting responsibilities and work, resulting in social freedom for individuals. "The Myth of Co-Parenting,” by Hope Edelman demonstrates the difficulties of taking all the responsibilities while in “ My Problem with Her Anger,” explains the needs of having a better understanding of each other. Due to marriage changing over the last centuries, marriage couples desire individuals’ expectations and freedom to be met in marriage.

When conflict occurs within a partnership there is oftentimes a withdrawal from intimacy within the relationship before the conflict is resolved and intimacy can occur again. This is known as the intimacy-conflict cycle. In Little Miss Sunshine the parents, Richard and Sheryl, tend to manage their dissatisfactions with cyclic alternation responses, which are instances when one of the partners voices a complaint that prompts the other’s response in order to resolve their conflict (Galvin, et al., 219). This is seen very

Gottman method couple therapy or Gottman's Sound Relationship House (SRH) theory (Gottman, 1999) is grounded on years of John Gottman’s research and exploration about what makes marital relationships succeed or fail. The outcomes of these studies reveal that couples with successful

This paper will examine the theories of two prominent Psychologist; Carl Roger and Aaron Beck. Cognitive Behavior Therapy was developed by Aaron Beck who believed that individuals ‘were a by product of their environment. Person Center Therapy understand that people can use their strengths and resources to solve their own problems. This paper will describe how these two models can be used to integrate therapeutic practices. This paper will also critique and give multi-cultural perspective from a Christians world view.

They point out that assumptions are based on our own feelings. For example, if we feel hurt, then the other person must have meant to hurt us. Furthermore, we should acknowledge the hurt feelings of the other, even if this was not our intent. The final component of the “what happened” conversation is the problem with the assignment of blame, which inhibits the ability to learn about the cause of the problem or to collaborate to fix it. The authors remind us that “…blame is about judging and contribution is about understanding (p. 59).” Attention should be focused on examining each person’s contribution to the problem with a goal of understanding cause and avoiding future problems. An effective “what happened” conversation illuminates the fact that the situation is more complex than either party’s original perception. Next, the authors discuss the importance of having a “feelings” conversation. Although emotions frequently drive difficult conversations, people often ignore them. However, unaddressed feelings generally re-emerge to impair understanding, hinder listening, and damage relationships. Although feelings do not always make sense, they still exist and require acceptance, so that both parties can feel understood. The third conversation is one that we have with ourselves about what this situation means about our personal identity. We may question our competence, goodness, or

Marriage is an adjustment between two people getting married Communication can cause a relationship to succeed or fail. If you do not share how you feel, it can cause your partner to withdraw. Listening can save a relationship. Schonberg (2011) found that “affective affirmation –basically, behavior that makes your partner feel loved cared for or special plays a role in a happy marriage and those men need it more than women. There are several factors and problems that can cause marriage to either succeed or fail. It is important to discuss problem things left unsaid can cause your partner to with draw.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

For this assignment I have been asked to interview a couple that I know well who have been together for ten or more years, and compare their answers to a few questions against one another. The questions ranged from simple things, like gauging attraction levels, to more complex elements, such as what one side had to do to compromise in order to maintain the relationship. I emailed my couple separately as to make sure that they felt no pressure of their spouse seeing their answers.

The topic that I have chosen to discuss throughout this paper is Managing and Resolving Conflicts in a Relationship. This topic is very important to me simply because, I personally see a lot of relationships failing, including some of mines due to lack of resolving and managing conflicts correctly. By the end of this paper I hope that I have helped the reader understand and eliminate any conflicts that confront their everyday lives.

Buddha once said “Nothing is permanent. Everything is subject to change. Being is always becoming.” This quote reflects what we have learnt in VUCA- the world is volatile and uncertain and we must be consciously prepare for it. To me, this notion is far from novelty nor is it surprising. Rather, it reiterates the things that are common to those of us who live in the urban society. Among the theories and concepts learnt in VUCA, there’s one concept that I find particularly interesting: the concept of integrative thinking. In this essay, I will talk about my understanding of integrative thinking, why it resonates with me the most, and how it impacts me.

Conversely, most people perceive marriage as a sanctuary, satisfying the needs of both partners involved. It is one of the most important institutions affecting people’s health and well-being. Firstly, a strong marriage has a dramatic effect on the partners’

People are relational and communicative human beings who, often, fail at being relational and communicative with other human beings, such as their life partners. Humans enter relationships for multitudes of reasons, but most are searching for someone to love and build a life with. However, people have different concepts of what a ‘life together’ constitutes. When people begin to build a relationship with a partner they bring a variety of expectations into the partnership. These expectations may apply to one, the other, or both members of the relationship and they may, or may not, be in accordance to the expectations that the other person has brought into the relationship. Expectations can complicate or simplify relationships; similarly, expectations can make or break relationships. My husband and I have been together for over seven years, but married a little over one year. My husband and I’s changing relational dynamic has been evaluated through both of us taking the Household Survey. The discussion that followed showed that we disagree about the division of household chores and aspects of our future family, but we have similar perspectives about our finances.

Relationship satisfaction is an important part of romantic relationships. A lack of satisfaction can lead to consequences in other areas of life and eventually, the destruction of the relationship. For example, job performance is heavily influenced by romantic relationship satisfaction. In a study by Greenhaus and Beutell (1985), they argued that poor satisfaction leads to poor job performance and vice versa. They stated this was to because these two spheres are “interdependent.” Satisfaction can also influence quality of health. Conflict in a marital relationship is associated with higher heart rates and blood pressure (Broadwell & Light, 1999; Ewart, Taylor, Kaemer & Agras, 1991; Flor, Breitenstein, Birbaumer & Furst 1995; Frankish & Linden, 1996; Kiecolt-Glaser, 1993; Mayne, O’Leary, McCrady, Contrada & Labouvie, 1997; Morell & Apple, 1990; Shwartz, Slater & Birchler, 1994; Thomsen & Gilbert, 1998). It is also strongly associated with depression and depressed syndromes (Beach, Fincham & Katz, 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). This relationship between marital conflict and depression seems to be bidirectional meaning depression is not only a result of conflict but also is caused by the conflict (Beach, et. al., 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). Because a lack of relationship satisfaction can negatively affect so many important areas of life, it is important to understand what influences the level of satisfaction held in romantic relationships.