The Meaning of True Forgiveness Essay

Forgiveness has a different context depending on where the person is from or what he believes. Religion places a great emphasis on the view of forgiveness.

By definition, to forgive is to accept and let go of the offences done against one, and by doing so, be able to remember them without rancor. In other words, the man thought to be forgiving is one who does not totally forgets the wrongs committed against him (because that is a quite impossible action). In reality, the forgiving man is one who is able to recall all those wrongs, and still be at peace with himself and with the offender in question. This activity is quite difficult to do, namely because in order to truly forgive, one must have strong convictions. This can be understood better if we consider how easier it is to hate a person for something he or she did to one, instead of absolving he or she of all fault and consequently accepting to love the person after the wrong committed. Therefore, the moral virtue of forgiveness becomes easier when the determination of giving second chances becomes a habit.

“Forgiveness, assert Fincham and his colleagues, can help restore more benevolent and cooperative goals to relationships” Everett L. Worthington, Jr.(2004). New Science of Forgiveness.

Forgiveness has proven itself to be more significant than just verbal affirmation. It is something that mends social and emotional breaks between two groups or individual, and allows both parties to move past the situation; continuing with their lives. In Forgiveness, A Sampling of Research Results from the genocide techset, “Forgiveness is a process (or the result of a process) that involves a change in emotion and attitude regarding an offender. Most scholars view this an intentional and voluntary process, driven by a deliberate decision to forgive . This process results in decreased motivation to retaliate or maintain estrangement from an offender despite their

The motivation and tendency of people to forgive others remains an important topic of discussion. In today’s society most people at some period have experienced feeling of un forgiveness towards friend, or relatives. “Forgiveness was defined as the ability to relinquish of resentment towards others” (Baskin & Enright, 2004, p. 80).

Furthermore, Worthington talks about two types of forgiveness to alleviate destructive responses. First, is called the decisional forgiveness. Decisional forgiveness is when the

The article "Self-forgiveness: The forgotten stepchild of forgiveness research" is a qualitative rather than a quantitative study of the phenomenon of self-forgiveness. The authors distinguish self-forgiveness versus forgiveness of an 'other' in an outwardly-directed fashion. They state that self-forgiveness has been under-studied in the existing literature. The beginning of the article is devoted to a literature review of existing writings upon the subject, with using a working definition of self forgiveness "as a set of motivational changes whereby one becomes decreasingly motivated to avoid stimuli associated with the offense, decreasingly motivated to retaliate against the self 地nd increasingly motivated to act benevolently toward the self" (Hall & Fincham 2005: 622).

Forgiveness is the excuse of an offense.But it never denies the offense, the hurt and damage still exists for years.When integrity is not justified, justice restores individuals and the society to show virtuousness.Justice is all about restoration, not revenge.Revenge is a retreat.But the society does it different from what most people do in personal relationships.Through the journey of individuals life, forgiveness is a special thing.It can be a choice or an emotional spirit.Some people tend to hold bitterness and injustice for years, while others can sweep away the situation.Some people might argue that forgiving with justice makes everything so much easier however, it is obvious that sometimes justice does not help with anything.Often there

“One must first uncover one’s anger. In doing so, one can work through such issues as identifying psychological defenses (like denial), confronting the anger, or sometimes acknowledging the experience of shame…Once one has committed to forgive, one can begin the work of forgiveness by viewing the offender in new ways by developing empathy and compassion toward the offender…After one has work on forgiveness, one might find new meaning in the suffering, recognize that one has been an offender in the past, and realize that one is not alone

This in turn leads to the idea in which forgiveness is a cancellation of a debt and the offended party no longer expects repayment for the pain caused (Pettigrove, 2012). Additionally, forgiveness is the release of bitterness or anger as an effect of an apparent offense while ceasing to demand punishment (Pettigrove, 2012). Furthermore, it begins by accepting what has happened and choosing to let go by making a decision to forgive and love the offender by canceling the debt (Pettigrove, 2012). Likewise, it releases judgement as well as thoughts of revenge or ill-will to the one who caused harm while resuming some form of a relationship with those who caused the hardship (Pettigrove, 2012). What is more, it is taking the responsibility for one’s own feelings while taking back control of one’s life instead of allowing those feelings complete control (Pettigrove, 2012). Finally, it allows God the room to move and work within our lives as He begins to heal the brokenness.

Experts that teach or study forgiveness have made it clear that when you forgive someone, one does not fret over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you or your person. Choosing to forgive takes a weight off your back and lets you move on with your life. Choosing not to forgive can leave you stuck and is very unhealthy. Though you should forgive, you should never forget. Though forgiveness can be a factor in fixing a damaged relationship, it does not obligate you to make up with the person or people who had harmed you. Some of the things that can get in the way of forgiveness are pride, pain, and anger. If you have been severely hurt by someone it makes it extremely hard to forgive them. When your encompassed by anger it is also hard to forgive with all the anger directed at the person. The most important thing is to learn how to forgive yourself. If you can not forgive yourself you can not ever move on. People make mistake and people do things they shouldn't have done, but that is life. If you make a mistake and can not forgive yourself you will be unable to move on in

In order to forgive, it’s crucial to recognize the reality of what happened and how you were affected. Accept how you felt and how you reacted. Forgiveness frees you from the addictive adrenaline thoughts of retribution or revenge can generate, as well as the destructive tendency to self-identify as a victim.

Everyone has the control within them to forgive or not to forgive someone. Forgiveness comes down to taking responsibility for the choices we make and doing what we believe is right. By forgiving others, authority of our own lives can be regained by letting go of the conflicting objects from the past and moving into a more significant direction. The world today is full of conflict and people are being hurt every day. Conflict is seen today in politics, between countries, and between your average everyday people. Conflicts such as those listed above are often shaping the atmosphere we live in and shaping the person we are today. We can see that forgiveness is a place to start when trying to resolve conflicts, but not everyone will

The reading discusses two different models of forgiveness, Enright’s process model and Worthington’s REACH model. The Enright’s model has four stages that the person goes through: uncovering anger, deciding

Pastor Johann Arnold states that: When we forgive someone for a mistake or a deliberate hurt, we still recognize it as such, but instead of lashing out or biting back, we attempt to see beyond it, so as to restore our relationship with the person responsible for it. Our forgiveness may not take away our pain- -– it may not even be acknowledged or accepted -– yet the act of offering it will keep us from being sucked into the downward spiral of resentment. Forgiveness of one's self by the guilty party allows the guilty party to accept what they have done, deal with it, heal and move on with their partner. Forgiveness does not excuse or minimize the behaviour, forgiveness allows each person to be released from the past and to start living in the present once again. Forgiving is "a point where we are less in touch with the pain of the betrayal and more in touch with the acceptance of the person and the action" (Cordova, 2006, p.