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To Lead Or Not To Lead Essay

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I often find myself in leadership positions quite unexpectedly. There I am, minding my own business, happily going about my own work and helping others. Then at some point I get a call to come down to the managers office. I often make those trips worried that I might have done something wrong. As I sit down, the manager will smile, and give me the wonderful news. I have been chosen to lead. The problem with that is I suffer from a bad case of "lack of self confidence-itis." Yes, I know that is not a real disease, but a lack of self confidence is what ails me.

The first time that I experienced this problem was when I was 12. Granted it was in a religious capacity, but it still was a leadership position. I was called to be the president
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Every decision or opinion that was asked of me, I responded in the form of a question. I tried not to make eye-contact on a regular basis for fear that I would say or do something wrong. I finally talked to our department manager and asked to be moved to another area of the department. He tried to convince me to stay, praised me for all my hard work, honesty and dedication to the team but I had insisted. Unbeknown to me, the other supervisor had been defrauding the company, making our team look incompetent to our upper management, and turning the employees we managed against me. Had my department manager been able to discuss his real concerns, I might have reconsidered. I also might not have felt so incapable in my abilities.

The third time I experienced a lack of self confidence was in another church related position. This time I was called to be a teacher for the class of ten and eleven year olds. You will never guess what happened next! You guessed it, I felt like they had made a mistake. I wondered why I was called to teach. I am not a teacher! I can't be a leader to these children. I am still learning myself! This feeling was made much worse on the first day that I taught. I was not more than ten minutes into the lesson when one young man started to complain. He said that he was bored, that he didn't want to be there and that he didn't want to listen. Once again I was feeling a bit in
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