preview

Warning: Reading Of The Female Singleton'S Survival Guide

Good Essays
WARNING: Reading of The Female Singleton 's Survival Guide may cause the abnormal sounds of your biological clock ticking, outrageous PMS, inability to understand men, and an unhealthy fascination with the film Fatal Attraction. Situation Number Two: How to Handle Weddings This is a magical day. This is a day when two people will announce their love and dedication in front of their family and friends. So don 't ruin it by wallowing in your inability to trap a man into holy matrimony. Remember this is the bride 's day. She should be the focus of EVERYTHING. Keep in mind she has probably been planning this day since she was five. She may very well be one of those Bridezillas, so DO NOT RUIN THIS DAY FOR HER! Luckily you have this guide to…show more content…
Tell them that you are just friends. But when you say it, draw out the friends with a lusty purr and lift your eyebrows. They will be tricked into thinking that the two of you are lovers and move on to other singletons to worry about. Solution number three - Don 't show up. It 's simple. It 's easy. It 's the most used solution for every singleton that is invited to a wedding. You may face the unending guilt trips from your family members and friends, but you can claim car problems or some form of sickness to appease them. And don 't worry about the bride. She won 't even notice that you weren 't there. There my lovely spinster! Surely this guide will help you deal with the bride 's beautiful day. And as you watch them say their "I do 's" reflect on how you will be going home to your threesome with "Ben and Jerry". P.S. - If you do attend, don 't forget to hide in the bathroom during the tossing of the bride 's bouquet. This is the horrid tradition set up as a way to display the singleton to all those who are partnered up. It is similar to being put in a public stockade. If you do get stuck in this "Iron Maiden" torturous display, hide behind all the little 6 - 12 year old girls. They will most likely get married before you anyways. There are some things that visitors to San Francisco should know. The following tips will alleviate some frustration and make things go a little more smoothly for San Francisco first timers, and this advice is coming from
    Get Access